Sleepless In Stormy Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is two thirty in the morning in Seattle and I am wide awake once again. At least I did get some sleep tonight so that is a plus. I am not going to complain about getting roughly two hours of sleep. It is more than I got last night.

If you were to look outside right now you would not have guessed that it was a beautiful day in Seattle yesterday. It is quite stormy outside as I sit here and write this post. Stormy weather can be enjoyable at times.

I think I am going to binge watch some M*A*S*H. M*A*S*H  is one of my favorite television shows. The comedy and humor in the show helps me a great deal with the symptoms of my mental health conditions.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Better

Good Evening, World!!! Today, I have been dealing with a lot of depression. I realized this about an hour and a half ago. I realized why my depression was acting up a little today. I had forgotten to do my meditation and mindfulness practice this morning. So, I did my practice and now I feel better. Today’s topic was love and kindness and how it is okay to self soothe. Meditation and mindfulness self soothes me and is a self care act for me.

After I did my meditation and mindfulness, I watched a few episodes of M*A*S*H. It made me laugh so I hard, I almost peed my pants. Humor helps me a great deal. M*A*S*H reminds me of my childhood when I would watch it with my dad.

It is time to get back to watching M*A*S*H. Have a great evening everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Boring Evening & Wanting To Go To Bed

Good Evening, World!!! Not sure if I have much to say right now. I am just attempting to keep busy and not go to bed to early. It’s not even eight o’clock yet and I want to go to bed. If I go to bed now, I won’t be able to sleep later on which is not a good thing.

I think I am going to binge watch some television. Specifically, M*A*S*H. I love the show and it makes me laugh. There is a lot of humor in M*A*S*H. Comedies help me through rough and/or boring moments like right now. More boring than anything else. So I think I am going to watch M*A*S*H.

Have a good evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Phuk PTSD!!!

I just wish my nightmares would fucking stop. It is fucking angering that I keep having severe nightmares. Nightmares that appear to be increasing in severity. A severity I haven’t experienced in years and is quite concerning.

Thankfully, Junior is helping me through the after effects of the nightmare. He has been cuddling with me as it seems to be helping me the most at the moment. Feeling safe and secure in his arms is quite helpful. Another thing that is helpful for me right now is watching some television (T.V). Junior and I are watching M*A*S*H. Comedy and humor always seem to help me.

It never seizes to amaze me the love Junior has for me. He stays awake with me after my nightmare knowing that he will be sleep deprived when he does a 48hour shift. Junior’s love and kindness gives me hope that things will get better. It’s nice to know that no matter how bad things get for me, Junior won’t leave. I’ve put him through a lot of shit the last few months and he hasn’t left me. Junior has stated that he won’t ever leave me due to my mental health conditions.

I should get going as I want to spend some time with Junior and hopefully get back to sleep. I hope everyone has a good rest of the night. Happy Friday and Peace Out!!!

Is Thanksgiving Over With Yet?

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Yes, it’s still Thanksgiving. I am absolutely beat tired. I have pretty much have been on the go with Thanksgiving Day stuff since yesterday morning.

My boyfriend and I hosted Thanksgiving dinner and it turned out fairly well. Yes, there was a little family from my side however it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Unfortunately, it isn’t a true holiday gathering without a little drama when it comes to my family. All I can say is that my boyfriends family is pretty much a drama free family which I am so thankful for. The family drama started when Jr.(my boyfriend) and I made an extremely special announcement.

The special announcement is that I am expecting twins. Yes, you read right twins. For the most part everyone was happy for Jr. and I. Well, that is everyone but my mother who started drama and well she was eventually asked to leave due to the stress she was causing me. I don’t need the added stress due to being a high risk pregnant woman. I am high risk for several reasons which I will discuss in another blog entry. Jr. and myself are thrilled we are going to be parents. I have always wanted to be a mama and I am looking forward to being one. I just wish my own mama was thrilled with me becoming one. Thankfully, I have another person I consider a mom whom I call Mama Bear as well as Jr.’s mom. (Side Note: Today marks me being 14 weeks pregnant.)

Now lets get on to other events of today. People started arriving around 11am (pacific time) because of The Turkey Bowl. The Turkey Bowl is a football game where people play football with an uncooked turkey. The game starts with a turkey and at some point in the game an actual football is replaced with the turkey. No, the turkey is not cooked after it is done being played with. Yes, the turkey get thrown out in the garbage at some point during the game. I was a little disappointed that I couldn’t play this year. I obviously couldn’t play today due to being 14 weeks pregnant. I am proud to say that the women slaughtered then men in the annual Turkey Bowl. The final score 24 -3. No the men did NOT let the women win.

The best part of the day for me was the food. Oh how I love being pregnant during the holidays. I’m sure the babies are enjoying it as well. I love to eat even when I am not pregnant. Dinner turned out pretty good considering all the preparing of food and cooking I had to do. Thankfully, I had a lot of help and others brought side dished and baked good that is traditional for them to eat on Thanksgiving.

After dinner we played some board games as well as some card games. We all had a blast playing the games. No not everyone stayed for the games but that was okay with me. Everyone seemed to really enjoy playing the game Apple to Apples. That is an extremely fun and entertaining game.

About two hours after everyone started playing various types for board and card games we turned on the television to watch the Seahawk vs. 49er game. Yes, some people continued to play games but most of us watched the football game. The Seahawks beat the 49ers 19-3. I was kind of hoping for a closer and more competitive game but it didn’t happen. The Seahawks played a great game and the 49ers not so much. I am both a 49er fan and a Seahawk fan. Yes, I know they have intense rivalry and that it is an oxymoron to be a fan of both teams but I don’t give a flying rats ass.

Now that the game is over with and everyone is gone, my boyfriend Jr. and I had some private intimate moments. After the intimate moments, Jr. and myself watched M*A*S*H to help the both of relax after an overwhelming day. In fact Jr. is now in bed because he has to work his regular work shift tomorrow. In fact his shifts are 24 hours which sucks but I am proud to be his girlfriend and the mama of his children. He loves his career and I am grateful that he does what he does. Since he is in bed I continued watching M*A*S*H. I am actually going to end this particular blog entry for now because I want to watch the 11 o’clock news.

Have a continued Happy Thanksgiving or at least the hour that is left of Thanksgiving. Have a good night and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out!!!