Working Through Shit

Good Evening, World!!! I am having one of those moments again where I just need to write through shit. Shit that includes PTSD symptoms. PTSD symptoms that are severe at the moment but I know I will get through them.

I should find out some time in the next day or two about how much money I earned with the advertisements on my blog. I get paid through PayPal which will be good for my online purchase and help keep me from using my credit card. I have to earn a minimum of one hundred dollars to be able to access the money I earned which sucks.

I just don’t know why I am having an up and down day today. It sucks shit. Having Depression and PTSD is no fun and wish the emotions that came with them would subside even a little bit.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Awesome Time With Friends

Hello, World!!! It’s me again. Yes, I know this is like my millionth post for today but I wanted to share with you my time spent with friends. I met up with some friends at Red Robin. Red Robin is the place my friends and I go to when we want to meet up and hang out.

My friends and I discussed books we are reading as well as podcast we are listening to. One friend discussed a podcast she is listening to about civics while another friend talked about a book they are reading on the History of Wonder Woman. The book sounds like one that I would enjoy. I discussed the podcast that I am listening to about philosophy.

Discussing such topics with friends is quite helpful for both me and my friends. It is helpful to me and my recovery. It is helpful to me because it helps me not isolate. It is also helpful for me to have stuff to discuss with people.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Blogging Through Shit

Good Morning, World!!! I am not sure what I am dealing with at the moment. One moment I am struggling and the next, I am okay. Since I am unsure what is going on with me emotionally, I tend to write in moments like this. Writing helps me process whatever the hell is going on. It helps me figure out what is going on.

As I write this post I am just going to write what is going through my head. This might be scary for you all as I am going to be blunt as hell and not hold back. Hell, what I think scares the shit out of me sometimes. The stuff coming out is not the scariest I have thought.

I am slightly worried about money for the month of May. Not as worried as I was in previous post but still worried. I know things will work out when it comes the money situation as I have people who can be of help to be if need be. I just don’t want to have to depend on them.

I wish my neighbor would turn down their stupid television. It is pissing me off and for some fucking reason it is trigger me. Why in the hell is someone’s loud television trigging me? Sounds silly but it is triggering for some odd reason.

I think I am going to read. I love reading and enjoy it immensely. I just don’t understand why it is taking me so long to read this particular book. It is an awesome book and will write a book review on it when I am finally finished with it.

I wonder who actually reads my blog. I mean is it reaching the people I want it to reach. Are people actually reading it or just “liking it” after reading a few sentences? I am trying to figure out why I only have just over three hundred followers after nearly four years of blogging. In fact I wonder if tags work sometimes. I know they must but I just wonder how many people actually go to the tags. I know I do.

I should really be doing chores right now. I need to clean my apartment. I clean my apartment once a week. Or I attempt to clean it once week. Nobody likes having to clean but it is a necessity that is part of being an adult.

I think I am going to go now. Thank you for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Clean apartment
  • Art
  • Workbooks

Monday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Speaking engagement
  • Workbooks

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Job interview
  • Art
  • Workbooks

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbooks

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Day treatment
  • Art
  • Workbooks

Friday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbooks
  • Baseball game

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbook
  • Baseball game

Still Awake in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after five thirty in the morning and I still haven’t been to sleep. Yes, I have attempted to get to sleep, I just was unable to do so. I even took my Ambien to be able to sleep and still a no go at the oh so elusive sleep.

Despite getting no sleep I have managed to stay busy. I pretty much stayed busy by reading. Reading appears to be one of my go to activities as of lately. I enjoy reading immensely.

Even though I read most of the night, it still didn’t take my anxiety away a hundred percent. I am worried about money like many people around the world are. I am worried that my tax refund check won’t get here in time to pay the rent. I know I am most likely worried about nothing but I am worried.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I am having issues sleeping once again. Which should be no surprise to anyone who reads my blog on the regular basis. Sleep hasn’t come easy for as of lately and it is starting to frustrate the hell out of me.

As frustrating as not being able to sleep is for me, I have come up with creative ways to keep myself busy. One of those ways is looking at potential tattoos I would like to get. For me the tattoos I get represent hope and/or recovery. I want the tattoos I get to not only give me hope and represent recovery but to give others hope as well.

Not only have I been looking at potential tattoos, I have been working on my mindfulness workbook. The chapter I am on is discussing spaciousness, compassion and mindfulness. The part I am having trouble with is having compassion for myself. I can have compassion for others but find it difficult for myself.

I think once I am done blogging I’ll read. I am eager to finish the books I am reading. In fact the book I am reading is a really good book and I am enjoying it immensely.

Thank you for reading. Have good rest of your night. Peace Out, World!!!