Monthly Archives: March 2019

Happy Birthday, To Me

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially twelve midnight in my corner of the world. It being twelve midnight, I can say that I am now officially forty years old. Today is a big day for me because it is my 40th birthday. Turning forty for anyone is a major deal however it is a bigger deal for me that most people because there was a point in time where I didn’t think I would live to see forty. I didn’t think I would live to see forty because I sincerely thought I would have taken my own life. Yes, I thought I would die by suicide. Turns out that recovery happened. When recovery happens then you have the will to live most day. Yes, I did say most days. The days where the will to live is lower then that’s when you seek out the support you need to seek out. I am so happy to be forty and I hope I have at least forty plus more years of being in recovery.

Yes, I do plan on celebrating my birthday. In fact I have a couple of celebrations already planned with others. I also have my own personal plans to celebrate turning forty. In fact I hope to post about the various celebrations in a later post. I say this as I really want to finish watching The Tonight Show. It is one of my favorite shows to watch. In fact there is nothing better than bringing in any birthday than with laughter and humor.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I am just really grateful to be alive. I am beyond grateful that I chose to be in recovery as I do not have a clue where I would be at this moment in time. So I am full of gratitude for my life, recovery and everyone who has helped me along the way.

I just want to thank everyone for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I really do enjoy sharing my story of recovery with each one of you. I hope everyone enjoys today. I know I will. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 3: One-Word Inspiration

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s assignment is base on one word to get inspiration from. We were given a list of six words. I chose the word HOPE.

Hope can have different meanings to different people for various reasons. For me, hope can be different to me depending on the circumstance however I will discuss hope from the point of  being a person in recovery with a mental health challenge. Having some form hope is crucial for one to be able to make an active choice to be in recovery. With the help of others such as Peer Supports can help one find the much needed hope.

For me to help other find hope, gives me hope. It gives me hope to see someone find their hope because you can see it through their experiences as well as through new eyes. Hope is an extremely powerful experience. An experience I hope you have had or able to have.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s assignment for Finding Everyday Inspiration is to write a list. We were given a list of topics to use for idea’s for a list. I chose from one of the topics as it resonates with me.

Things I Have Learned:

  1.  How to meditate, as it has helped bring peace in my life.
  2. How to do mindfulness. This has helped me calm my mind and bring peace to my life.
  3. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills as this has helped me a great deal with my recovery with mental health challenges.
  4. Learned how to read music when I learned how to play the flute. Playing the flute and reading music has helped me in many areas of my life. Music was the first way I learned how to express myself and my emotions.
  5. Learned how to play the harmonica. If I didn’t learn how to play the flute and read music I would have never learn to play the harmonica. This too has helped me in many areas of my life. Just like playing the flute it helps me express myself and my emotions.
  6. I learned the are of writing poetry. This has helped me express myself in ways people can relate to.
  7. I learned how to paint. In fact I am still learning how to paint. This has helped me express myself when I am unable to use words to express myself.
  8. I am in the middle of learning how to enjoy life even when difficult situations arise. I hope that someday I will be better at this especially among the difficult times.
  9. I learned how to do self care and how to appreciate it. This has helped me a great deal in my recovery
  10. I learned how to accept another persons love. In fact this is something I am still learning how to do. My cat, Lil Gertie, is helping a great deal with this as I have accepted other people’s love a lot easier since I adopted her. It is still a challenge for me but it has become easier since adopting my cat, Lil Gertie.

Beating My Depression

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am pretty sure that many people have heard the news of Luke Perry passing away due to a massive stroke. This saddens me as I remember watching 90210 as a tween turning into a teenager. Yes, Luke Perry was attractive but he wasn’t the one I had a crush on in the show but I did act like I had a crush on him to fit in with my friends. It is sad that Luke Perry is dead at the age of 52. It is just another reminder on how short life really is.

Now on to other stuff that isn’t as depressing as Luke Perry passing away. Anyway, I did some adulting today. Adulting that is much needed this time of month. That is paying my bills. Nobody that I know enjoys paying bills. I know I don’t like paying them but it is part of being an adult. Another part of me adulting today was to pick up my weekly psych meds. I wish I didn’t need to take meds for my mental health challenges but they are a necessary evil for me as if I don’t take them, my symptoms are that much more unbearable and challenging to deal with.

Today’s weather in Seattle was absolutely beautiful. Chilly but beautiful. I ended up taking a three mile walk after doing my adulting for the day. It was yet another much needed walk. The walk in the sunny weather was quite helpful for me. Getting the much needed Vitamin D was an added plus during my walk as it is usually dreary and drizzly this time of year in Seattle.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated on my end of things. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Finally Took a Shower

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I finally took a shower. It only took forever and a day for me to psych myself up to take a shower. The things that helped me take a shower was eating lunch and going for a two mile walk. Eating helped a great deal as it gave me the energy to actually take a shower. The two mile walk helped me clear my head to get into a good head space to talk myself into taking a shower. I am really grateful that I ate lunch, took a walk and finally got into the shower. So, I have done some good self care so far today.

I don’t have much more to write about. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have a good Monday and work week. Peace Out, World!!!

In Desperate Need of a Shower

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am in desperate need of a shower as I haven’t showered since last Wednesday. I have a couple of ideas of why I haven’t showered and one of them is that my depression is starting to creep back in. The other idea is more or less me being in “fuck it mode” due to something I rather not discuss at the moment. I know taking shower will be extremely helpful in regards to feeling somewhat better.

Not only have I not been showering, I have been in isolation mode. I have been managing to not isolate by hanging out with neighbors as well as going for walks. I do need to start reaching out to friends who don’t live in my apartment building because if I don’t my depression will get worse and I will end up isolating from everyone including my neighbors.

The one thing I was going to do ended up being cancelled because the person is on vacation and failed to inform us last week. I was suppose to attended art group today and it sadly was cancelled the last minute due to a communication failure of the group leader. I was really looking forward to attending art group as I know it would have helped me not isolate as well as to motivate me to take a shower.

On a good note, I have taken my morning walks which I think is my saving grace at the moment. I think my morning walks are great form of self care for me and a good way to start my day. I even do an evening walk to clear my head from whatever type of day I may have had. Taking the two walks a day have been quite beneficial for me and my mental health.

Doing good self care, no matter how small, is something that I benefit from. Sometimes it is difficult for me to do self care due to depression. In fact doing good self care is something I make an effort to do as I want to be an example of what recovery looks like.

I don’t have much more to write about in this post except that I will end up taking a shower at some point today. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a good Monday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

Posted on by Gertie

I write because of the fact that people still need hope that recovery from a mental health challenge is possible and in hopes that people who don’t have a mental health challenge, that I show them that we who suffer from a mental health challenge are just like everyone else. I hope to help in the stigma that goes along with mental health challenges.

When I initially started to blog, I wrote in hopes to help in the stigma that goes with having a mental health diagnosis as well as to be a beacon of hope to those who do have a mental health diagnosis that recovery is possible. I still write for the above mentioned reasons. I, however didn’t realize until a year into blogging that is therapeutic for me to write about my mental health challenges so that is yet another reason why I continue to write as well as blogging.

I really do enjoy writing on my blog and hope that it helps others just as much as it helps me. I really do appreciate those who read my blog as if it weren’t for my regular readers I don’t think I would continue writing on my blog.

A Fun & Relaxing Sunday

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is ten o’clock at night in my corner of the world. I am tired as hell as I did not sleep at all last night and have not been able to take a nap today. Despite being tired due to the lack of sleep I did have a pretty good day.

First and fore most I spent some time with my friends. We went out to lunch and it was great. We had some pretty big plates of food that we were able to share with each other and still bring home some leftovers. I ended up getting some spaghetti which was pretty tasty.

After lunch my friends and I ended up going shopping. We went to several thrift store. I ended up buying myself a beer mug stating “Cheers to 40 Years,” I bought this because I will be turning forty on Thursday. I also bought me a bowl for cereal and two pairs of pajama pants. I included a picture of the things I bought. It featured below

IMG_0443 When I got home from lunch and I shopping I worked on a painting that I started yesterday. I would take a picture of it however I am not ready to show it yet as it is still in the beginning stages of the painting. I love being able to paint as it relaxes me and helps express what I am feeling when I can not express my emotions with words.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my post as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a great rest of your Sunday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

All I Want Is Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have not slept all night and it is now eleven o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. At this point in time attempting to go to sleep will be useless as I have plans with friends to go eat lunch. Hopefully, after lunch with my friends, I can try to get a nap in.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I was going to binge watch a couple of television shows. I did binge watch a couple of television shows. I watched the Big Bang Theory and laughed my ass off. It feels good to be able to laugh.

Something else that I did to keep myself busy due to insomnia was art. I finished one painting that I will be giving to a friend for his birthday on Friday. I also started another painting and so far it is coming along nicely with a bit of a twist. I also did some coloring.

I, of course read some comic books. Specifically I read Wonder Woman comic books. I am in desperate need to catch up to the latest issue of Wonder Woman. I have been reading and collecting Wonder Woman comic books since I was five years old.

When I was doing some art and reading Wonder Woman comic books, I was listening to music. Music tends to help me be in the creative mind as well as to help me focus on things. In fact as I am writing this post, I have my music on. Currently, I am listening to my Recovery playlist on Spotify. Music tends to soothe my soul and heal my soul at the same time.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I really should start getting ready to go to lunch with my friends as it is eleven o’clock in the morning and we are leaving to go to lunch at twelve noon. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

As I mentioned in a previous post last night (Saturday), I am starting to post my weekly plans again on Sundays. Well, it it Sunday and time for me to post my weekly plans.

My weekly plans are as follows:

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Lunch with friends
  • Household chores
  • Binge watch a television show

Monday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Art group
  • Get weekly meds
  • Laundry

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Therapy
  • Appointment with employment specialist

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Open Communication group
  • Schedule a time to get my taxes done

Thursday

  • Happy 40th Birthday to me
  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • DBT Group
  • Birthday Dinner with friends

Friday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Word nerds group
  • Belated birthday dinner with family

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Household chores
  • Binge watch a television show