Monthly Archives: January 2025

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time again, where I do my weekly check-in. Sadly, the symptoms of my PTSD and depression have been acting up. My anxiety is also acting up. The various symptoms of multiple mental health diagnoses rearing their ugly heads, I have to keep my emotions in check. One of the main emotions I have to keep in check is my anger. For me, I tend to stuff my anger till I do one of two things which are emotionally explode by screaming, yelling and cussing or I self harm. Thankfully, I have not self harmed in over a year. Since my anger has been an issue I know I need to work on, I have been discussing it with my therapist. I had an appointment with my therapist this past Wednesday. I informed her that I feel like my anger has an extremely short fuse. We discussed how the journaling about my anger is helping. We also discussed what I call going back to basics which are eating regularly, staying hydrated and sleeping well. We discussed how challenging the basics can be and how doing the basics can help lengthen the fuse. I am grateful for the practical suggestions as well as the out of the box suggestions my therapist gives to help me with my mental health recovery.

Besides going to therapy this past week, I went to Red Robin with some friends several times this week. I enjoy spending time with friends and I love Red Robin as Red Robin is my favorite restaurant. One of the times I went to Red Robin this week was due to the fact that it was one of my closest friends birthdays and wanted to celebrate her on her birthday. It is always good to spend time with friends and create happy memories at places like Red Robin.

I, of course spent time with my cat, Billie. I love my cat so much and he helps me with my emotions. He is my Emotional Support Animal (ESA) for a reason. I am so grateful that he is my life.

I do not have much else to write about or discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; Name Your Top Three Pet Peeves.

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
Name your top three pet peeves.
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My three top three pet peeves are:

  1. Lack of communication.
  2. Being late or others being late.
  3. Feeling rushed.

 

Daily Prompt; How Are You Creative?

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
How are you creative?
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I am creative in many ways. I, of course am creative with music. I started playing the flute when I was twelve years old. I was never good at it but I loved playing the flute. I was in the marching band as well as the concert band when I was in junior high and high school. In fact I started playing the flute again at the beginning of last year. I still suck but I love it as well as enjoy it.

Another way I am creative is by doing artwork. In fact I have painted a couple of pictures which I have given to friends and family. I have also painted rocks which I have placed throughout my neighborhood so people walking around can enjoy and take them for their homes. I also do artwork by coloring some giant coloring posters as well as some smaller coloring posters and coloring books. Another art form I do is diamond art/painting.

I really enjoy being creative and I hope you can find a way to be creative.

Daily Prompt; What Is Good About Having A Pet?

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
What is good about having a pet?
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There are so many good things that are good for having a pet. In fact I have had many pets throughout my life. The pets I have had have helped me so much with various things in my life. Growing up I had dogs and cats with my dad and grandparents while I had gold fish at my moms which one of the gold fish lived five years. In fact I even helped my dad with his birds as a teenager. Pets are a great way to relieve stress and helps with responsibility.

As an adult I had a gold fish for two years and sadly it died. Also as an adult I have had two cats. My last cat Lil Gertie sadly crossed the rainbow bridge after having her for only a year and a half. I have had my current cat, Billie for almost five years and I love him so much. The best part about having a pet is coming home to the pet with their unconditional love.

Daily Prompt; How Do You Feel About Cold Weather?

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
How do you feel about cold weather?
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First off “cold weather” is different for everyone. Would I prefer warmer weather such as the seventies and eighties over forty degree weather? Yes, I would. Now on that part I am not a big fan of the cold weather especially when it is cold enough to snow. I am really not a big fan of really cold weather. I may not be a big fan of the typical dreary rainy weather in the forties here in Seattle but at least it is so much better than freezing weather with snow. So I do not like cold weather.

Nightmares = No Sleep In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is a few minutes after three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. I am sadly unable to sleep partly due to insomnia and partly due PTSD. It took me forever and a day to fall asleep and sadly got woken up by a nightmare once I was asleep. Having insomnia and PTSD sucks shit.

I had a challenging time falling asleep due to insomnia as well as some pretty intense trauma responses from PTSD symptoms. I am pretty sure that the trauma response from PTSD symptoms was due to the fact of the family drama last night that I wrote about in my last post.

Since the lack of sleep and waking up from a nightmare due to PTSD symptoms, I realized that I was angry about it all so I ended up journaling. It appears that the journaling is about my anger is helpful for me. I am glad I am taking my therapist’s suggestion regarding writing down my anger as well as calling friends afterwards. In fact, I called one of my closest friends and talked to her at length. I then called my partner, Junior who came over to my place and we talked at great length about everything. I am beyond grateful for my close friend as well as my partner.

In fact Junior is going to stay the rest of the night here at my place to give me moral support. He is helping me color my gigantic giant coloring poster. As we colored my cat, Billie was in my lap. In fact Billie is still in my lap as I write this particular blog post. After I am done writing this particular blog post, I will continue coloring with Junior as my cat, Billie sleeps in my lap.

I do not have anything else to discuss or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Family Drama + PTSD = A Sh!tty Trauma Response

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am currently dealing with some shitty and intense trauma response due to family drama and PTSD symptoms. I am pretty sure the family drama with my aunt is what caused the PTSD symptoms and ultimately the trauma response that I had.

This will be a long post due to it being a long story. As I have posted before, my mom died two days before Thanksgiving Day here in the United States. It’s been extremely challenging for me for many reasons. Sadly, I posted an angry and pain filled post on my Facebook wall under my given name which started some family drama. I apologized many times to many people in my life especially my family. I know I hurt many people and most understand and have forgiven me or at least started to forgive me in their own time and own way except one aunt. That one aunt is the person I offered to pay for their train ticket from Seattle to where my mom’s funeral is going to be which is Olympia at the end of this month. I offered to pay for her train ticket due to her having car issues as well as having some financial issues and wanted to be helpful. My aunt lives in the Bremerton area and could easily take the ferry from Bremerton to Seattle and take the train. So, I have to text back and forth with her a handful of times regarding tickets which leads to the drama this evening.

I texted my aunt about the train tickets close to 8:30 this evening Seattle time. She informed me that she doesn’t need me to pay for her tickets and is unsure if she is going to take the train if she does she will pay for her own. She also stated that she doesn’t respond to phone calls or text after 7:30 unless it is urgent. I texted an apology and let her know that I usually text people after 8:00 due to peoples bedtime routines and that I won’t do it again. She then texted me to next her again tonight which I wasn’t going to do nor will I do now that I know her boundaries. Anyway, this aunt then calls me up and screams at me and has mentioned every thing I have done wrong in her eyes that she heard through the “grapevine” or witnessed yet she hasn’t been in my life very much for various reasons. She brought up so painful shit that I experienced which caused some anger in me as well as an anxiety attack or two. I ended up hanging up on her and blocking her phone number temporarily for my own sanity.

Since my aunt caused so much anger I did what my therapist had suggested and wrote out my anger. I wrote my anger and anxiety in my journal I bought myself for Christmas. So, I wrote six pages in my journal regarding my anger and trauma response regarding my aunt calling and screaming at me. After journaling I reached out to some of my natural support system of friends like my therapist suggested in therapy. I reached out to two friends who were happy to talk with me and I am so grateful for their listening ear.

After journaling and talking with two friends I of course cuddled with my cat, Billie and as I am writing this particular blog post Billie my cat is still cuddling with me. I think after I am done with this particular blog post I will color as I love to color.

I know my mom wouldn’t want all this drama after her death or regarding her funeral. I just wish she was still alive. I miss my mom so very much. I hope she knew how much I loved her even though we didn’t get along at times.

I do not have much more to write about or discuss in this particular blog post except to say I am sorry for posting about my family drama and my anger. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; How Do You Use Social Media?

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
How do you use social media?
View all responses

I primarily use social media via Facebook under my given name. I also use Linkedin under my given name for employment purposes. As far as my pseudo name (and childhood nickname), Gertie, I use Facebook and WordPress as well as LinkedIn. Yes, I consider WordPress as a form of social media.Of course I use WordPress to blog. I use Facebook and LinkedIn for my blog to help spread the awareness I hope regarding mental health. Also, it helps with having more readers and followers. I hope that doesn’t sound selfish.

As far as Facebook and LinkedIn under my given name I seem to use it more often especially Facebook. I use Facebook under my given name to help stay connected with people I might not otherwise be connected with. Also, it is a way for me to maintain friendships with people especially those who do not live in the same area as I do. Like I stated in my last paragraph I use LinkedIn under my given name for employment purposes.

As far as other social media sites, I don’t use it as I don’t have the desire to nor the time to do so. Plus, I don’t need to be that connected to other people. Also, I don’t want to have to remember more passwords which majorly sucks.

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Attend a hybrid 12 step meeting
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning calls and emails.
  • Attend a second online 12 step meeting
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Attend an online orientation to volunteer at the Seattle Aquarium
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Appointment with my therapist
  • Lunch with my partner and some close friends at Red Robin
  • Attend a second online 12 step meeting
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning calls and emails
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning Walk
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning calls and emails
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Dinner with my partner at Red Robin
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning Walk
  • U-District Farmer Market with one of my closest friends
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Lunch with a high school friend at Red Robin
  • Attend a second online 12 step meeting
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time in the week that I do my weekly check-in. I know it has been a few weeks since I have done a weekly check-in and I hope you can forgive me for not doing one. I do not have an excuse for not doing one and I am not using the holidays as an excuse.

As all of you know this past week we had New Years Day. I watched the drone and firework show that was held at the Space Needle. I stayed home and watched on television so I didn’t have to be out in the cold with a bunch of strangers. I was at home in my pajamas with my cat, Billie bringing in the New Year watching an awesome firework and drone show that was at the Space Needle. I enjoyed it and I am grateful that I was at home with my cat, Billie.

New Years is also a time when people reflect on their lives and how they can change in a positive way. I do this throughout the year and New Years is just a good reminder to do that reflections are a good thing to improve myself.

One of the ways I am wanting to improve myself is to continue to go to therapy. In fact I went on Thursday for an appointment with my therapist. We discussed how I can deal with some uncomfortable emotions like anxiety and anger. We discussed how writing down my feelings can be helpful which reminded me to show her the journal I bought myself for Christmas. She liked the fact that I already had the idea of writing down my emotions as well as thinking that my journal is pretty. She also thinks that writing down my feelings especially my anger is a form of harm reduction. She thinks this due to the fact that I tend to stuff my anger and then emotionally explode by screaming and yelling when I’ve had the last straw when something makes me angry. So my therapist thinks writing when I am angry is a good thing and she suggested that afterwards to reach out to a trusted natural support person. I really like the idea of reaching out to a friend after writing about my anger.

I do not have anything else to discuss or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader continuing to read my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!