The Love Hate Relationship w/Social Media

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night here in the Seattle area. As some of you may be aware of that not only was yesterday (Monday) Valentines Day, it was also the fourth year anniversary my grandma past away. I had post several times yesterday on Facebook about how much I miss my grandma.

Sadly, I had to unfriend three so called friends. The all individually contacted me privately that I was being “too dramatic” about my grandma death. One even said that “loosing your grandma isn’t like loosing your mom.” This person does has a point but had no idea that my grandma was my motherly figure for a good portion of my life because my own mom was not able to be a mom to me at the time. Thankfully, my mom and are slowly minding our relationship which is a good thing as she did what she need to do to fix things in here life to be a better mom to me. On that note, I another so called friend let me that I “needed to kill” myself. So basically, was told I should die by suicide. There is no way in fucking hell that I will die by suicide as I have too much to live for.

The reasons I have to live for is one; I have have job I love with a passion. Two; I have the two loves of my lives; Billie Dean my cat and my teddy bear I’ve had since I was born. Three; I have friends and family that not only care about me but love me as well. Four, I want to let my clients know that suicide isn’t always the answer that they one day will do some great and awesome.

I am so glad suicide hasn’t grossed my mind in years. I’m glad that suicide is not an option for me. I love my live and am content with it. Plus, I have great supportive friend and family that love and care about me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post except that I do not want to die or kill myself. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is also greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 3: 1-Word Inspiration

Posted on by Gertie

Home

I chose the word home because home can mean many things to different people. Home can be many places as well. I’ve called and currently call many places home.

Let’s start with my first home. My first home is the place I grew up. In fact I grew up in Anaheim, California. Not too far from Disneyland. Hell, you could seen the Disneyland fireworks from both my front and back yards of my childhood home. You didn’t even to to sit on the roof of the house to see them. I lived there with my dad and grandparents. Even though I don’t live there or have family that live there anymore that will be home.

Another place I called home as a child is Olympia, Washington. Hell, it still feels like home as an adult when I go and visit. I spent my summers and winter vacations in Olympia to visit my mom as my parents have been divorced since I was a toddler. I still go to Olympia to visit my mom a few times a year, now that I live in the Seattle area.

Now lets talk about my current home in Seattle. My home is where my cat is as well as the teddy bear I had since I was born. It’s also that place I like to be most as my cat loves me unconditionally and my teddy bear doesn’t judge me. I am sure my cat, Billie Dean judges me but that’s okay because I know he loves me.

Last but not least home is also where my grandpa lives which isn’t far from where I live. It’s home for me because of my grandpa loves me and he helped raise me. I guess just being with my grandpa makes me feel at home even if we are in the car driving some place.

Missing My Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! This will be a very short post. My grandma passed away four years ago on Valentines Day which was yesterday. I miss here a great deal and I know she is my guardian angel still looking out for me. I love and miss my grandma so much. She helped raise me and I am grateful for that. Again, I don’t have much more to say in this blog post. Peace Out, World!!

Up Date about Valentines Day Grief a Day Late

Posted on by Gertie

Good very early morning, world!!! I am unable to sleep due to insomnia and decided how my Valentines Day went. Over all in all was relatively good day considering the four year anniversary of my grandma’s death. It still hurts a great deal.

I started of my day with a “date” with my grandpa. Treated him to IHOP and shared memories of my grandma. Tears were of course present but I am grateful to share the positive time remembering my grandma with my grandpa. It was cool that I paid for both of our meals at IHOP

On that note, my grandpa and I went shopping for some much need jeans for me. My grandpa wanted to pay for the jeans and he surprisingly too no for answer as he the one that put up the fit with him paying for thing for me. I am grateful that he allowed me to pay for my own jeans and kitty litter.’

Yes, I did get some my cat Billie Dean some litter for him. He also go some catnip. He had a lot of snuggle time with me in my lap. Cat therapy is the best

I sadly had to call in and cancel my appointment with my new therapist for later today due to the not being able to sleep apart. Good thing I know she will understand. I just need to get few hours of sleep and hoe I feel beater to work from home. I hope the extra sleeping will help.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post except thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, reader read my blog. If it wer not for you the reader reading my blog I would not be writing it. So, thank you again from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Good night and Peace Out, World

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Posted on by Gertie

My list for today, day two will be regarding the grief of my grandma who passed a four years ago today which is Valentines Day.

Things I Wish

before my grandma passed away.

  • I wish I had one last hug.
  • I wish I could tell her how I much love her one last time
  • I wish I could hear her tell me she loved me.
  • I wish she knew how grateful I was and am that she helped raise me with my grandpa and dad.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

Posted on by Gertie

I write in many forms for many reasons. But today, I will be writing about why I write my blog. I originally started my blog to help educate those who don’t struggle with a mental health diagnosis and/or substance use disorders (addiction) that we can live productive lives just like those who don’t struggle with those issues. I also started blogging to give hope to those who are still struggling with mental health symptoms and/or addiction that recovery is possible.

Little did I know that when I started my blog that it would end up helping me with my own recovery and became a form of both self care and self help. I am grateful for this unexpected surprise of blogging is helping me with my recovery; both the ups and the downs.

As you can tell, I write my blog to help others as well as myself. Most importantly, I write my blog in hopes to lessen the stigma by educating those with out mental health or addiction issues that we can be productive members of society.

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Go for daily walk
  • Volunteer at Paws Cat City
  • Work on a workbooks for my recovery

Monday

  • It’s Valentines Day. A day I never really liked since I was a a kid because I never understood why we needed a “special day to say I love you” to those you love and care about.
  • Taking Valentines Day off for self care because today marks four years since my grandma passed away due to complications of Parkinson’s.
  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Go for daily walk
  • Take my Grandpa out on a Valentines Day date for brunch to help with the grief of the anniversary of my grandma’s death.
  • Spend some extra cuddle time with my cat Billie to deal with the grief of the anniversary of my grandma’s death on Valentines Day

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Daily walk
  • Therapy
  • Work
  • Work on a workbook for my recovery

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Daily walk
  • Work
  • Work on workbook for my recovery

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Daily walk
  • Work
  • Work on workbook for my recovery

Friday

  • Mindfulness mediation practice
  • Daily walk
  • Work
  • Work on workbook for my recover
  • Dinner with family

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Daily walk
  • Lunch and shopping with grandpa

Weekly Check In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is another weekend and it’s Saturday. Saturdays are the day I have chosen to do my weekly check ins with you my reader since Saturdays are technically the last day of the week according to most calendars.

I do not have much to check in about this week. Overall, work went well this week. Art group at work went really well and if felt really productive. Or at least more productive this past Monday than in the recent past. I think doing art group is one of my favorite parts of my job. I love my job and being able to help clients where they are at.

On the friend front, I went and hung out with a good friend of mine yesterday (Friday) evening. We went out to dinner. We of course went to our favorite restaurant, Red Robin. I love Red Robin so much that I ended up getting six gift cards for Red Robin for Christmas totaling one hundred fifty dollars. My friends and family know me well when it comes to my favorite restaurant of Red Robin.

As far as family goes is I went to my grandpa’s house today. I did some of my laundry which is nice because I don’t have to pay for it like I do in my apartment building. One of my uncles made some enchilada’s for dinner. Boy was is good. I love spending time with my family. My grandpa also took me to renew my driver license today. We waited nearly three hours which sucked but at least I got to spend time with my grandpa.

Now that I am home for the remainder or the weekend with a couple of exceptions, I am spending some much needed time with my cat Billie Dean. Billie has helped me quite a bit this week when I’ve been home. My PTSD has been acting up and Billie know exactly what to do and he didn’t need any training. When I haven’t been working from home, I’ve been spending time with Billie as well as doing artwork while listening to music very loudly. In fact the artwork I have been doing is coloring. I’ve been coloring to some pretty awesome music. In fact, I’ve listened to MxPx, ACDC, Guns & Roses and Twisted Sister. It’s been one of them weeks where I needed some very loud music.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do, however, want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Idiot Alarm Pulling Neighbor Finally Arrested

Posted on by Gertie

Good Fucking, Morning, World!!! The idiot neighbor who admits to the firefighters that he pulls the fire alarm because other neighbors aren’t wearing their mask because of Covid-19 finally got his ass arrested. It’s only taken well over a year of him doing this for him to finally get his ass arrested.

Now my other neighbors, myself and our pets including my cat don’t have to worry about a fire alarm going off for no fucking reason. We don’t have to evacuate the build with our pets and making sure are disabled neighbors get evacuated due to the false alarms of this neighbor pulling the alarm due to other neighbors not wearing their mask. My neighbors as well as myself and everyone’s pets are finally relieved that we don’t have to worry about this neighbor pulling the fire alarm.

The police and firefighters appeared as happy as me and my neighbors are that he finally got arrested. Dude sadly doesn’t understand why he got arrested. I personally think he needs a psychiatric evaluation but that is my opinion.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sad Three Day Weekend for Me

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s Friday and I am surprised that I feel at peace right now. I wish I was happy but I am good with being at peace for the moment. Normally, this weekend would not be a three day weekend for me but it is. It is because Monday, February 14th, 2022 marks the four year anniversary of the death of my grandma. February 14th also is Valentines day which makes it that much more challenging for me that it has been in the past before my grandma died.

I never needed a special day for someone to tell me that they loved me. My grandma made everyday Valentines Day for me especially since I wasn’t exactly the popular kid or most liked kid in school. I think that is why this Monday will be heard for me. It will be hard for my grandpa as well.

I decided to take Monday, February 14th off because of the anniversary of my grandma’s death. On a plus note, I will be taking my grandpa out on a date on Valentines Day in hopes to make better memories. I’m sure this brunch date with be bittersweet but at least we will be together making good memories.

Thank you for listening (or should I say reading) this sad post. I am grateful that you read it. You the reader, reading my blog means a great deal to me. So, thank you from the bottom of heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!