Tag Archives: Hope

Welcome To 2019

Posted on by Gertie

Happy New Years, World!!! It is hard to believe that it is 2019 in most of the world including my neck of the woods. I spent the New Years looking out my window toward the Space Needle as fireworks shot off of it. I don’t live near the Space Needle but I am still able to see it from my apartment. My cat didn’t freak out as much as she did when the Fourth of July fireworks went off over Lake Union and no I don’t live near Lake Union either but can still see it from my apartment. Anyway, I brought in the New Year with Lil Gertie and am grateful that I was able to bring it in with her.

Since I am talking about my cat, Lil Gertie, I can’t help but wonder where she was and what she was doing last year at this time. I try not to think about it very much but I hope she was happy and safe. I just hope that she is happy living with as this year starts. I know I am happy to have her.

It is hard to believe that last year at this time, I had absolutely NO hope at all. Having no hope left me extremely suicidal to where I ended up in the psych ward on the second day of the year. Now, I can say that this year I have no hope and that I won’t end up in the psych ward on the second day of the New Year. So, this year as started so much better than last year. I am so grateful that I am so much more hopeful this year than I was last year.

So, I as I sit here blogging, I am drinking some sparking apple cider thinking about the triumphs and trials of last year and what this year is going to bring. I know that when Valentines Day comes around this year that it will be difficult as it will mark the one year anniversary of my grandma’s passing away. Yes, it will be hard but I know that a few weeks later I will be celebrating my 40th birthday. Something I didn’t think will happen because I thought that I would have died by suicide. But thankfully, I am going to make it to my 40th birthday. So yes, I know I will have tough moments but I will also have some awesome moments as well.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I just want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. You are all awesome. I hope all  of you continue to read my blog well into the New Year. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has has an awesome New Year and that 2019 brings you some joy as well as some hope. I also hope this you brings you what you want and what you need. Happy New Years, World!!!

Randomness of 2018

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is hard to believe that last year at this time I was wish 2017 to go to hell and had absolutely no hope coming into 2018. This year I am not wish the year to go to hell even though it was difficult and I have hope going into 2019. As bad as 2017 going into this year (2018) was, I am grateful that 2018 going into 2019 is on a more positive note and that I have had a great deal of growth this year.

Growth that I really wasn’t expecting but wanting so badly. Growth that has helped given me a sense of hope and purpose. Purpose that has once again given me the reason to continue to live. And having a reason to live is what helps a persons recovery with a mental health challenge. I am beyond grateful for my growth in 2018.

2018 may have not begun well for me but I am grateful for it ending on a better note than it started. In fact it didn’t start well for many people and sadly is not ending very well for people. Granted 2018 isn’t ending as well for as other years but it is ending better than it started and that is all one can ask for.

I am really not sure how I will bring in 2019 but most likely will be spending it at home with my cat or with neighbors. Neighbors that have been there for me this year. Through the good, the bad and the (very) ugly. People who helped make 2018 end on a better note.

I don’t have much more to post about as it appears to me that I am rambling on about a bunch of randomness. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I also want to wish you all a Happy New Years. I hope 2019 is a good year for all of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Finding Ways To Get Out of This Slump

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! For some unknown reason I am struggling this morning. I had a good night of sleep and have had breakfast. Usually a good nights sleep with a good meal helps with the better moods yet that doesn’t seem to be the case at the moment.

I am not sure what I am going to do to combat the struggles I am dealing with at the moment. I think I am going to spend time with Lil Gertie, my cat, because she is able to keep me grounded a good portion of the time.

I think after I am done blogging, I will email my therapist and let him know that I am struggling for some unknown reason. I think he would be appreciative that I am letting him know that I am having a rough moment.

I think after emailing my therapist about this slump that I am in, i am going to do some baking. I think I’ll back some brownies and a cake. Baking will give me something to do and most importantly, I’ll be able to share it with other people. To me being able to give things away especially stuff I have made gives me a sense of joy.

I need to get going. I think emailing my therapist would be the most helpful to me in the moment. Then on to the baking. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

1000th Post

Posted on by Gertie

HELLO, WORLD!!! I am happy to announce that this is my one thousandth post. I have shared quite a bit of my life with you over the last few years. The ups and the downs of having a mental health challenge.

When I started my blog I wasn’t expecting one hundred people to follow my blog much less having four hundred and forty six people to follow my blog. Having four hundred and forty six followers may not seem much compared to other people’s blogs but to me having as many followers as I do have I am happy to have them.

Seeing my blog grow into what it has, has it amazed me. It is given other people who have mental health challenges hope. Hope that was part of why I started this blog. I’m still not sure if my blog is reaching my other targeted audience who don’t have a mental health challenge because it is my hope that those without out and mental health challenge it will help lessen the stigma of those who do have a mental health challenge.

I may not view my blog as very successful but I must have some success if I have some pretty loyal readers and/or followers. So my blog must be a success to some degree.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated on my from my end of things. I hope you can an will continue to read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Being Jobless is Hopeless But There is Always Hope in Things

Posted on by Gertie

Being jobless especially in the field you desire to work in is difficult to wrap your mind around. It is hard to wrap you head around if you keep applying for jobs but not get any interviews or worse you get the interviews but not the job.

I know this because I have been in this spot a lot over the last year and half. But hope is not lost because I figure the more I apply to places and get interviews, the more my name gets out there. Which gives me hope.

The things that keeps me going is looking for jobs and applying for them even if I don’t get an interview. I say this because, my name is out there and at least I am trying to get back to work.

Another thing that keeps the hope alive is having a volunteer job to attend to. Or in my case I have two volunteer jobs I have an obligation to. I have two volunteer jobs because it makes me feel good helping other people and it also looks good on the resume’. In fact I might be getting a third volunteer job later this week if all goes well with a job interview for the volunteer job position I am desiring.

Granted having a volunteer job will not give you a pay check or money you need to pay the bills but employers do look at due to the fact that you were doing something with your time other than sitting on your butt doing nothing.

I am hoping that as I look for jobs that employers look at the volunteer work I do. In fact volunteering is what helps me be and stay hopeful. It helps because I am doing something for others that I can’t get back and that is my time. People will remember the time you give including future employers.

The hope in being jobless is that you have time to give to others that you wouldn’t have if you had a job. Yes, once I get a job I will have to reduce the amount of volunteer jobs I have but I will make sure I will still have at least one volunteer job when I do eventually get a paying job.

Thank you for reading my post. I hope that I didn’t make anyone hopeless with thing post because that wasn’t my intention. My intention was to give you hope by maybe getting a volunteer job as you wait for the paying job you need and/or desire. I want to thank you again for reading. It much appreciated. Have a great rest of your Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Turns Out It Wasn’t My Appendix, So I Am Okay

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I went to the emergency room because I thought I was having a problem with my appendix. It turned out that my stomach issues were due to the antibiotics that I am on. I am still on the antibiotics because they are the best ones to be on to get rid of the weird ass mouth infection I have. The doctors still think I should still take the antibiotics till I see my doctor or when they run out.

Now on to a different subject. I stayed the night with my grandpa. I am still at his house. He is making waffles for breakfast. Spending time with my grandpa helps the both of us.

I think I am going to look for jobs and apply for them as I am getting really bored with the routine that I have now. I miss working and hope that some day soon that I can go back to work. Working does me good.

Another thing I will be doing is reading other people blogs and update myself on what others are doing in their lives. I haven’t done that in a long while. Reading other peoples blogs brings me hope.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope to blog again later. Have a great Sunday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

A Shower Does A Soul Some Good (Plus Other Things)

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! There is nothing like a good nice hot shower to help cleanse both the body and the soul. For me taking a shower is helpful for not just my soul but my depression.

After taking a shower, I decided to deep clean my cat’s kitty litter box. I tend to do this once a week as the normal cleaning of the litter box doesn’t always get rid of the germs; when you just scooping out the poop and pee.

I then did the dishes. After doing the dishes I mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors as well as some other household chores. Doing chores gives me a sense of accomplishment which helps with the soul or at least with my soul.

After I doing chores, I worked on a piece of art that I have been working on for about a week. Specifically, it is a painting that is almost finished. I just have to wait for the paint to dry to completely finish it as I need to do another layer of a different color paint.

As I wait for the paint to dry I read the fantasy novel I have been reading. I am really enjoying the book and am having trouble putting it down. On occasion I do put the novel down to read comic books. Specifically, Wonder Woman comic books.

So what I have been doing so far today has given me some hope as well as some peace. Hope and peace that my soul needed. My soul needed this because I needed to do some good self care.

I have realized that I need to do more self care for myself which includes doing everyday chores. Chores that mean taking out the trash and doing the dishes. Yes, I know doing simple chores may not be considered self care or something that helps one’s soul but for me it is self care and helpful for my soul. It also gives me hope and peace when I do fun things as well. Such as art work and reading.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World

Here’s To Hoping

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, again, World!!! I know I just posted about less than an hour ago but felt like posting again. I have forgotten to mention a couple of things since my last post.

Today, I hope to hear back from the potential employer who I have been playing email tag with to set up a job interview. I am hoping to hear back today to find out when my interview is. It is slightly anxiety provoking but it is one of those things that I will deal with.

On a plus note, I have an interview later this week for a volunteer job at the Seattle Art Museum. I am looking forward to it. Volunteering at the art museum will give me something to do and a way to meet new people.

An idea I have for the day is take my laptop with me a post about things that are going on for me at the moment. For example, I will most likely post while waiting to see my doctor. I also hope to blog while waiting to see my therapist as well but their WiFi seems to be down a great deal. The one thing I won’t do is blog while have lunch with my grandpa at Red Robin. That would just be rude. Now blogging while in the waiting rooms of my doctors and therapist office is a different story.

I honestly hope I hear back about a job interview time for sometime next week. I prefer Monday or Tuesday in the morning but realize that they need to arrange people schedules who will be doing the interviewing.

Having a job will help me immensely with my mental health. Having structure in my life is a good thing and having something what I consider productive for me is quite helpful.  Plus having the extra money will be quite helpful to help pay for stuff that I want but don’t need.

Thank you for reading. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope to blog again in the waiting room of my doctors office. Have a great and Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Who The Hell Knows Where This Post Is Going To Say?

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Yes, I know this is like my third post for the day in just a few hours but I have a lot on my mind. Plus I am wanting to start blogging more often. Blogging about my journey appears to help others and even helps me with my own mental health challenges.

One of the things I want to bring up which I have discussed before and is sort of a random though is the the advertisements I have to earn some extra cash to help pay for some desired things I would like have such as art supplies. I just hope that those who do get the advertisements click on to them for me as that’s how I make the money. You don’t have to purchase anything from the sights. You just need to click on it and let it load from my understanding. I know it’s asking a lot from you my reader to do that and I hope you know it helps me with my hobbies like my art work and blogging and other such things.

As I blog, I hope to blog about different things in my post to add different tags in hopes to bring my readership. I know the might seem a little weird or odd but anyway I can get folks to read my blog then maybe I can help just one more person get the hope they need to be in recovery with their mental health challenges, no matter what their recovery looks like for them. Giving others hope is what I desire the most about the blog.

If you read my blog on the regular basis even the semi regular basis you know that I love to do art. Primarily painting and coloring with some occasional collaging. I am hoping that I can share my art work with you all on my blog as soon as I get my camera fixed.

Something I am going to have to do this next week is get some medical care for a possible kidney and bladder infections. Something I don’t want have to deal with but will have to do so. Another thing I have to get checked out is my teeth. I need to get some major dental care done. Getting both medical and dental health care done also helps with mental health.

Something that has been helping me a great deal with my mental health recovery is my emotional support animal, my cat, Lil Gertie. She has been a great help to me with my recovery.  Knowing when I need to be tended to emotionally. Lil Gertie knows when to get my attention when I am in a bad spot which is good thing. Too bad I can’t take her into places lie grocery stores.

I think I am going to get going now. I am wanting to go read and have lunch. I know what book I am going to read as it’s one I have already started and want to finish. Now trying to figure out want I am going to have for lunch. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Don’t blink or the weekend will disappear. Have an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Let’s Get Fucking Real

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Over all it has been a good morning. As good as this morning has been I am angry. This anger has lead me to write this post. I am fucking going to get real here.

I don’t fucking understand why that only time America discusses mental health and suicide is when a mass shooting happens or when a celebrity dies by suicide? Why in the fucking hell does the media wait to something tragic happens. The month of May is mental health awareness month and not one news station in my area discussed mental health unless there was a school shooting involved.

We as not just a country but the world need to discuss more about mental health and suicide. We need to lessen the stigma that goes with it yet nothing is being done. I share bits and pieces of me here on my blog. I have emailed my politicians and local news stations yet nobody appears to give a rats ass till something tragic happens.

So, here I am sitting at my laptop attempting to lessen the stigma of getting help with a mental health challenge and/or suicidal thoughts or actions. I want people around the world that you are not alone in this battle. It is not an easy feat to battle depression or anxiety or any other mental health condition or suicidal thoughts however if you seek out help from people it can and will get better. I’m not going to lie and say its always going to be peachy keen when you get help and get better but you will have the skills to help you when things to get bad again.

The National Suicide Hotline number here in America is 1-800-273-8255. I don’t know Suicide hotline number for other countries or I would be giving those out as well. Please if you are struggling with your mental health and/or suicide please reach out to someone.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!