Tag Archives: Recovery

Still Awake in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after five thirty in the morning and I still haven’t been to sleep. Yes, I have attempted to get to sleep, I just was unable to do so. I even took my Ambien to be able to sleep and still a no go at the oh so elusive sleep.

Despite getting no sleep I have managed to stay busy. I pretty much stayed busy by reading. Reading appears to be one of my go to activities as of lately. I enjoy reading immensely.

Even though I read most of the night, it still didn’t take my anxiety away a hundred percent. I am worried about money like many people around the world are. I am worried that my tax refund check won’t get here in time to pay the rent. I know I am most likely worried about nothing but I am worried.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having issues sleeping once again. Which should be no surprise to anyone who reads my blog on the regular basis. Sleep hasn’t come easy for as of lately and it is starting to frustrate the hell out of me.

As frustrating as not being able to sleep is for me, I have come up with creative ways to keep myself busy. One of those ways is looking at potential tattoos I would like to get. For me the tattoos I get represent hope and/or recovery. I want the tattoos I get to not only give me hope and represent recovery but to give others hope as well.

Not only have I been looking at potential tattoos, I have been working on my mindfulness workbook. The chapter I am on is discussing spaciousness, compassion and mindfulness. The part I am having trouble with is having compassion for myself. I can have compassion for others but find it difficult for myself.

I think once I am done blogging I’ll read. I am eager to finish the books I am reading. In fact the book I am reading is a really good book and I am enjoying it immensely.

Thank you for reading. Have good rest of your night. Peace Out, World!!!

SNL + Wonder Woman = Reduced Anxiety

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! At this moment in time I am watching Saturday Night Live (SNL). For me SNL helps me with my anxiety. Tonight the anxiety is involving money and my taxes. I am worried it is going to get lost in the mail. I should have had it directly deposited into my account but I didn’t.

Besides watching SNL, I plan on reading Wonder Woman comic books. Wonder Woman my be a fictional character but she is a sign of strength for me. She is so much of a symbol of strength for me that I am thinking about getting a Wonder Woman tattoo.

I should get going and watch SNL. Have a great night. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! If you have been keeping up to date on my blog you know it has been a tough week for me. You also know that I, unfortunately self harmed. A self harm action I will be discussing with my therapist.

Another thing I need to talk to my therapist about is my sleep issues. Sleep issues that has its ups and downs. It just appears it is more down than up because if it was up I think I would be able to sleep.

Something else that happened this week was that I got a phone call. Not just any phone call. A phone call to schedule a job interview. My job interview is scheduled for this Tuesday and I hope it is a job for me.

I also completed three paintings this week. Paintings that helped me express my emotions in a healthy way. One of these days I need to share my paintings with you all. I have shared a painting or two but that is it. I want to share more paintings with you.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Saturday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I again didn’t get any sleep last night. Having insomnia sucks shit yet I am attempting to look at the silver lining in it. Right now the silver lining is being of support to my best friend who lost her mom yesterday. She leaned on me and another friend of our due to the fact we know what it is like to recently loose someone close.

I also did some reading. Reading has been quite helpful to pass the long nights. It has also been quite entertaining. Being able to read and entertain myself has been a useful tool for me.

Since we are on the topic of reading, I most likely will be reading most of the day as the weather is not exactly nice. It is a typical Seattle weather type of day outside. Having a typical weather day like today is great for me to read and to rest since I didn’t get sleep last night.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Reading Helping Me Through PTSD

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am slightly struggling at the moment. I am struggling with some PTSD symptoms. Symptoms that are acting up for some unknown reason at the moment. Symptoms I will be working through.

Besides fighting against PTSD symptoms, I have been attempting to lay low. I am laying low due to the symptoms of PTSD as well as it just one of those days for me.

I’ve been reading most of the day as it appears that it has been quite helpful for me today. It has gotten me out of my head and has helped reduce the PTSD symptoms.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyone Needs A Day Off

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It’s been a day since I last posted. I didn’t post for no particular reason. Sometimes we just need a day off every once in a while even from blogging. Don’t get me wrong, I love blogging, I just need a day off.

One of the things I did yesterday was nap most of the day. I think it was because I was so tired and catching up on sleep. Not only did I sleep a lot yesterday, I also read. I read Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am enjoying the books thus far. Besides reading and napping I worked on two of my workbooks. Workbooks that help me with my recovery.

Having a nice day off from blogging was a good thing. Unfortunately, my best friends mom died today from health complications. She was only in her sixties. She was like a second mom to me. This was the friends mom that helped me convince my grandma to play the flute.  Please keep my friend and her family in your thoughts and send positive vibes their way.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Check-Ins + Homework = Good Therapist

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! My therapist checked in with me to see how I am doing after my self harm act last night. He is now putting me on daily check ins as a precaution. They don’t have to be in person but he is concerned about me and rightfully so.

Besides the daily check-ins he will be giving me daily assignments to do. So we will be discussing my assignments in our regular sessions. Which I am planning on doing. One of the assignments he wants me to do is paint a picture of how I am feeling today. He also want me to write a paper on it as well. I like this type of homework.

My therapist wants me to use the skill’s that I do on the normal basis as part of my homework. Like the painting and the writing . I am looking forward to doing this .

Thank  you for reading my weird blog right now. Peace Out, World!!!

Blogging Outside In Beautiful Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am sitting outside on the patio of my apartment building as it is beautiful outside. I am blogging outside because it is beautiful and it something that is “out of the box” for me to do. Doing something “out of the box” was suggested by my therapist a few weeks ago.

After I am done blogging, I am going to be reading outside. I just want to soak up this beautiful weather while it last. I love reading outside when it is nice out.

Thank you for reading my blog It is appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Blogging to Work Through Shit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am struggling at the moment despite doing some self soothing. Don’t get me wrong the self soothing is helpful for me. Even though I feel like I don’t deserve to self soothe it’s helpful. Helpful to where I don’t currently don’t feel like a scared little kid.

Part of what helped me not feel like a scared little kid is by coloring. Coloring appears to be helpful to me as an adult as well as the scared little kid and angry teenager in me. It is so helpful to me that I recommend coloring to pretty much everybody.

One of the worst feelings in the world for me is feeling like the scared little kid or the angry teenager. This is why I personally need to be willing to practice mindfulness as well as self soothing. Mindfulness helps me to a degree with to not dissociate. When I dissociate I am most likely to become a scared little kid or angry teenager.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!