Two O’clock in the Morning Bullshit

Good Morning, World!!! It is two o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world and all I have to say is a bunch of bullshit for being in the middle of the night. Bullshit that is nothing but a bunch of randomness. I, of course obviously can not sleep if I am blogging at this time of night. I did get a few hours of sleep in since I posted my last post which is a good thing.

Right now, with the way I things are going I have to make sure I use my Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills. My DBT skill have helped me a great deal over the last seventeen years. Yes, the DBT skills helped me in both the good a bad times. Right now my DBT skills are helping me with being somewhere in the middle of good and bad.

One of the things I am going to do is do some art work. I have been working a great deal on combining two genres of art and this painting and collaging. As awesome as it has been combining the two genres, I feel like now is not the time to work on neither painting or collaging and even both. So the art the I am going to focus on right now is coloring. Coloring is a mindfulness skill for me and it is quite meditative to me.

Speaking mindfulness and meditation I will also be doing some mindfulness and meditation practices. As they help me put me in a better place than I am in even if I am in a great place.

I, of course will be doing some binge watching some television tonight. Not sure what show I will be watching but it will be on one of the streaming sites a subscribe to. That will either be Netflix or Hulu but again not sure what type of television I will be watching. Hell, I might even watch a movie instead of television. I am pretty sure you don’t like the ads on my blog as I don’t either but I don’t get paid till I hit $100 and I am barely at $50. So once I get paid I will take of the advertisements off of my blog. So please click on the advertisements once or twice a week so I can get the $100 I need to get paid so I can get gifts for friends and family for the holiday season.

Again, I want to bring up some bullshit I keep bringing up in recent post and hope that you can do me the favor of clicking on the advertisements that appear on my blog. Every time someone clicks on an advertisement and lets it load all the way, I get anywhere from a few cent to a couple of dollars.

I want to thank you all for reading my post especially this one since it is a bullshit post. The main bullshit of this post is me asking you to click on the advertisements on my blog as each click does give me money but I don’t receive that money till it hits $100 which sucks but what can I do about it. Nothing. Thank you again for reading my blog as it is much appreciated. I hope you continue to read my and even click on an advertisement or two. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Lazy A$$ Day

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been another lazy ass day for me. I didn’t go to my volunteer job today.  I took today off from my volunteer job as I needed to take time to myself.

Today marks five months since I got my cat, Lil Gertie. She has been a blessing in my life and has helped me a great deal emotionally. Having Lil Gertie, is helping me keep my apartment cleaner than it was before I got adopted her. So, Lil Gertie, has been helping me in more ways than I expected.

I spent most of the day binge watching television and movies. While binge watching television and movies, Lil Gertie spent it by my sided in my chair between me and the arm rest. I think I will continue to binge watch television and movies till I got to bed.

Thank you for reading my blog it is greatly appreciated. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your Saturday. Again, thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Thursday Evening Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! First things first, I finally got some rest today. I was able to take a nap. I took a five hour nap which is a miracle for multiple reason. One, I rarely am able to take a nap. Secondly, sleeping for five hours for me even when it’s at night is an extreme rarity. So, I am thrilled that I was able to sleep and am grateful it was for so long. I do worry that I won’t be able to sleep tonight due to such a long nap.

I did let my work know today via email that I have a disability and that I will need accommodations. I informed them of two accommodations right off the bat in the email and informed them I will let them know of the other accommodations I will need or willing to work out with them by then end of next week. My supervisor’s supervisor thanked me for let me know and keep him informed and if any other accommodations come up the longer I work there don’t hesitate to inform the appropriate people who will be in the need to know category.  It feels like I am very supported at my new job.

Even though I have had an overall good day, with a positive email from work regarding disability accommodations and a five hour nap, I still have self harm urges. Self harm urges that I wish weren’t so strong at the moment. (Side Note: I will not self harm as I already have a safety plan in place and have talked with a crisis work on whom I can call back if needed.) Having self harm urges when things appear to be going well are quite annoying. Hell, even when things aren’t going well self harm urges are annoying.

I think after I am done posting this post that I will binge watch some television on Netflix or Hulu. Not sure what shows, I will binge watch but it will be a great way to vedge out for a few hours especially if I am unable to sleep tonight.

As a quick reminder to you all, I have advertisements on my blog. The advertisements are meant for me to earn a few extra cents to dollars a month. The way I earn the money is if you my reader click on the advertisement. I would appreciate it from the bottom of my heart if you could click on an advertisement or two once a week if you feel like helping a fellow blogger out. I am trying to earn extra money to buy gifts for friends and family for the upcoming holidays.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you reading my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful evening. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Nothing Sort of Day

Good Evening, World!!! Overall, today has been good. I have had bouts of crying spells due to depression and grief. Grief over the loss of my grandma, seven months ago today. The last seven months have has proven to be challenging due to the loss of my grandma as you never know when a sudden wave of grief will hit.

As I stated in my last post today was going to be a day of self care due to the grief of loosing my grandma seven months ago. I thought I was going to watch movies most of the day but it turned out to watching television or at least a television show on Hulu. I binged watched the show, E.R. I forgot how much I loved the show E.R.

I not only binge watched E.R., I read comic books. I specifically read Wonder Woman comic books. Reading gave my eyes a break from the computer screen and they were happy that I do.

I watched E.R and read comic books while curled up under my weighted blanket with my cat, Lil Gertie, next to me. My weighted blanket and Lil Gertie helped with my depression and anxiety today.

Today, was the perfect day to do nothing due to the weather. I am glad I decided to stay in and watch E.R and read Wonder Woman due to the weather. Despite being pretty isolated today I am glad I chose to be isolated. I had a good time binge watching E.R and reading Wonder Woman comics and plan to continue to do both after I finish with this post.

Thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate you my reader from the bottom of my heart. You guys are all awesome. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

More Randomness With Some Oddities

Good Afternoon, World!!! It appears that I find myself at wits end with a bunch of randomness things to share with all of you. I have no clue why I am full of random stuff to share with you today but I do.

Let’s start with me getting an interview for a volunteer job at the Seattle Art Museum (SAM). I am of course going to dress up in interview attire to make a good impression even though it is just for a volunteer position. I know it is just a volunteer job but I hope I get it as it will help me learn more about the arts as well as make me more of a well rounded person. Plus, it will look good on the resume’ as well.

As far as trying to get an interview for an actual paying job, that appears to be more challenging at the moment as I was informed that they would get back to me sometime today with an interview time. I know with job interviews that there always seems to be at least two if not three interviewers in the room and trying to get everyone’s schedule to get into sync with each others is difficult to do.  I just hope they get back to me today however it seems pretty unlikely at the moment even though its not even two forty-five in the afternoon yet.

I haven’t been watching much television as of lately. Actually, I have watched any at all today. I am not sure why. Maybe because there is usually nothing good on television to begin with. I haven’t even watched any movies or anything on HULU or Neflix. Maybe I am just enjoying the quite.

My mouth infection is still causing me some major pain. Thankfully, I see my doctor tomorrow morning. Hopefully, she will give me so stronger antibiotics for the infection. I am also hope she could give me something stronger than ibuprofen but it’s the stronger antibiotics that would be most helpful to me.

Thank you for reading yet another post on nothing but randomness. It appears that my post today have been quite random in nature. Again, thank you for reading. I hope you have great Thursday. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I just got done watching the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. He is a very funny person. I am planning on going to bed within the next hour. Lil Gertie is smack dab in the middle of my bed. If she is still there when I go to be, I will move her.

I am planning on watching M*A*S*H after I am done blogging. Watching something that is a comedy or has humor involved helps with my anxiety especially before bed. Some how laughter helps me sleep.

I haven’t really done much all day as I didn’t have much planned but an interview that got cancelled. It was a nice and relaxing day for me. I read a great deal. I read about Buddhism. I also read Buddhist Scriptures.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Fun Doesn’t = Anxiety

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am sitting here blogging as I watch The Ellen Show on television. Lil Gertie is sitting by my side purring. I have been having anxiety all day and Lil Gertie has been helping. Watching Ellen is proven to be helpful as well. It has proven to be helpful due to the fact she is funny as hell. I would love to be in the audience of the Ellen Show but fear being on television.

I have been working on my scrapbook a great deal today. It is starting to come along. I am looking forward to showing it to people including my therapist. Since my therapist is new to me, showing him a scrap book of what is important to me might help him get to know me a little bit more. Scrap booking is like painting for me. It is a way to express my emotions.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Neighbor Drama

Hello, World!!! I witnessed one of my white neighbors be an asshole and call another neighbor the “n” word. This started an argument and the African American neighbor walked away as he didn’t want the arguing to continue. My white neighbor went at him and him so hard in the back he fell to his knees. At this point myself and other witness’s called the police.

The police showed up with the fire department where my African American neighbor not only pressed charges but went to the hospital as precaution. The police took witness statements and two of the neighbors (who are white) attempted to say it was the African American’s fault not the white neighbors fault.

I as a white person attempted to explain to the white witnesses sticking up for the asshole of a neighbor about white privilege. They were trying to argue with me so I stopped the conversation. I did my best to do so to explain what it was. Unfortunately, I think it made things worse.

Who needs a television drama when you have drama in your apartment building. There is never a dull moment in my building. I just wish the drama that happened this evening didn’t happen as someone got hurt. I hate drama.

Thank you for reading. I hope I didn’t trigger anyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Midnight Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It is midnight in my corner of the world. I am up watching television. Actually, I am watching The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. I watch this show as it helps with my anxiety especially before I go to bed for the night.

Another thing that helps with my anxiety is the new weighted blank I got today. I really recommend it as it appears to be helpful. Or at least the twelve or so hours I have had it. I didn’t think it would be helpful and boy was I wrong.

I have been working on one of my workbooks. In fact I have been working on the workbooks that deals with mindfulness. Focusing on mindfulness as been quite helpful when I am dealing with.

I think the Ambien is starting to kick in. I think I should get some sleep before I get a little loopy from the Ambien.

Thank you for reading. It is very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Is It Too Much To Ask For Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! It is three o’clock in the morning and I haven’t been to sleep yet. I have been keeping myself busy by reading. Reading appears to be of help to me. Especially on nights where I am unable to sleep. Reading is so much more fun than watching middle of the night television. Television that is nothing but infomercials.

I have also been working on my workbook. A workbook that is geared toward folks with insomnia who struggle with depression and anxiety. I am only on the first chapter but so far I am finding it helpful.

I am grateful that I have the abilities to help myself through not being able to sleep. Yes, insomnia suck shit but I am able to help myself. I am able to help myself by reading, doing workbooks, blogging and other such things.

Thanks for reading. I hope to be able to get some sort of sleep. Have a great morning even if it is still the middle of the night for you. Peace Out, World!!!