Tag Archives: Therapy

Dealing W/Grandma In Hospice Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’ve been dealing with my grandma and her being in hospice care. It hasn’t been the easiest ordeal for me or my family. My dad isn’t taking it all that well. I wish I knew how to help him though besides just being a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. He is trying his best to be of support to me as well.

Something that helped today was therapy. I saw Gilbert today. We discussed my grandma and her being in hospice. I just broke down crying and Gilbert gave me a box of Kleenex and let me cry. Sometimes a good cry helps.

Therapy was pretty much the only productive thing I’ve done all day. The other things I have done is blog, color, read and watched TedTalks. Blogging helps me process shit while coloring helps me express emotions. Reading and watching TedTalks help me get out of my head. Maybe I’ll talk about the TedTalks later.

Thank you for reading. Have a good weekend everyone. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!

 

Therapy & Job Opportunities

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today, I had therapy with Gilbert. We discussed how I have been improving with my mental health. He agrees that things are going well and that he see’s that I’ve been working like hell to get back to my baseline. We also discussed how we both think that it would be wise for me to go back to work.

Which leads me to my next topic of job opportunities. I applied to multiple jobs and had an interview yesterday and have three next week. I’m looking forward to the interviews next week. One is at my previous employer and will be interviewing for two jobs at the same time. The other job interview is going to be at an agency that is pro peer. Which is really good.

Thank you for reading my blog. Have a great evening everyone. Peace Out, World!!

Waking Up Depressed

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up depressed this morning. Waking up depressed just has me being acutely aware of what I need to do to be actively acting in my recovery.

Knowing that waking up depressed can put me in a tailspin, I have to be aware on what I need to do to not end up in a tailspin. So I started with my usual morning routine by having some tea and reading the news paper. I then made myself some breakfast. I made myself some French toast and scrambled eggs. I enjoyed my breakfast.

After enjoying my breakfast I decided to do some art. I mainly colored and collaging. Coloring helps me a great deal. As mention I did some collaging. I ended collaging three poems. I love when I am able to be creative like that.

Collaging reminded me that reading helps as well. So I read a few chapters in my book. I really am enjoying the book. A book that has helped me get out of my head.

Speaking of get out, I need to get going. I have to get ready as I have therapy today. Have a great day everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Using Skills To Help Me Through

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!! I’m just getting home from a busy afternoon and evening. I first went and saw my therapist, Gilbert. I am slowly starting to trust him. We discussed how things are changing once again with my treatment team and I’m not sure if I’m okay with it but its something I’ll have to get use to.

We also discussed my grandma and how she is in the hospital. She is in the hospital due to Parkinson’s related health issues. She will be going into hospice care within the next few months and my dad isn’t taking it all that well. My dad is a mama’s boy. Its difficult knowing that my grandma may not make it to the end of 2018.

I should get going and eat dinner. I hope everyone has a wonderful work week. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I sit here starting this post, I realize that I forgot to do my weekly check-in yesterday. I’m disapointed that I didn’t do it like I said I would however I’ve also been blogging more on the regular basis that you a well aware of what my week was like. So my plans for the week are as follows:

Sunday:

  • Blog which is obvious as this is my third post of the day. I also plan to blog my poem for the intro to poetry course later on today.
  • Art. I plan on doing some painting. I plan on painting something for my case manager.
  • Read. Pretty self explanitory.
  • Clean my apartment
  • Workbook

Monday:

  • Blog. This is the day where not only will posting my poem for the intro to poetry course but start the weekly fictional writing prompt. I’ll be doing the writing prompt every Monday.
  • Attend Knitting Group
  • Attend Art Group
  • See my case manager
  • See temporary therapist, Gilbert
  • Read
  • Workbook

Tuesday:

  • Phone Interview
  • Read
  • Clean apartment
  • Art
  • Blog
  • Workbook

Wednesday:

  • Go to clubhouse
  • See temporary therapist, Gilbert
  • Art
  • Read
  • Clean apartment
  • Blog
  • Workbook

Thursday:

  • Go to social security office
  • Pay bills
  • Clean apartment
  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbook
  • Read

Friday:

  • See temperary therapist, Gilbert
  • Blog. This particular post will be Fun Facts Friday
  • Art
  • Clean Apartment
  • Read
  • Workbook

Saturday:

  • Blog; Weekly check-in
  • Volunteer
  • Read
  • Workbook
  • Art

Thank you for reading my long boring post about my week to come. As you can tell I’m cleaning my apartment a lot. Its because its a disaster area. I tend to not keep up household chores when my depression gets bad. I plan on spening about 15 minutes a day to clean so I don’t get overwhelmed.

Thank you again for reading my blog. Its apreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Needing Consistency W/My Mental Health Treatment Team

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I’m a little sad as I’m having yet another change in my treatment team. It involves one of my DBT Group leaders is leaving. She was one of the biggest supports I had right after Diana left suddenly due to a life threatening illness. So it came to a shock to me when the female group leader said she was leaving. I am feeling sad. This makes the fourteenth change in my treatment team in as many months. As much as I am sad I know this group leader is going to make sure I have a goodbye with her.

Even though she is not a clinician who works with me a good portion of the time she has worked with me a great deal. That is why she is wanting to have a half an hour goodbye session with her. She say and I quote “You deserve goodbye from me. We have always had a good rapport and you deserve to have a goodbye and proper goodbye” unquote. I’m glad I’m having a goodbye with her.

I just want to have some consistency in my treatment team and not have so many changes in as many months. Realizing I was getting upset with the lack of consistency I decided to do a mindfulness exercise using the Calm app as I was on the bus home. After the mindfulness exercise I listened to music. So more or I used my DBT skills to help me not be so upset and/or angry with the inconsistency in my mental health treatment which helped reduced the urges to self-harm. So I am proud of myself for reducing my anger and self harm urges by using skills.

Thank you for reading about my not so good news. I am truly proud of myself for using my DBT skills. Peace Out, World!!!

Things I’m Learning From The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook; Chapter 1

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been a long day for me. I started of the day having breakfast at place called Biscuit Bitch with former colleagues who I have become close friends with. Food and friends is always a good thing even if its at 7:30 in the morning. I, then went to Day Treatment today and saw my temporary therapist Gilbert. Todays session with Gilbert was more difficult than it usually is. I might talk about the session in a later post.

If you been reading my blogging regularly as of lately, you will know that I started a workbook called The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook by Anneliese Singh. I’m going to make every effort to tell you what I have learned after each chapter.

CHAPTER 1; GETTING REAL: DEFINING YOUR LGBTQ SELF IN A WOLD THAT DEMANDS COMFORMITY:

As the title of the chapter states, it has you define your LGBTQ self in the world around us. The chapter starts off asking how one identifies their sexual orientation and their gender identity. As it continues it starts asking about what you’re comfortable with sharing. This is the part where it started getting challenging for me as I think it depends on the situation I may be in.

Another part of chapter one that was difficult was searching within myself about affirmations I have toward myself and not just as an LGBTQ individual. This was difficult because I have very low self esteem and some if it is because of my gender identity and sexual orientation and some of it is not. Affirmations is something I need to work on and Gilbert agrees. He wants me to acknowledge that I have great affirmations and say them out loud.

Affirmations which I will say eventually. Maybe even after the end of this post. I should go and eat. Peace Out, World!!!

Slightly Struggling in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am struggling at the moment. I’m struggling with self harm urges. I WILL NOT ACT ON MY URGES TO SELF HARM!!! (I AM NOT SUICIDAL!!!) I am struggling because of my Depression and PTSD symptoms. Symptoms I talked to Gilbert about in my session with him today. I’m starting to trust him which is a major deal since he identifies as male. I usually have trouble trusting men especially in the therapeutic relationship.

Gilbert and myself came up with a safety plan. One of the items on the safety plan is blogging. Blogging is quite helpful for me. It helps me get out of my own head.

Gets me out of my head enough to focus on art work. I’m going be focusing on coloring today since I got a new coloring book today. I also have colored pencils I haven’t used yet due to waiting for this coloring book.

Coloring helps me focus to where I will be able to read. I’ll most likely  be reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I’m really loving the book. If you are a Sci Fi and/or Fantasy genre fan I highly recommend it.

Now that I’ve told you my safety plan, I’m going to go and eat. I want to reassure you that; I’M NOT SUICIDAL & WON’T ACT ON MY URGES TO SELF HARM. I hope everyone has a good evening and good week. Peace Out, World.

Therapy, Education, Books, Religion & Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I saw my temporary therapist today. We discussed a melt down I had earlier today in day treatment at my request. My therapist and I talked about what I could have done differently. We came up with some wonderful ideas collectively and I am happy with what we came up with.

My therapist and I also discussed me going back to school and how it could affect my disability checks. To find out it wont affect it all. He will help me fill out the proper paper work to get money such as grants and/or scholarships. I’ll start out taking one class at a time to see how things go. I plan to go to a local community college that offers both two and four year degrees. I plan on getting an Associates of Applied Science degree in Social and Human Services and then transfer to their (the community college) Bachelor’s of Applied Science degree in Applied Behavior Science. My therapist likes the idea on how I am setting small goals with my education to ultimately reach my bigger educational goals. I am hoping that one day to get my Masters in Social Work from either the University of Washington (UW) or Smith College.

Another topic my therapist and discussed was my blog and blogging. We talked about giving him pseudo name. My therapist “doesn’t care” if I use his real name however out of respect for his former, current (counting me) and future clients I am choosing to give him a pseudo name. He “respects” my choice in giving him a pseudo name. I am going to give him the pseudo name of Gilbert. The name Gilbert in the name of one of my favorite characters in one of my favorite books; Anne of Green Gables. Yes, Gilbert is being named after the character, Gilbert Blythe of Anne of Green Gables. So, when the name Gilbert comes up in any of my post, I am talking about my temporary therapist.

Changing the topic drastically, I am switching it to religion. Earlier this evening I met with the Mormon missionaries. In fact the missionaries I met with were female which is unusual but not all that uncommon especially in a major metropolitan area. We discussed Joseph Smith and all that jazz regarding the Mormon faith. I was upfront with two young ladies that I most likely wont join their church but might visit it on occasion. They were “thrilled” that I was “being honest” with them about that.

Now switching back to the topic of recovery. It appears that my recovery is starting get back on track. I am saying this because I finally have hope back and I am being future oriented. Both are very good signs in recovery.

Speaking of recovery part of mine is making sure I eat on the regular basis and I am realizing I haven’t had dinner yet. That means I’m going to end this post and get some food. Thank you for reading. It’s very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It’s officially Sunday in my neck of the woods. Normally, I do my weekly check-in on Saturdays however its not even an twenty minutes into Sunday in my part of the world.

On that note, lets get on with my weekly check-in. My week has been pretty uneventful. I attended my appointments and groups like usual. The major thing that I’ve been dealing with this week is that Friday was the one month anniversary of me loosing therapy services, while yesterday (Saturday) was an anniversary of a traumatic event.

With the two not so good anniversaries happening, didn’t stop me from starting on or working on a newsletter submission. The newsletter submission I am working on is for the newsletter of the clubhouse I am apart of.  The article I’m writing is about the importance of respecting peoples pronouns and gender identity. Part of the reason I chose to write about respecting peoples pronouns and gender identity is because I’ve been dealing with being disrespected with how I personally identify and how it is affecting my mental health and my recovery. I of course wont point out the individuals doing this nor say that it’s affecting my mental health or recovery. I’m doing to empower myself and others as well.

Thank you for reading my blog. It’s greatly appreciated. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World.