Tag Archives: Recovery

How I became Gerties Motherly Figure

Posted on by mamabearraine

Gertie has an endearing way about them that has one’s heart accept them as who they are even at their most challenging times. On that note, I quickly realized what Gertie needed the most in their life was a motherly figure. A motherly figure so desperately needed when they were growing up and still craves as an adult even seventeen years later after I met them.

Gertie has the sweetest heart that has a hint of childlikeness to it. This most likely why they are so enduring. I chose to become their mother figure after we start becoming friends realizing that’s all they ever wanted in their life. I think with me stepping up to the mother figure role in Gerties role it helped them with continuing their recovery a process. A process that Gertie as worked long and hard for. Yes, they have had their ups and downs in recovery however with my help and the help of many others Gertie has thrived. Thrived in a way that a great deal of others never thought possible.

It is because of Gertie’s resiliency I have stuck by them and be a motherly figure to them. A figure that neither one of us expected would happen till it happened. A figure that both of us have cherished ever since.

Feeling Slightly Better

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m feeling slightly better than my last post. I owe it to taking a shower, eating and DBT skills. Skills that have helped me a lot the last fourteen and a half years.

One of the things I did after my shower was do some collaging. A collaged a couple of poems. So, I combined art and poetry into one skill or at least this time around. I love being able to combine my skills into one as it is quite helpful.

Another thing I did was read. I read the rest of the news paper that I didn’t finish reading this morning. I also read a little bit of the book that is taking me a long while to read. I am enjoying it though.

I did all these skill while listening to music. Music helps a great deal. I think after I am done blogging, I’m going to play the flute.

I hope everyone has a great night. Peace Out, World!!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Posted on by Gertie

Things I’ve Learned in My Recovery…

  • I’m resilient.
  • I’m stronger than I think I am.
  • There will be bumps in the road.
  • Its okay to do self care.
  • I don’t have to be perfect.
  • When life gives you lemons eat them (or make lemonade), just don’t throw them.
  • Life is worth living even when its painful.
  • The pain won’t last even though it feels like it.
  • Its okay to hit a pillow or stuffed animal but not a brick wall.
  • Giving up is not an option.
  • Recovery is more fun.
  • I always have a choice.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: Why I Write

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I write for a multiple reasons. Reasons, I had planned to write about and reasons that were unexpected.

Let’s start by why I started my blog. I started my blog for two main reasons. The first reason was to help educate people who don’t have lived experience that folks like myself who do have lived experience can live a productive life. It may not be productive in the eyes of a “normal” person but productive from my perspective.

The second reason I started blogging was to give those who struggle with a mental health condition/challenge that there is hope in choosing to live in active recovery whatever that may look like to the individual reading. Yes, I’ve shared by heartbreak and struggles here but I’ve gotten up and wiped myself off and hope that what I share give those who have lived experience some sort of hope.

There were some unexpected reasons I blog. The first happens to be advocacy. I didn’t realize that I could advocate here on my blog. Advocacy is something I love to do and am proud that I am able to do it on my blog. The other unexpected reason I write is that I have found that it helps me with my own recovery. My recovery means the world to me.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate all of you because if it wasn’t for you the reader I would not be writing on this blog. Thanks, again. Peace Out, World!!!

The End of the Road

Posted on by Gertie

Think back to a moment where you’ve come to the end of the road with something important in your life—a relationship with a lover; moving out of your childhood home; graduation from school; etc. Write a scene wrapped around that moment, describing how you felt (good and bad) and how you closed the door on that chapter in your life.

This writing prompt is difficult as I can come up with a lot of end of road stories that have influenced me to where I am at in the moment in time. If it wasn’t for end of road experiences I wouldn’t be in recovery. In recovery with an eating disorder or mental health. I wouldn’t be working on my recovery with self-harm.

Its the end of the road experiences that I have experienced has been what Oprah called Awe-Ha moments. Moments that have changed my life and hope that the experiences I have had can help change the lives of others so they can go on and help others themselves.

Thinking about the end of the road not only has me thinking about my recovery but my grandma and her currently being in home hospice care. For her its the end of the road yet she still has her sense of humor. The same sense of humor that I have to help me through her dying. I hope as I deal with my grandma dying I hope I can laugh at life like she has.

Ugh, I Just Want to Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am still wide awake. I’m not sure exactly why I am not able to sleep but it’s starting to get a little annoying. Yes, maybe it’s because I have “treatment resistant insomnia” but I think something is bothering me. I’m not sure what but something is.

Yes, I realize it could be my grandma and dealing with her being at deaths door because she is in hospice care. Dealing with my grandma being in hospice is not easy yet I honestly don’t think it’s the reason I am unable to sleep.

I just wish I knew why I couldn’t sleep because if I did then maybe I could sleep. It’s something that I need to be able to work on my recovery. Hell, it not only helps with my recovery be it helps with staying physically healthy.

Thank you for reading. It’s appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! This week has been one of hope and insight as well as I think some growth. My therapist says he has seen a lot of growth in me and he owes it to the hope and the insight I have.

As many of you know I had two job interviews this week. Interviews that went extremely well. One went so well, that I am already on the short list and they weren’t even done interviewing yet.

My grandma went into hospice care this past week and it was extremely difficult yet she is doing quite well. She is still funny as hell.

I also volunteered at the Warm Line tonight. It’s always nice to help others and see my fellow volunteers. It was a difficult night because I ended up dealing with two callers who were suicidal. I got through it and now I’m at home relaxing. I left early due to the suicide calls and am doing good self-care.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

500th Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! This is my 500th Post!!! A post that wouldn’t have happened without you my reader. Its hard to believe that as of this post I’ve written 500 post.

Today has been a good day thus far. A nice relaxing day. I’ve been watching That 70’s Show which absolutely hilarious. For me humor works as both as preventive skill and a crisis coping skill. Right now its just for pure enjoyment.

I just wanted to thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated. Without you I would not have an active blog. Thank you!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Sunny In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Moring, World!!! Thankfully, I was able go back to sleep after my last post. The best part about waking up this time around is that it’s sunny outside and I was able to see a bald eagle fly around my window for about ten minutes. I have to say that this is going to be one of my favorite moments of the day and the weekend.

I think I’m going to paint the eagle I saw outside. I paint when I want to express my emotions. Right now I feel content with how things are going. Yes, life may not be where I want it at the moment however I’ll take feeling content with life any day.

I hope everyone has a great day. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Happy Friday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’m watching the Opening Ceremonies for the Winter Olympics. I love the fact that the Olympics bring the world together. Its the one sporting event the world can enjoy together.

I saw Gilbert today for therapy. We discussed the progress I am having. He feels that with me seeing him two to three times a week has been helpful and it has helped. I just wish my official therapy services weren’t pulled from my care. Gilbert is attempting to his best for me to gain my trust with him and everyone else on my treatment team and it appears to be helping from my end of things.

I want to get going to continue watching the Olympics. Have a wonderful weekend. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!