Monday Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! Brrr, its cold outside. I finally got some sleep last night. Much needed sleep. I am grateful for the sleep I got last night.

I started this morning out with reading the news paper and drinking some tea. Nothing really happy in the news except the Olympics and the Funnies. Another good thing in the news is Baseball. Spring training is going be starting soon. Another good news story is that a local urban loop trail reopens and I am so looking forward to the reopening.

It is a wee bit chilly here in Seattle. It is currently 28 degrees Fahrenheit. For Seattle that is really cold. I am not a big fan of the cold but at least it is sunny outside.

Thank you for reading. I hope to blog more later on today. Peace Out, World!!

 

Snowy Sunday in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! As I stated in an earlier post, its snowing in Seattle. It’s not snowing now but there is snow on the ground. It made this morning that much more special with Junior. Junior worked for 48hours straight as he is firefighter and snow just helped with the romantic part of the morning.

When he got off from work he came over to my place with breakfast ready to eat. I made us French toast, scrambled eggs and chocolate milk. After breakfast we cuddled up to watch a movie. A movie that we didn’t watch as we ended up making love. We had some serious and enjoyable sex for roughly two hours. Something we both needed. That contact was helpful for the both of us.

Something the Junior and I are doing later on today is spending time with my family. This is going to be the first time my family has spent time with each after my grandma’s death. We are going to go out to eat however I am not sure where yet.

I think I am going to get going as I want to spend more time with Junior. I’m really needing some cuddle time with him. He is an amazing man. Thank you for reading. It’s appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Sleepless in Snowy Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I am still sleepless in Seattle. On the plus note I get to see the snow falling without worrying about needing to go out into it. Or at least not to later on. It is three o’clock in the morning and I don’t have to go out into till eleven o’clock in the morning when I go spend time with family. Snow in Seattle doesn’t happen all to often. We did have a White Christmas which is always a good thing. I am not a big fan of snow but I can’t deny that it’s not pretty because it is beautiful especially when you don’t have to go out into it.

Something I have been doing besides watching the snow fall is reading. I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books. I love being able to curl up with a few comic books, drinking hot chocolate on a cold winters morning. Yes, it’s the middle of the night morning but it’s still morning.

Another thing I have been doing is doing a Wonder Woman jigsaw puzzle. I love puzzles. this puzzle is one thousand pieces and quite challenging. Maybe when I finish with it, I will take a picture of it and post it.

I should get going and try to sleep. Have a great day everyone Peace Out, World!!!

 

Friday Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! It is seven fifteen  in morning in my corner of the world. I didn’t get much sleep last night because two of my neighbors were arguing last night. When they weren’t arguing they were pounding on each other’s doors and just making it miserable for the rest of us who live on my floor.

I personally think I would have gotten more sleep if I my neighbors weren’t being jerks to each other. In fact, my neighbors yelling at each other severely triggered my PTSD. Almost severely enough to where it nearly put me into crisis mode.

Thankfully, I was able to prevent crisis mode by using my DBT Skills. If it weren’t for my skills I don’t know what I would be doing. I put on my headphones and listened to music to drown out my neighbors screaming while I read. Both of these skills helped me most of the night and didn’t put me into crisis mode.

Another skill that helps me is reading the news paper while drinking some hot tea. Like every day, there was only bad news. Apparently, there is suppose to be a storm coming to Seattle. Not sure if it’s going to happen as it appears that anytime a storm is expected it never happens.

Thank you for reading. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

Ramblings About The Day & Friends

Good Evening, World!!! Today, was a sunny, crisp, cold day in Seattle. Extremely beautiful out yet way too cold for my liking however it’s always nice when it’s sunny outside this time of year.

I spent some of the day with a close friend. We had lunch and went rollerblading around a local lake at a park. It was nice spending time with a friend despite the both of us being cold at the end of rollerblading. I’m just happy that I have friends who are there for me through the good, the bad and the ugly. Many people would have just walked a way or distanced themselves when the symptoms of my mental health conditions reared their ugly head yet I have friends that don’t do that. I am forever grateful for those friends.

On that note, we then have those “friends” who are more like acquaintances and sometimes not even that. An example of such a friend happened today as well. I get a call from a local community mental health agency saying a particular person is using me as a professional and personal reference for a job. The thing about this is, is that this individual never even asked me if I would be a reference for them. I never really worked with this person and have only attended peer specialist/counseling related trainings with them as well never really staying in touch with them outside of trainings unless it involved other training. In reality I couldn’t be a reference for this person. I informed the person on the other end of the phone that I couldn’t give a reference of any kind as I don’t know the individual well enough and explained to them on how know the person we were discussing. The person on the other end of the phone was “grateful” for my “honesty” and that I wasn’t the only one “surprised” by being a reference. I realize that me informing the potential employer about this person that I really don’t them could cost them this particular job in their chosen career however it could look bad on me if the person didn’t work out especially if I ever want to work at this particular mental health agency. I know that sounds selfish but if I don’t know the person to give any type of reference, I don’t want to look bad.

Now on to another form of friendship. This more of romantic relationship. Right now as I write this post, Junior, is making dinner for the both of us. He is making homemade mac & cheese, ham, corn, and homemade peach cobbler. I love Junior and the support he has given me. He is an amazing person as well as an amazing partner.

Thank you for reading about my ramblings of the day. I hope you have a good rest of your evening. Peace Out!!!

It’s Beginning To Feel Like Summer

It’s beginning to feel like summer and I’m loving it. The weather hasn’t necessarily been the best in my neck of the woods so when its finally nice out, I take advantage of the weather. Its suppose to be in the mid-eighties to high-eighties today. Tomorrow it’s suppose to hit 95 degrees and a lot of the “locals” aren’t exactly happy about it. Ninety-five degrees is a wee bit “hot” for them. I, of course love the hot weather due to growing up in California.

The one thing I’ve learned from growing up in California is to stay hydrated and to slather yourself in sun block. I say this because tomorrow I will be volunteering at the Pride Parade helping out with crowd control. As much as I am looking forward to helping out, it’s causing some anxiety. I’m not sure why it’s causing anxiety but it is. I, however won’t let anxiety get in the way from allowing me to enjoy the events of Pride weekend.

One of the things, I am doing this weekend to celebrate pride besides volunteering at the Pride Parade is attending a picnic with friends and lots of food. In fact I am attending the picnic today. I always look forward to enjoying food with my friends. Friends who love me and care about me no matter what. Friends who accept me as me.

I need to get going as I need to finish one of the dishes, I am taking to the picnic. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. Happy Pride and Peace Out!!!

 

Looking Forward To Volunteering Today!!

     It’s Wednesday and that means I go to my volunteer job today. I usually don’t go to my volunteer job when I am vacation from my paid job however I have decided to go today even though I am on vacation. The main reason why I am going is because I miss it if I don’t go. I really enjoy my volunteer job. The employees of the homeless shelter I volunteer at are very appreciative of how much help I am to them and the clients. I don’t think they really know how much volunteering at the homeless shelter actually helps me. I know that last sentence sounds selfish and conceded however volunteering actually helps me in my recovery process. Another reason why I am going today is that my depression is slightly acting up. I realized this yesterday while in session with my therapist. Since my depression is acting up a little bit and it is raining (which doesn’t help my depression), I’ve decided to go to my volunteer job. It gives me something to do and get out of my own head. This is why I say it helps me with my recovery process.

     Well, I better get going. I need to finish getting ready for my volunteer job. I hope to blog again this evening. I’ve come to realize that this blogging thing is helping me in my recovery process more than I thought it would. In fact I didn’t realize that it would actually help me in my recovery process. I started this blog to help those who struggle with mental illness as well as to educate those who don’t struggle with a mental illness. In all reality I don’t think I’m doing much helping or educating. I only have 11 followers. I wish I knew how to reach more people with the blog. Oh well.

     I really need to get going. Like I said earlier I need to finish getting ready for my much loved volunteer job. Have a good Wednesday everyone. Peace out.

Looking Forward To Work This Afternoon

     Well, it is a beautiful Sunday morning and I have to work later on today. I’m not sure if I am wanting to go to work today because its so nice today. I will go to work because it gets me out of my own head. No matter had difficult or bad my shift may be I always have a sense of accomplishment at the end of my shift. The reason being is because I made it through another shift with out quitting because of the stress that comes with dealing with the public. Working at a grocery store is not always that easy but it something to do with my time. Even on my good days at work I feel a sense of accomplishment. Something I am looking forward is my lunch because I will be having left overs from dinner last night. Overall, I am looking forward going to work.

     I really enjoy being in mental health recovery. Being in recovery I am able to enjoy things a little more. I am able enjoy a good hard day at work no matter how difficult or easy it might be for the particular day. Being in recovery is more fun. I realize that people are more likely to want to be around me if I am choosing to be in recovery even on my difficult days.

     I best be going. I need to get ready for work. I hope you all enjoy your day. Have a good Sunday and peace out.

Hmmm….Just A Saturday Evening Rambling

     Its another beautiful day in the neighborhood. My boyfriend is barbequing steaks as I am watching the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and Texas Ranger game. Right now its in between eighth and ninth innings and the Angels are up 5 to  2. I of course am rooting for the Angels since I am originally from Anaheim. I miss California. Tonight’s game happens to be in Texas.  

     Well, I worked earlier today. I actually had a good day a work today. I worked with one of my favorite checkers today. The checker I worked with today is like a second father to me. He has taken me under his wing. The cool thing about this particular co-worker is that he is very non-judgmental of me and my mental health issues. He can usually tell when things are acting up without me even having to tell him. When things are acting up he makes sure that I get my breaks because I usually don’t take my breaks. I take my lunches but not my breaks. Its always nice to have people that have your back. My schedule for this next week is okay. I only work 15 hours but I work Sunday which means I get Sunday pay. That’s a good thing. After my shift on Friday I will be on vacation again.  

     I will be going to see my little brother on my vacation. It just so happens his birthday happens that every year his birthday falls the same week/weekend of the local fair in his town. I will treat him to the fair like I always do when I happen to be around on his birthday. I love him so much. My boyfriend will be going as well. My boyfriend and brother get along great. I’m looking forward to going the rides, playing the rigged games and most importantly the fair food. Oh how I love fair food.

     The Angel vs. Ranger game is now over. The Angels won 5 to 2. I am proud of my Angels. Its a four game series and the have won the last 3 games against the Rangers and have one more game against them tomorrow.

     Now back on to my brother. I am looking forward to seeing him and spending time with him. Its hard to believe that he is going to be 24 years old. I am proud of him and everything that he is accomplishing in his life.

     As I have told you in earlier blog entries I am reading a psychology text book to better myself as well as to educate myself. I figure since I cant afford to go to college at the moment I might as well as buy and read text books from a used book store. If you know where and when to buy a text book you can get them pretty cheap. In fact you can usually get them under $20. I love educating myself. I love it when I shock the hell out of people when I know what I’m talking about especially when its on a subject that you have to go “to school for.” People assume when they look at me that I don’t know what I am talking about but they soon realize that when I know something I know something.

    Well, my boyfriend is almost done with the steaks and I should get going. I am love meat. I love food. I need to help get the rest of the food out and on the table. My boyfriend and I are going to eat on his patio because its another beautiful day out. I love hot weather like today.

     I best be going. Have a good rest of your Saturday evening everyone. I hope you have a good weekend. Peace out and have fun.

 

Just Another Thursday

     Well, its Thursday evening and its another beautiful day. Life is going fairly well despite my PTSD symptoms acting up still. As much as I don’t like dealing with my symptoms, I do have to say the nice warm and sunny helps a great deal with dealing with them. I love it when it gets warm outside.

     As many of you know who follow my blog or read it on the regular basis, Thursdays are my Sundays. I go back to work tomorrow. I don’t mind my job however I’m getting frustrated that I’m still in the same position and the same employer. Only time I get a raise is when minimum wage goes. I make 10 cents about minimum wage. You would think that if someone has been employed someplace for 9 years that they would get a pay raise especially since I train the other courtesy clerks (baggers). I bag groceries at a grocery store and feel like I should be doing something more with my life. I am 30something and feel like I’ve accomplished nothing with my life. In reality I have accomplished a lot. I’ve maintained employment with my current employer for 9 years. I no longer meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I also have the received certification as a peer counselor.

     Speaking of peer counseling, I’m still seeking a job as a peer. It seems that at this point in time that there are no positions at this time or the ones out there require at least a year of paid experience. How am I suppose to get paid experience when I’m not getting a job in the field. You would think volunteer experience would be enough. Oh well. I’m sure the right peer job is out there for me somewhere.

     Enough about me being frustrated with not being employed in job I desire. Something I’ve been doing to help with my PTSD symptoms is watching baseball on television. I love baseball. Unfortunately, the baseball team I was rooting for lost. That’s okay because it ultimately helps out my favorite baseball team (The Angels).

     Speaking of baseball and my favorite baseball team I watch the Disney movie, Angels In The Outfield. Its not only a cute movie but an adorable movie as well. I enjoy Disney movies. They tend to have a good moral to the story (most of the time).

     I also talked to my little brother today. He is doing great. He is so funny. I try to talk to him at least twice a week. He is the reason why I chose to start the recovery process as well as stay in recovery from mental illness. I want him to know anything is possible.

     I don’t have much to discuss at the moment. That means I will end this blog entry for now. I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have a good rest of your Thursday evening. Peace out.