Tag Archives: Work

Anxiety & Fear Over My Dad

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am not going to work tonight because my dad is in the hospital. Sadly, he was moved to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), early this morning because he has fluid on the lungs and maybe around the heart. Even though the emergency surgery went well, the fluid around the lungs is never a good thing especially with my dads history of pneumonia. It was five years ago at this time of year where he was give a very slim chance of living due to his pneumonia but thankfully he is a live. I just wish his health was better at the moment. At least he is not on life support and wanting to go home.

Even though I am not sitting at the hospital with my dad at the moment, I just wanted to make sure that if health were to take the turn for the worst that I am able to have the availability to get to the hospital. That is part of the reason why I chose to get someone to cover my shift at work tonight. I am grateful that I was able to have a colleague cover my shift.

Due to my dad’s health and him being in the ICU my anxiety is up and my fear of him being put a ventilator is extremely high at the moment. The fear and anxiety I am having, my cat, Lil Gertie, is picking up on. When I have been home she as been by my side or on my chest to comfort me.  Being comforted by my cat has been a great help to me and has lessened my anxiety and fear.

Not only is my cat, Lil Gertie, comforting me but I am having friends checking in on me. Having friends checking in on me is always a good thing. In fact a friend of mine even brought me lunch when I was at the hospital visiting my dad. It is great that I have friends that check up on me.

My family has be pulling together in regards to my dad’s health. My grandpa and two uncles who are my dad’s dad and two brothers have been taking turns at the hospital. My grandpa and two uncles have been a great support. They are just as worried about my dad as I am. Having family support and the support of my friends has been great for me.

I wish I was able to get some sleep today but sadly I have not been able to nap. I didn’t sleep well last night due to insomnia and I think I have been unable to nap today due to my dad’s health and him being in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at the hospital. I think I am going to go to bed early tonight as I need some sleep. Sleep is crucial to one health and I don’t want to get sick especially since my dad is ill.

I do not much more to say. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Morning Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I hope everyone is having a good Friday. My cat woke me up this morning my gently nudging my arm with her head. I knew that she wanted both attention and food with the gentle nudges. So, I of course gave her both. Lil Gertie was appreciative of both. Right now she is laying on my chest as I am writing this post on my laptop. Yes it is slightly challenging but I am grateful for Lil Gertie laying on my chest as it is helping me focus on my breath which is helping my anxiety.

I want to update you on my dad. He is doing as well as expected after having emergency surgery on Wednesday afternoon. He sadly is still in pain which is to be expected but I wish he wasn’t in pain. On a good note in regards to my dad is that he is using his sense of humor. My dad using his sense of humor is a good thing because it means he is doing better.

My friends and fellow peer counselors/specialist having been checking up on how I have been doing since I had to leave the peer conference early due to the fact my dad had emergency surgery. Having awesome friends checking up on how both myself and dad are doing is a great feeling. Knowing that I have friends checking up on me is just another reminder that people do care about me. I am grateful for my friends and that they check up on me.

Now lets discuss work. I am taking Saturday off because I wasn’t sure how serious the situation with my dad was going to be so I was able to get someone to cover my shift. I am grateful that I have amazing colleagues willing to step up to the plate when a family emergency arises.

Since I am now on the topic of work, I want to share with you something that I think is cool that happened at the peer conferences. On Tuesday, shortly after finding out about my dad, I was sitting in the hospitality room as part of my volunteer duties and starting talking with another peer. A peer who works for an agency I applied for a job at. To find out this peer advocated for this position and has been able to look at the resumes while her boss was out of the office on a honeymoon. This peer informed me that she is not apart of the interview or hiring process but will able to put some input in, in regards to the resumes she discusses with her supervisor. The cool thing about this is that this peer looked at my name tag and said she remembers seeing my resume and was “impressed” with it. She also said if it were up to her, that I would be on the “short list.” The best part about attending peer conferences or any other type of conferences in the mental health field is the networking. I am grateful that I was able to network with a lot of peers during this conference but I want to thank the universe for the interaction I had with the peer I just told you about because, there is a chance that I could at least get an interview. I hope to inform you more about what the job is all about in a later post but I think it will be a good fit for me. Especially since it is a part time position and that it involves working a drop in center which I have experience in. I think this could help my career if I get the job. This is one of the many reasons I love going to conferences is because of the networking.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday. I also hope everyone has a great weekend and for those who live in the United States I hope you have a great three day weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Early Saturday Morning Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is five thirty eight in the morning on a Saturday and you are most likely thinking why I am up before the butt crack of dawn. I am up before the butt crack of dawn  because I work tonight, Saturday, a twelve and a half hour shift. Thankfully, it is only one shift a week even though I am still considered on call staff but have it slightly easier advantage than other on calls due to the fact is I am able to say no to taking other shifts than the two other new on calls due to having one regular shift a week. It was actually nice to know that I am now not the only on-call and that I have slightly more rights to say no to taking on shift due to the fact I work every Saturday. It is still preferred that I do take one on call shift once every two months. Specifically my boss wants me to focus on Saturdays and emergency call outs such as a family emergency, someone being sick and stuff like that. Of course every on-call is required do that however I might still be able to to be asked to cover someone’s shift if they are on vocation or “spontaneously moving” or taking a mental health day. I just don’t have to “feel obligated” to do so. I am liking the regular shift despite find out that I am still on-call but it looks good on the resume. I did apply for a peer position job that I think that would be a good fit for me and applied for it both Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. I haven’t received a call back and I am not expecting one due not being employed as a peer for two years now and that I didn’t have a job for a year and half which is why I am still at my current job. It is easier to get your resume to be looked at my a human if you have work and/or volunteering. I do both which is a good. thing for the resume.

I have been awake all night due to the fact I have to work tonight (Saturday) and have to sleep during the day. I am not a big fan of sleeping during the day or working twelve and a half hour night shift but at least it is a job. So as my Saturday goes, I will be sleep most of the day. Sleep I could have done last night but I want to go to work well rest. Even if I wasn’t working tonight I don’t think I could have slept due to my stupid insomnia so lets hope I can sleep during the day and not have my insomnia involved.

I pretty much listened t music most of the night music that would be helpful since I decided to be creative tonight by doing various types of art. Mainly coloring and painting with limited collaging due to the lack of magazines and newspapers. I put on my grunge rock play list that has  some many various musicians that it would take too long to post who was all on my music playlist. My grunge music play list did help my with my creativity in regards to my art work. My coloring pages are coming out nicely despite it taking longer than expected. My painting slowly but surely becoming a picture that I am going to be happy with.

As far as my cat goes, she has been much appreciated that I have been up and awake during her waking hours. Lil Gertie, my cat sure likes the idea that I play with her more at night than during the day but she does play with me during the day. Lil Gertie is jut more active at night than during the day. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much I don’t know what life would be like without her. I hope she lives a long life as she is only seven years old.

I do not have much more to say as I am getting tired and most likely need to get to bed so I can sleep during the day on what is suppose to be a beautiful Saturday. I might not be able to enjoy the beautiful weather but I am okay with that as I work an over night shift at a homeless shelter. I am grateful for my job and really need to go so I can get some sleep. Lets hope my insomnia doesn’t continue or I will be cranky bucket at work. I would like to thank you for the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you so much for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday and awesome weekend. You my readers a blessing to me and greatly appreciate each one of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Get off work at 8:30 in the morning.
  • Get home from work and play with my cat, Lil Gertie.
  • Mindfulness
  • Take a nap.
  • Go to lunch with friends.
  • Do homework for writing class, DBT group and my therapist.
  • Workbooks
  • Color

Monday

  • Mindfulness
  • Go to the Department of Social and Human Services (DSHS).
  • Workbook
  • Do homework for therapy, DBT group and writing class
  • Color

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbooks
  • Attend appointment with my therapist
  • Attend appointment with employment specialist
  • Work on homework for writing class and DBT group.
  • Color

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbook
  • Writing class
  • Dinner with a friend
  • Color
  • Homework for DBT Group and writing class. (We always have homework in DBT and was told we will have homework in writing class as well.)

Thursday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbook
  • Color
  • DBT Group
  • Homework for DBT group and writing class

Friday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbook
  • Homework for DBT group and writing class
  • Self care day type of day

Saturday

  • Sleep all day, during “normal” waking hours due to working nights.
  • Mindfulness
  • Work

SIDE NOTE: The writing class has nothing to do with groups through the mental health agency I am a client of. It is part of a program that allow people who are low income to experience different forms of art for free. The non profit is called Path With Art and is available to people who are low income living in Seattle and I think other parts of King County.

A Workplace Post Do To Boredom

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am currently at work and wish I was at home asleep. I am more tired that I usually am and slightly bored at the moment. I wish I was able to take a nap but sadly that is frowned upon at work. As much as I wish I could take a nap at least I have about three and a half hours left of my shift. I get off at 8:30 in the morning and it is currently 5:00 in the morning.

Sadly, I forgot to brings the coloring poster page with me to work so I could work on it. Thankfully, I did bring some coloring pages from a coloring book to work on. Coloring helps pass the time when things get boring and nothing much to do as much of what needs to be done is at the beginning of the shift as well as the end of the shift. I am grateful that I have the ability to color while at work as many places won’t allow you to do so if there is nothing to do.

Since there is not much to do till six in the morning, I most likely will be watching yet another television show or movie on Netflix or Hulu. Watching movies or television on a streaming site helps pass the time when things get a little slow and boring here at work.

When I get off work I plan on getting some soda as I have been craving it since I finished my last one a couple of hours into my work shift. I plan on enjoying the soda on my way home from work. When I arrived home, I plan on taking a nap. Hopefully a nice long nap that is longer than an hour and a half. I am hoping that the nap I plan on taking when I arrive home is about three hours but I am not holding my breath on the fact.

I do not have much more to say at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I am greatly appreciative that you read my blog. Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart that you read my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful day ahead. In fact I hope you have an awesome and peaceful Sunday ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time of week where I am going restart doing my weekly check ins on Saturdays. I will be doing my weekly check as part of my routine in regards to getting ready for work. As may or may not know my on call shelter counselor job is no longer an on call job for me as I now have a more permanent day I work. In fact I work Saturday nights from eight at night to eight thirty in morning on Sunday. I am not a huge fan work twelve and a hours at night but at least its a consistent schedule and not on call. Being on call was not helping my mental health symptoms and was about to quit my job if I didn’t start having a more consistent schedule.

As far a my as my week went it was pretty busy. On Monday and Tuesday I decided to deep clean my everything in my kitchen. Well everything but my fridge but I will do that next week. Most likely next Friday. It felt great that I deep cleaned my kitchen. I plan on deep cleaning the rest of my apartment as time goes on. I plan on making one day a week ordeal till I get my apartment clean like how I want it and not so cluttered.

Wednesday was a busy day for me. I saw my Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. We of course discussed meds and how I will be picking up my meds twice a week now since I tried attempting to die by suicide by taking a weeks worth of one of my meds about a month and a half ago. (No need to worry because I am currently not at risk of harming myself or attempting suicide.) We discussed how picking up my meds twice a week will be more helpful to me and my recovery for the time being. I am hopeful that I will be able to get my meds on the monthly basis again but my Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner and I both agree that this is the best option for me and my recovery right now. 

As far as Wednesday goes, it continues to get busier. I saw my therapist and we discussed a great deal of shit that was difficult yet extremely productive. We talked about DBT group and what we are working on in DBT. I discussed with him about the skill of Being Mindful of Current Emotion and how it is challenging for me. So we discussed how it was challenging it for me and my therapist gave me homework on this which I have mixed emotions about but realize that ultimately it will help me. My therapist and I also discussed me starting a new group the focuses on learning skill for PTSD called Trauma Symptom Management. I told him I would be willing to try it just as long as there is no processing of trauma as I am only ready to process my trauma with him, my therapist, and he understood.

Something else I did on Wednesday was start another Path With Art class that is a writing class. When I initially read it I thought “cool a writing class” and then reread a couple of my times and thought I misread the first time because I thought it was an acting class as was fearful that since I got accepted into the class that I would be out of my element. Turns out that I read it right the first time and that it is a writing class. Yes, I love to write but this writing class will slightly put me out of my comfort zone as we will focus on various types of characters and how they play a role in any story as well as focus on the type of scenes they tend to be in. So this particular art class in focused on writing and not art. I did want to do other classes but they would interfere with some of my group therapy.  I am so grateful and relieved that the character and scene writing class is not an acting class as I would be totally out of my element and completely out of my comfort zone. At least with it being a writing class and with the type of writing it is, I will only be slightly out of my comfort zone.

As far as Thursday went. The main thing I did was go to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group. We discuss Mindful of Current Emotion for the second week in a row as it appears that most of us in the group struggle with it from time to time. I am glad that I am working on this particular skill in both DBT group as well as in individual therapy as it is something that I need to work on or at least that’s the universes way of saying I need to work.

Friday, was pretty much my lazy day. I blogged three times and did some art work. In one of my blog post I even showed you what I started on. Yes, I did do some more coloring and hope to post the progress tomorrow after I get home and take a nap. Art work tends to help me a great deal just like writing does. As far as coloring goes, it helps me become mindful of the present moment.

As far as today (Saturday) is concerned, I slept through the entire day. I slept through it because I work a twelve and a half hour night shift. I am not a big fan of working twelve and a half hour shift especially at night but at least I have a job that gives me some meaning in my life as well as the structure I need for my recovery. No matter how long or even sometimes challenging work can be, I always seem to have a sense of accomplishment after I get of work.

Well, it appears I don’t have much more to write or check in about how my week went. I want to thank you for reading my long winded blog post. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog as it means a great deal to me that you do. I hope everyone enjoy what is left of Saturday. I also hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

An Early Sunday Morning Post At Work

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As, I write this blog post, I am at work. As I may or may not have told you, I work at a homeless shelter for young adults (18-25). My shifts are once a week at night for twelve hours. The first two and a half hours as well as the last two and a half hours are the hours that the busiest and the seven hours in between are the slowest as well as the most boring. As much as it is boring and slow, I find things to keep me occupied. Yes, I do have work things to do which I do however I also get to do other things like blog, color, reading, and go on Facebook. Right now, I am listening to music as write this blog post. I am listening to my childhood play list on Spotify.

This past week has been one of isolation due to the symptoms of my depression. With that being said, I did go to DBT group on Thursday and therapy on Friday. DBT group went well. We discuss a great deal especially on the skill of Mindful of Current Emotion. It was nice to have discussed this particularly because I tend to not want to be mindful of my emotions as they tend to be painful. As far as therapy on Friday it turned out to be a difficult yet extremely productive session. We discussed a couple of things that needed to talked about and through. My therapist even referred me to another group. A group that I did several years ago but willing to do it again as I am in agreement with my therapist that it could be helpful.

Something else I did this past week was order some coloring pages from Stuff2Color.com. I am looking forward to starting some new coloring project and hopefully have them finished by Christmas so I could give them as gifts to others. On the plus note about the coloring as it is helpful for me as it tends to be a type of mindfulness for me.

I am looking forward to later today so I can start reading a new book a colleague has lent me. It is about a story of a young person who is experiencing some hardships. So, of course it is something that is of interest of me. Reading someone else’s story is something that inspires me as well as it gives me hope.

Since, I do not have much more to write about, I am going to end this blog post. But before I go I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you so very much for reading my blog. I hope every has a wonderful day of them as well as an awesome week ahead. I know I plan on having a good week despite having some unwanted chores and errands ahead for the week. Peace Out, World!!!

A Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been a hot minute since I last blogged. I honestly don’t have any excuses even though I am sure I could find some to give you all but I won’t. I enjoy blogging and don’t know why I haven’t made more of an effort to do so.

Let’s start off with the good news involving work. As you may or may not know, I work at a young adult homeless shelter as a shelter counselor working twelve hour night shifts. I started out as an on call and now have a permanent day I work. Yes, that means I have a regular schedule even if its one night week. My regular shift is Saturday and this all started last week on Saturday, July 20th of 2019. I had reached out to my supervisor asking if he needed me to work one day a week on the regular basis since my other two teammates were working 36 to 48 hours a week and my supervisor said yes, if I was willing to work Saturdays. I informed him that I would love to take Saturdays as that was the day I was hoping for. My supervisor was and is very much appreciative of me advocating for myself to work one day a week. I am also grateful I did because from my understanding there a couple of possible new people coming on board and now they will be on calls and I don’t have to worry about when my next shift as well as I could have lost out on the opportunity I was given. I may not enjoy working a twelve hour night shift but am grateful that I am no longer “on-call” and now have a regular schedule.

As for the rest of today, it is going to remain being lazy. I am going to be spending much needed quality time with my cat, Lil Gertie. She appears to be enjoying the fact I am spending the day with her.

Today, I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy as I color. I am really enjoying learning about philosophy via podcast as I color. I find that as I color I tend to remember what I learned from the podcast about philosophy. My coloring projects are also coming along great.

Today, the weather in Seattle is absolutely beautiful. So, I decided that I am taking advantage of the awesome weather by taking multiple walks throughout the day. Taking walks helps me a great deal and I enjoy them immensely.

I don’t have much more to share. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective. Again thank you so very much for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of you Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Wednesday Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am struggling at the moment with writing my resignation letter for work. I am not sure why I am struggling with writing it as I have written one before. I am think I am struggling with it because I have some pretty awesome colleagues, a supervisor that is extremely supportive and I do enjoy what I do. The main reason I am resigning is because its an on-call position that is a twelve hour over night shift. I think if I had a regular schedule that the twelve hour night shift wouldn’t be so bad. The job schedule is affecting my mental health and that is not a good thing for me.

As much as I am dreading writing my resignation letter for work, I am looking forward to the free blogging courses I will be taking through WordPress. I signed up for three courses and have taken all three of them before. The courses I signed up for are Finding Everyday Inspiration, which is a twenty day course, Developing Your Eye 1 which is a ten day course and Intro to Poetry which is a ten day course. I am not sure if I am going do them consecutively or at the same time. I’m thinking I will do Finding Everyday Inspiration as I do one of the other courses at the same time and when finished with one I’ll do the other since two of them are ten days each. But at this point in time I am not exactly sure how I am going to work the courses.

I do not have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Happy Monday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is yet another Monday and I am wishing I had a job that had a “normal” work schedule but thankfully, I don’t have to work tonight. I do however have a two hour work meeting tomorrow (Tuesday) evening. I enjoy what I do for work, I just don’t like the fact it is an on call job working a twelve hour overnight shift. It is not conducive for someone like me who has “treatment resistant insomnia.” Sadly, I will be putting in my two weeks notice in the next week or two.

As far as writing my resignation letter, I am not going to do that today. I will be laying low and doing things to help me not isolate yet have some “me time” or some good self care time. First and fore most I need to take a much needed shower. The last time I took a shower was last Thursday morning so I am not smelling all that good. You know you smell bad when you can smell yourself and it doesn’t smell all that pretty. I am surprised my cat still wants to sit on my lap and be petted.

Another thing I plan on doing is to go walking. I plan on going on multiple walks as it is a beautiful day outside. As I walk I plan on just taking in the sunshine and enjoying the moment. So, I guess I will be doing mindful walking.

I, of course will be listening to podcast. The subjects I have been listening to over the weekend and most interested in at the moment are philosophy and mythology. I don’t know how I got interested in philosophy but I know how I got interested in mythology. I got interested in mythology due to the fact that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. Wonder Woman’s roots goes back into mythology. If it wasn’t for my love of Wonder Woman I don’t think I would have been interested in mythology. In fact someone told me that philosophy and mythology can go hand in hand and to a degree I agree with that but they are also two very different subjects.

I do not have much more to say except that I hope to educate you on what I have learned from the podcast and from looking up the information online. I also want to thank you for reading my blog as it greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a good work week everyone. I also hope you all have a good Monday. Peace Out, World!!!