Tag Archives: Death

Struggling In Seattle – Missing My Mom

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am currently struggling with the death of my mom. Tomorrow (Tuesday) makes three weeks since my mom died. It has been a very challenging three weeks as the holiday season is in full force and my mom loved Christmas more than anything. I know this might be the hardest holiday season for me as it is just too close to my mom’s favorite holiday is Christmas. I also wonder if next year’s holiday season will be hard as I would have more time to grief. At this point in time I don’t know if this Christmas will be harder than next year but I will do my best to learn ways to cope with the grief of my mom’s death for next Christmas.

The one way I can cope in this is to cuddle up with my cat, Billie and read. The two books that I am reading are Twelve Days of Christmas Horror Volume 1 by Rick Wood as well as Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith. I have only read a couple of chapters from each book but have not enough figures which one I will like best. Now I should cuddle with my cat and read a holiday book I just told you about.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular post. I do want thank my readers for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you readers read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Mom + Holiday Emotions

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It has been two weeks and one day since my mom died. It has been challenging dealing with all that goes with losing a parent especially this time of year as it is the holiday season. Dealing with my mom’s death is adding to the holiday anxiety I struggle with every year which sucks shit and is something I discussed with my therapist today.

In fact my therapist and I discussed a great deal about my emotions especially anxiety and anger as I struggle with both. I struggle with both anxiety and anger as I tend to stuff both of those emotions that end up leading me emotionally and verbally exploding or sadly self harming. I thankfully haven’t self harmed in over a year which is a good thing but sadly I have emotionally and verbally exploded which is not a good thing. We discussed various ways to let out my anxiety and anger especially my anger. In fact my therapist suggested a couple of things to deal with my anger that are a little silly but I think will be helpful. I am really appreciative of my therapist and I am so grateful for her as well as her help with my mental health recovery.

As much as I am appreciative of and grateful for my therapist, I am also extremely grateful for today’s weather here in Seattle as it was sunny. Granted it was chilly outside but I am so grateful for the sun and that it was not freezing or below freezing outside.

Not only am I grateful for today’s weather here in Seattle, I am also beyond grateful for my precious senior kitty, Billie. I love my cat so very much and I don’t know what my life would be like without my cat. The best part of having a cat or any pet is their unconditional love.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

My Second Finished Diamond Art/Painting

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Like I mentioned in a post that I posted last night that I would post a picture of my second finished diamond art/painting. In fact the diamond art/painting is one that I started the day after my mom died which was the day before Thanksgiving. Part of the reason I started this particular diamond art/painting when I did was due to the fact that I finished the first one the day my mom sadly died. The other part of the reason I started this particular diamond art/painting is because it is the holidays and it is a holiday diamond art/painting and something I wanted to add to my holiday traditions. In fact I finished this particular diamond art/painting in a week which was a lot less time than the first one. Of course this one wasn’t as intensive as the last one. So, here is the picture of my second finished diamond art/painting:

This is my second finished diamond art/painting. It is of a cat that is dressed in holiday and Christmas decor.

I really hope you like my Christmas cat diamond art/painting. I added captions to the picture for my readers that are sight impaired or blind. I really do enjoy doing diamond art/painting. I plan to continue to do diamond art/painting for a long time.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in Seattle. Actually it is a few minutes past three o’clock in the morning Seattle time. I am unable to sleep for multiple reasons which include insomnia, PTSD and grieving the recent loss of my mom. Hell, it hasn’t even been two weeks since my mom’s death. I really miss my mom and wish she was still alive.

Since I am unable to sleep I have been doing some things to help me with the grief, PTSD and insomnia. The things I have been doing is reading a book called Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith, listening to music, working on diamond art/painting, and cuddling with my cat, Billie. I love the fact that I can get some cuddle time with my cat especially when I am reading in bed. I am grateful that I can listen to music as I do any type of art including diamond art/painting.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sad Life Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Last Tuesday (November 26, 2024) my mom died. She died from lung cancer two days before Thanksgiving. It is never easy to lose anyone especially during the holidays. I miss my mom and dealing with funeral arrangements is not easy but at least have family helping me out with all that especially my two uncles on my moms side.

To make the grief that much hard Thursday, November 28, 2024 marked exactly five years since my last cat, Lil Brooke crossed over the rainbow bridge which happened to be Thanksgiving this year. In fact Lil Brooke crossed over the rainbow bridge on Thursday, 28, 2019 which also happened to be Thanksgiving that year. Here in the United States lands on the fourth Thursday of November which means it is never the same date.

Anyway, this past Thanksgiving was not the easiest for me to deal with. At least I had friends to spend it with. I also spent it with my current cat, Billie. I am grateful that I have family and good friends checking in on me even though I have no family that lives close by. I am also beyond grateful for my cat, Billie.

I don’t have much more to write about in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Today Would Have Been 69 Years of Marriage

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today is a bittersweet day. It is bittersweet because today is my grandparents anniversary. They would have been married 69 years if my grandma sadly didn’t pass away in early 2018. I miss her greatly. In fact I called my grandpa this morning to wish him a happy anniversary and he began to cry because he is happy that I remembered and sad because he misses my grandma. I am grateful that I was able to witness the love between my grandparents. In fact my grandpa visited my grandma’s grave site today and put a dozen yellow roses on her grave. My grandma’s favorite flower was yellow roses.

I do not have much more to say in this post except to wish my grandparents a Happy 69th Anniversary. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; What Tattoo Do You Want & Where Would You Put It?

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?
View all responses

I really want my next tattoo to be the paw print of my last cat, Lil Gertie with the date I adopted her and the date she crossed over the rainbow bridge. I want it on the calf of my leg. The reason why is because I want to put the paw prints of all the cats that I have or have had or will have as an adult on the back of my calf like the cats are climbing up my leg. I also will be the day I adopt them as well as the day they cross over the rainbow bridge as a way to honor them.

A Brief Post About A Sad Event

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am not sure how to say this but I miscarried. I started feeling crampy about an hour after my last post very early this morning in the middle of the night. When I went to the bathroom, I noticed blood. My partner took me to the emergency room where doctors confirmed our worst fear of me miscarrying. This phucking sucks and I don’t know how to feel and I am just numb. I was supposed to have an appointment with my therapist this morning but was unable to go to due to being in the emergency room and I forgot to call her. I did send her an email and called her to leave a voicemail when I got back home from the emergency room. Thankfully, I have an already scheduled appointment with my OBGYN tomorrow morning.

I don’t know what else to say. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Challenging few Weeks w/New & Refreshed Lessons Learned Along the Way

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Caturday Saturday. It has been quite a couple of weeks of being challenging for me for various reasons and many of them I have had to deal with some eighth deaths in a matter of a two week period. Some of the folks I have never met but really admired in the animal welfare community especially locally here in the Seattle area who touched the life of many humans and cats. Sadly this person took her own life and wish I would have been given to meet her in person. She will be greatly missed especially in the animal welfare community.

On the continuation of discussing death. I can’t really discuss much about it due to HiPAA law but many of the client I work with overdose on drugs and alcohol. Sadly some pass away to drug and/or alcohol overdoses and It is challenging to deal with. Thankfully I have the support of my colleagues with this especially when people have been trying to get off drugs so they don’t have to have a stigma with an addiction.

Dealing with so many deaths is the last couple of weeks I have been reaching out to my support system such as my friends, family and my colleagues as well as my therapist. I am just beyond grateful that I have supportive people in my life to be there for me. Not many people have a good support system and I have a great support system.

Now on to what I do to help with my self care. One way I do self care is due at least two mindful meditations daily; once in the morning and another one before bed time. I am also trying to put in third mindful mediation in the middle of a work day to help me refocus during work. Another way I have been doing self care is spending time with my cat as well as walking two times a day; once in the morning and once the evening. Of course another self care act is going to volunteer at PAWS Cat City a least once a week. Of course working at my job helps as well. I have been reading a lot of books that I find helpful to help with my recovery journey. I also have been doing some art work and hope to show sometime soon.

As this post comes to an end just know there is always hope along the way. I want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you reading and/or following my blog, I most likely would be continuing to writing my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out World!!!!

Sleepless in Seattle Once Again

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having a challenging time being able to sleep and it sucks shit. My grandma did five years ago and Valentines Day. Even though I never liked Valentines Day before my grandma passing away, her death just made me hate it even more. I just want one more hug from my grandpa however my cat Billie Dean gives me great hugs.

On to the hugs from my cat, Billie, he is helping with some art work. He is choosing what coloring book to color from and then the picture. So, I am hoping the picture I color that Billie chose comes out well.

On to a similar topic I ordered some crafty stuff. I ordered latch hook and cross stitching stuff to help ease my mind and do something with my hands. I figured I can learn new things like latch hook and cross stitching.

Something else I am learning is tarot cards. I am reading two books about tarot cards as well as the little bookletts in tarot boxes. I know I must sound nuts about learning tarot but if it can help with my recovery then I am all for it.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog post. I greatly appreciated it. I hope every has better sleep than I did. Peace Out, World!!!