Tag Archives: Mental Health

Dreaming of Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep. I am not sure why. I can only guess it is my insomnia acting up once again. I wish I could sleep  but unfortunately I am unable to do so. One of the ways I have been attempting to get back to sleep is by doing some mindfulness and meditation practices. Usually this helps after the third time but sadly it hasn’t helped.

Since I am unable to sleep, I have been trying to keep myself busy. I have worked on my art. Specifically, I have been painting and collaging. I have been doing a combination of both genre’s I mentioned. I must say the particular piece I am working on is coming out quite splendidly.

Another thing I have been doing to keep myself busy is binge watching television. I watched an entire season of Friends as well as a half season of M*A*S*H. I had some great laughs watching both shows as comedies help me in many ways.

Just a reminder that I have advertisements on my blog to help me earn a little extra money. I hope that you my reader would be willing to click on an ad or two, once or twice a week so I can earn the extra money so I can buy people gifts for the holidays coming up. I would be greatly appreciated if clicked on the ads. I may not make much with the ads but every penny counts. I really want to give the people in my life some gifts that they will enjoy for the holidays.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate it very much. I hope everyone has a great Saturday and weekend and that you are able to enjoy some of the weekend. Again, thank you for reading. Hopefully, I will be able to get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

The Sh*t That Is On My Mind

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a few days since I last posted. I have attempted to post but hit road blocks and writers block along the way. So today, I am saying fuck it to both the road blocks and writers block and just write what I am thinking at the moment. Yes, it is a scary thought. Yes, I will be writing what I am exactly at the moment. Yes, it might not make sense.

Right now I am dealing with some fucking anger. Anger over the mass shooting in California. Why in the hell is this shit still fucking happening? Why is the media blaming mental health challenges, yet again on the mass shooting? Why are people on social media sites doing the same thing? Seriously, people who have a mental health challenge are more likely to be the victim of a violent crime than a perpetrator of one. Why can’t mainstream media share that?

Okay, if you are a regular reader, you know I live in Seattle, Washington. Anyway a couple of initiatives recently passed here in Washington. One was for better gun control. I personally had mixed feelings on this initiative because of possible HIPPA violations. I would have voted for it if it weren’t for the HIPPA violations. I am all for common sense gun control but when it violates a persons medical privacy then its an issue for me. Another initiative  that passed and I voted for is better and more training for police officers in regards to people who are in a mental health crisis. I don’t understand why people have an issue over more training for police officers. Hell, I personally think any type of training for any career is a good thing.

I am having some high anxiety right now. I haven’t had therapy last week or this week due to my therapist being out sick. I can’t help but think this is going to be another repeat of what happened when Diana left unexpectedly two years ago due to a cancer diagnosis. I feel like I am have very similar conversations with the on call clinicians that I had two years ago as I “have no evidence” that my therapist wont be coming back which is true but when its happened before you tend to worry and be anxious about such things. I just don’t need another change in my mental health care. I hope my therapist gets better and does come back but I’m not holding my breath at the moment. I don’t think the clinicians I’ve talked to over the last two week really understand the fear I am having right now especially with having a new job and the holidays coming up.

Thanks for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead. I am grateful for each one of you who read my blog. Again, thank you for reading. Have a wonderful evening as well as a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

BEWARE: I’m On My High Horse

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It has been one of them weekends that has been frustrating as hell. That is part of why I am on my fucking high horse. I think I’m going to tell you what I am on my high horse about.

First and fore most I am sick and tired of people complaining about politics to find out that they don’t vote in any election “ever” or “in years.” I am sorry but if you haven’t ever voted or haven’t voted in years then I don’t want to hear you complain about anything regard politics or politicians. I understand that sometimes people are unable to vote for various reason such as being in the hospital or loosing a loved one for example. I just don’t want to hear someone complain if they regularly don’t participate in voting. So please go out to vote tomorrow if you haven’t already voted.

Okay, I am now that I have stated why I am on my high horse I am going to end this post for now. I will attempt to blog later on today or sometime tomorrow. I think I need to blog more especially since that holiday are among us. Have a wonderful Monday and work week. Thank you for reading my post.

 

More Monday Moodiness

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is still Monday in my part of the world. I am still dealing the Monday moodiness I wrote about in my last post. I am still dealing with depression, grief and isolation as well as other not so good emotions.

I have been doing things to help me through the rough emotions since my last post. My cat is now back sitting next to me on my chair. She is purring right now and the purring is helping calm me down.

I have also done some art work. I have done some painting. I am painting something for a friend of mine to give as gift to her as she has been of great support to me. I am not finished with the painting and she has no idea I am painting her something. I hope to be able to give it to her by Thanksgiving.

I have also been writing. I have been mainly writing poetry. Poetry that I hope to share with you my reader someday but not today. Writing poetry is quite helpful for me and I wrote a poem for my grandma in regards to dealing with my grandma’s death on Valentine’s Day of this year (2018).

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope to blog again tomorrow. I hope to inform you how my doctors and therapy appointments go tomorrow. Thank you again for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Moodiness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now, I am realizing that I have been moody most of the day. I have been moody for many reasons. My depression is acting up. My grief dealing with my grandma hit me like a tsunami today. Oh yeah and that weather sucks shit.

It doesn’t help things that I have been isolating myself today. Not sure why I am isolating today but I have. I did email my therapist and primary care doctor about the depression, grief and isolation. Both my doctor and therapist reminded me of my appointments with them tomorrow which I know will be quite helpful for me. My therapist also informed that I do have refills for my psych meds as he talked with the “shrink on duty.” So, at least I know I have meds for the next two weeks.

My cat, Lil Gertie, has been of great help to me today. She has been laying by my side on my share or laying on my lap. She even let me hold her for about ten minutes as I paced around my apartment. She usually only lets me hold her for about two to three minutes max. She is an awesome emotional support animal. Right now she is taking some “me time” by sleeping on my bed. Everyone needs some space at times and she has done a very good job with supporting me today so she deserves the “me time.”

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Knowing that I have perfect strangers that care about me and that I am able to help by sharing my story helps me get through tough days like today. I hope everyone has a good rest of your Monday. Enjoy your week with whatever you are doing. Peace Out, World!!!

The Hate & Violence Needs To Stop

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! If you live in the United State I am sure you are well aware of the shooting that killed eleven people at Synagogue in Pittsburgh. All I know is that hate and violence need to fucking stop. I don’t understand why the mass shootings are getting worse.

This time around the mass shooting happened a Synagogue which is considered a hate crime here in the United States. It pisses me off that one particular political party is saying that this shooting wouldn’t have happened if there were armed guards. Unfortunately, I think if there were armed guards at the Synagogue, I think the situation would have turned out much worse.

Have armed guards everywhere is not the solution. Having common sense gun laws (or common sense gun control) is what is needed. But here in America people are so set for the second amendment. I am not a fan of guns for many reasons but I understand having the right to bare arms however we need some form of common sense gun laws to help prevent mass shootings or any shooting for that matter. I’m not saying to my fellow Americans that I want to take away your guns, I am say we need better gun control

The thing that pisses me off even though I haven’t heard anything of this yet, is that in most mass shootings here in America, are blamed on people who have a mental health challenge. I am sorry to say this but the majority of people who have a mental health challenge happen to be the victim of a crime than be the perpetrator of a crime.

What happened yesterday at the Synagogue is a hate crime. A crime that is being encouraged by the current administration. That is why that the elections this year are extremely important. We need to get people in power who don’t encourage violence.

That is why I have voted. Yes, I already got my ballot and voted. It is in the mail as we speak. Voting is our civic duty and anyone who doesn’t vote has absolutely no right to complain about the current political climate or say anything regarding government agencies.

Okay, I think I am off my high horse. I am just pissed off that eleven people got killed at a Synagogue. I am also pissed about the continuous shootings that are happening throughout America and nobody seems to give a shit.

Thank you for reading for my blog. I am sorry for the post being so angry. I just don’t like when people get killed. Again, thank you for reading. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. Peace Out, World and lets stop the hate.

Too Early To Be Up On A Saturday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is six o’clock in the morning on Saturday. Fortunately, I fell asleep shortly after I last posted. Unfortunately, I woke up a little too early. I was hoping to sleep in a little.

I think I’ll take this time to make some tea. I’ll have tea while reading the local news paper the Seattle Times. It is probably full of bad news like always but at least it is part of my morning routine.

I don’t have much more to say except of yet another reminder of why I have advertisements on my blog. Each time someone clicks on one of the advertisements on my blog I earn money. Not much money but at least it is something. All I ask of you is that you click on an ad or two once or twice a week. It will help by gifts for my friends and family during the holiday season whichever holiday they may celebrate.

Oh, I need to fix me some breakfast. I am not sure what I am going to have for breakfast but I know it’s not going to be cereal. I think I might fix me some French toast and scrambled eggs. I might even have chocolate milk along with my breakfast.

My cat appears to want some attention so I think I am going to give her the attention. If she wants it, I will give it to her unless of course if its three o’clock in the morning and I am trying to sleep. Paying attention to Lil Gertie, my cat, comes first then breakfast.

I think I am going to get going and pay attention to Lil Gertie. After that I will have breakfast and then have tea while I’ll read the news paper. I hope everyone has a good Saturday. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Two In The Morning Fun

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is two o’clock in the morning and I am unable to sleep. I am unable to sleep because I worked last night and ended up sleeping all day. I wish I could get some form of sleep so I can get back on a regular sleep schedule.

One of things I planned to do tonight went out the window. I was planning on watching movies however I couldn’t. First my internet and WiFi went down and then twenty minutes later my electricity went out so I couldn’t watch movies via DVD or streaming. In fact I now have electricity even though it wasn’t scheduled to be back on till twelve noon.

Not having any electricity made me think on what kind of fun I could have without electricity. So I made me blanket fort and set up my art supplies as well as put in some Wonder Woman comic books and the fantasy book I am reading. I then grabbed my battery operated lanterns and some flashlights. After the fort was built and everything else entered the fort, the fun began.

So, I have been spending most of the night in my fort reliving the good parts of my childhood. I have been painting in my fort and decided to add some collaging to the painting. I think the two genres together is creative, fun and can come out quite interesting.

After doing some art, I decided to read. I read a few chapters in the fantasy novel I am reading and am really getting into it. I also have been reading some Wonder Woman comic books. As I was reading, that is when the electricity came back on. So, now I am blogging about the fun childhood experience I relived.

Think I am going to continue doing what I was doing before the electricity came back on. Not sure why it went off in the first place but I am glad it went out because I had fun and am having fun doing things that remind me of the good parts of my childhood.

Thank you for reading my blog It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope that you all can find something to do that is a fun activity that brings you joy that is from your childhood. Everyone has something that brings them joy from their childhood despite traumatizing childhoods. I hope everyone has a fun weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Evening Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! After my last post, I went directly to bed. I was so tired it wasn’t even funny. I woke up about an hour ago and had some dinner then I played with my cat. I am honestly worried that I won’t be able to sleep tonight due to the amount of sleep I got today.

Since I have been asleep all, that pretty much sure I will be up most of the night. That is why I am coming up with ways to use my Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills. One of those skills I plan on doing is of course some art work. Specifically, I’ll be doing a lot of painting tonight. I might even add some collaging to my paintings.

Another thing I plan on doing tonight is reading. I will be reading the fantasy book I never really finished and decided pick it back up. I am really enjoying the book thus far even I am reading the parts I have read before. I just want to make I don’t miss anything when I get to the parts I have not read yet.

I am also planning on binge watching some movies. Specifically, movies that can be related to the holiday, Halloween. I have idea’s of what movies I am going to choose from but not a definite decision yet. Movies are a great way of distracting myself no matter what it may be.

If you regularly read my blog you are aware that I have advertisements on it. Any time anyone clicks on one of those advertisements I earn money. Not much money but I earn some. It would be greatly appreciated if you could click on an ad or two each week so I can earn extra money.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday evening. Thank you again for reading my blog. Have a wonderful weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Bored Half Out of My Skull at Work

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is now two o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world and I am both wide awake and sleepy at the same time. I think I am sleepy because I am bored half out of my skull at work. I am wide awake because I have been drinking soda to help me stay awake. If it’s not the caffeine or the sugar that is helping me stay awake, it is the constant having to go pee due to drinking so much soda. I can literally say that my shift is now half over. I only have six more hours to go.

As I sit here typing at my office computer I can hear the rain falling outside. So, it is a good thing that a good portion of our guest decided to come to the shelter tonight as this is one night that would not be pleasant to stay out in. I do have to say that the rainy weather is making me a wee bit tired.

I am wondering what my cat is doing at the moment as she slept most of the day with me. I wonder if she is wondering around my apartment like she did last night when I was keeping myself awake so I could sleep during the day.

I honestly hope the next six hours goes by quickly as I want to go home and curl up with my cat and a good book to read. In fact the rainy weather is having me feel that at the moment. I think after I go to my rounds for my job, I will do some coloring.

Well, I need to be going as I have to check on the guest in the shelter and then I will be coloring till it is time to do my next set of rounds. I hope everyone is able to have a good sleep. Peace Out, World!!!