Tag Archives: Painting

Looks Like a DBT Skills Type of Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is early afternoon in my corner of the world. I have been dealing with a bump in the road for about three to four weeks now. It appears to be turning into a funk but if I have anything to do with it, it won’t get into a funk. But for those of us who deal with mental health challenges sometimes the funk is beyond our control which sucks shit.

As the symptoms of my mental health challenges appear to be increasing I realize it needs to be a DBT skills type of day. I say this because I have been fighting of dissociation due to the PTSD I struggle with. I am also struggling with Depression symptoms. Specifically, isolation. I am also struggling with self harm urges and want to reassure you that I AM CURRENTLY NOT AT RISK of harming myself.

Considering the type of symptoms, I am currently struggling with I realize that using my DBT skills today is key to my recovery and long term goals. Specifically, the DBT skills I will be using all have to do with creativity. For me being creative is what helps me with the dissociation. In fact music will be a major part of my day. I say this as if I am not playing my flute or harmonica, I will be listening to music as I am creative in other ways. I plan on doing some art. I am actually going to be painting. I have an idea or two for what I want to paint. I love painting as it helps me expression my emotions when I am having difficulty expressing them in other ways as well as not knowing what emotion I am currently feeling. Another way, I plan on being creative is writing. In fact I am writing right now as I blog. However, I am planning on writing some poetry as I feel a few poems that may be on the horizon. Poetry is another way to express my emotions. Of course I will be listening to music as I paint and write like I am doing now. Like I mentioned earlier, I will be playing my flute or harmonica at some point today. Of course I will not be listening to music when I am playing one of my musical instruments.

I am thinking that I don’t have much more to say that I will go end the post especially since I am hungry and in need of making lunch. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great Saturday and weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s assignment for Finding Everyday Inspiration is to write a list. We were given a list of topics to use for idea’s for a list. I chose from one of the topics as it resonates with me.

Things I Have Learned:

  1.  How to meditate, as it has helped bring peace in my life.
  2. How to do mindfulness. This has helped me calm my mind and bring peace to my life.
  3. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills as this has helped me a great deal with my recovery with mental health challenges.
  4. Learned how to read music when I learned how to play the flute. Playing the flute and reading music has helped me in many areas of my life. Music was the first way I learned how to express myself and my emotions.
  5. Learned how to play the harmonica. If I didn’t learn how to play the flute and read music I would have never learn to play the harmonica. This too has helped me in many areas of my life. Just like playing the flute it helps me express myself and my emotions.
  6. I learned the are of writing poetry. This has helped me express myself in ways people can relate to.
  7. I learned how to paint. In fact I am still learning how to paint. This has helped me express myself when I am unable to use words to express myself.
  8. I am in the middle of learning how to enjoy life even when difficult situations arise. I hope that someday I will be better at this especially among the difficult times.
  9. I learned how to do self care and how to appreciate it. This has helped me a great deal in my recovery
  10. I learned how to accept another persons love. In fact this is something I am still learning how to do. My cat, Lil Gertie, is helping a great deal with this as I have accepted other people’s love a lot easier since I adopted her. It is still a challenge for me but it has become easier since adopting my cat, Lil Gertie.

A Fun & Relaxing Sunday

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is ten o’clock at night in my corner of the world. I am tired as hell as I did not sleep at all last night and have not been able to take a nap today. Despite being tired due to the lack of sleep I did have a pretty good day.

First and fore most I spent some time with my friends. We went out to lunch and it was great. We had some pretty big plates of food that we were able to share with each other and still bring home some leftovers. I ended up getting some spaghetti which was pretty tasty.

After lunch my friends and I ended up going shopping. We went to several thrift store. I ended up buying myself a beer mug stating “Cheers to 40 Years,” I bought this because I will be turning forty on Thursday. I also bought me a bowl for cereal and two pairs of pajama pants. I included a picture of the things I bought. It featured below

IMG_0443 When I got home from lunch and I shopping I worked on a painting that I started yesterday. I would take a picture of it however I am not ready to show it yet as it is still in the beginning stages of the painting. I love being able to paint as it relaxes me and helps express what I am feeling when I can not express my emotions with words.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my post as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a great rest of your Sunday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Words to the Emotions

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I didn’t do much of anything for a good portion of the day. I did go in for a meeting with the supervisor for the peer run help line I volunteer for. They wanted to “check in” with me because they got information from the crisis line that I had been calling frequently as well as the peer run help line I volunteer on. They said “it sound a lot like you.” I informed this person it was not me and asked him seriously, “why would I call the crisis line or this line when I have a distinctive and unique voice?” He replied “I don’t know why you would.” I informed him that I did not call the crisis line the peer run help line however I did call the after hours crisis team of the agency I am a client of on Valentines Day due to the anniversary of my grandma’s death. I went to show him my phone to prove to him I didn’t and I offered to sign an ROI for him to talk to my therapist. He declined both and said “I am at a loss of what to day.” More or less I validated him that he was in a tough spot no knowing who to believe. So, he is “cautiously” letting me back to volunteering on the help line for a handful of reasons. I guess, I am bothered that he thinks that I have been calling both lines but I understand him wanting to “check in” to make sure I was doing well. I just can’t get out of my head that I am being told that I am call helps lines when I am not but this is something I need to stop ruminating over as I was told I could go back to volunteering.

When I got home from my meeting I decided to paint. I decided to paint due to the mixture of emotions I was dealing with in regards to the meeting. It helped me get the emotion out that needed to get out. It helped me realize that I needed to find the words for my emotions.

That is when I decided to journal. Granted, I am still trying to find the right words to put to my emotions but journaling did help. In fact it helped a great deal just like the painting did.

I do not have much more to say except I am grateful that the supervisor is letting me back to volunteer. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening and night. Peace Out, World!!!

There Is No Place Like Home

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am home and have been for a few hours. It is so nice to be home and able to sleep in my own bed instead of a couch. My cat, Lil Gertie, appears to be happy to be home as well. I do have to say my apartment is still cold as I had the windows slightly opened when I was gone to have it not be so stuffy in my apartment. It sure seems that it is taking an extremely long time for it to warm back up after closing the windows and turning on the heat full blast.

Since I have been home, I decided to do some art. In fact I have decided to do some painting as I was not able to paint when I was at my grandpa’s. That is okay as it has me more appreciative of different genres of art.

Now I am about to curl up in my own bed to read. I am really enjoying the book I am reading. I hope to do a book review when I am finished with the book. I am reading “Lost Boys” by Orson Scott Card. Orson Scott Card is a really good author or that is my opinion of him.

I do not have much more to say except that there is no place like home. I hope everyone has a good rest of their Monday evening. I would also like to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

More Monday Moodiness

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is still Monday in my part of the world. I am still dealing the Monday moodiness I wrote about in my last post. I am still dealing with depression, grief and isolation as well as other not so good emotions.

I have been doing things to help me through the rough emotions since my last post. My cat is now back sitting next to me on my chair. She is purring right now and the purring is helping calm me down.

I have also done some art work. I have done some painting. I am painting something for a friend of mine to give as gift to her as she has been of great support to me. I am not finished with the painting and she has no idea I am painting her something. I hope to be able to give it to her by Thanksgiving.

I have also been writing. I have been mainly writing poetry. Poetry that I hope to share with you my reader someday but not today. Writing poetry is quite helpful for me and I wrote a poem for my grandma in regards to dealing with my grandma’s death on Valentine’s Day of this year (2018).

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope to blog again tomorrow. I hope to inform you how my doctors and therapy appointments go tomorrow. Thank you again for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Lazy A$$ Friday

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! I have a had a lazy ass Friday.  I have pretty much done nothing today. I have mostly taken naps as I didn’t sleep last night. Despite napping a good portion of the day I spent my waking moments playing with my cat, Lil Gertie, and doing hobbies I enjoy.

One of the hobbies, I did today was scrap booking. I did this to help me with dealing with the grief of my grandma because the scrapbook I am making has many pictures of my grandma. I am not sure if I am going to keep the scrapbook or give it to my grandpa but whatever I do with it, it is helping me to deal with the grief of the death of my grandma.

Another hobby I have done today was buy some Wonder Woman comic books. Actually, I was able to get a good portion of the Wonder Woman comic books I was not able to buy as of lately due financial reasons. So that means I am catching up on the latest Wonder Woman comic books.

One of the other hobbies I did today was paint. I was painting an abstract piece of art when my cat, Lil Gertie, stepped in my paint. So that’s when I came up with an idea of her walking on my canvas. Surprisingly enough she did it and now I have a very cool painting that I will frame and put on one of my walls.  The difficult part was getting the paint off of the feet of my cat, Lil Gertie. It took about an hour to wash Lil Gertie’s feet but I have an awesome painting of her foot prints. So her stepping into my paint was a blessing despite having to wash her paws for nearly an hour due to her not liking it.

So what I have done today has been quite helpful with my recovery. I love being able to do hobbies and it overall helped with making my day of isolation a great day. Yes, my depression has been acting up however my hobbies kept me from letting it get the better of me.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their Friday. Most importantly, I hope every enjoys their weekend with whatever you are doing. I know some people work weekends and hope that those who work this weekend have a good work shift. Again thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

A Shower Does A Soul Some Good (Plus Other Things)

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! There is nothing like a good nice hot shower to help cleanse both the body and the soul. For me taking a shower is helpful for not just my soul but my depression.

After taking a shower, I decided to deep clean my cat’s kitty litter box. I tend to do this once a week as the normal cleaning of the litter box doesn’t always get rid of the germs; when you just scooping out the poop and pee.

I then did the dishes. After doing the dishes I mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors as well as some other household chores. Doing chores gives me a sense of accomplishment which helps with the soul or at least with my soul.

After I doing chores, I worked on a piece of art that I have been working on for about a week. Specifically, it is a painting that is almost finished. I just have to wait for the paint to dry to completely finish it as I need to do another layer of a different color paint.

As I wait for the paint to dry I read the fantasy novel I have been reading. I am really enjoying the book and am having trouble putting it down. On occasion I do put the novel down to read comic books. Specifically, Wonder Woman comic books.

So what I have been doing so far today has given me some hope as well as some peace. Hope and peace that my soul needed. My soul needed this because I needed to do some good self care.

I have realized that I need to do more self care for myself which includes doing everyday chores. Chores that mean taking out the trash and doing the dishes. Yes, I know doing simple chores may not be considered self care or something that helps one’s soul but for me it is self care and helpful for my soul. It also gives me hope and peace when I do fun things as well. Such as art work and reading.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World

A Good Yet Draining Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been an emotionally draining day. I saw my therapist today and our session was emotionally draining. He picked up on the fact I didn’t want to discuss the recent death of a neighbor as dealing with death is difficult for me. Hell, dealing with death is difficult for everyone. Or at least everyone that I know of. We discussed my DBT homework as well. We discussed what behavior I was working on regarding my DBT homework and my therapist liked the idea that I wasn’t waiting for the last minute to do my DBT Homework. He is also going to be assigning me homework but is unsure what he is going assign me as homework and will let me know tomorrow.

Overall, it has been a great day. I got home from therapy and Lil Gertie has been by my side giving me support. I have also been working on one of my workbooks which has been quite helpful with making my day a little bit better. I have also talked with friends and had dinner with two of them. It’s always nice to be able to talk to and/or spend time with friends who care.

I think I am going to be doing some art work. Specifically painting. I will be painting on canvas as well as in one of my scrap books. I love being able to do art work. Art helps me a great deal. It helps me express my emotions on what I am unable to get out verbally.

Thank you for reading. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Evening Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! My therapist checked in with me before he left the office for the three day weekend. He reminded me the free music event going on this weekend at the Seattle Center. I plan on going to Folk Life on Monday with my friend from high school.

My anxiety has been acting up so I have been painting. I painted or attempted to paint another picture of Lil Gertie. I am hoping that with practicing that I could get good enough to sell some of my art.

Well I need to go and eat dinner. Have good three day weekend. Have a Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!