Monthly Archives: February 2018

Nightmares Suck Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up from a nightmare that ended up being a screaming nightmare. Screaming so loud my neighbors got worried and called the police. The police came and did a welfare check on me. They showed up and I informed them of what happened and they left.

Since they left I’ve been reading. I have been reading a History text book as well as the fantasy novel I’ve been reading for a while now. I was hoping I could go back to sleep with the reading however I have been unable to do so. I am hoping that blogging would be helpful.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World

Happy Friday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’m watching the Opening Ceremonies for the Winter Olympics. I love the fact that the Olympics bring the world together. Its the one sporting event the world can enjoy together.

I saw Gilbert today for therapy. We discussed the progress I am having. He feels that with me seeing him two to three times a week has been helpful and it has helped. I just wish my official therapy services weren’t pulled from my care. Gilbert is attempting to his best for me to gain my trust with him and everyone else on my treatment team and it appears to be helping from my end of things.

I want to get going to continue watching the Olympics. Have a wonderful weekend. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!

Photo 1; Day 8: Treasure

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! When I saw today’s topic of treasure I knew exactly what picture to post and why it’s a treasure to me.

IMG_0004The above picture is my beloved teddy bear fondly known as “Ted” or “Teddy” although he now sort of looks like a rat due to the nose. I’ve had Ted since I was born. So he is almost 39 years old. How many people do you know that have had the same stuffed animal for nearly 40 years? Not many. Ted is a treasure to me. He has been there for me through thick and thin. He is my best friend.

Friday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I think about my week I can’t help but think about my friend who get fired yesterday at one of the agencies I interviewed for. In fact the job my friend got fired from is one I want as it is a part time position. In all honesty, part time work will be a better fit for me than a full time position. The problem is that if this agency offers me the part time position, I’ll feel bad for taking it. I also know this friend would be okay with it.

Right now, I am dealing with a great deal of PTSD symptoms. Symptoms that aren’t helping me with fighting off some dissociation. One of the signs I’m about to dissociate is the feeling of me being a scared young child. This is when I start playing with the toys I have. I usually play with my Hot Wheels, Play Doh, Legos, coloring, and stuffed animals.

Something that I did this morning to help not dissociate is make myself breakfast. I made myself French Toast, scrambled eggs and some tea. As I ate, I read the news paper. The newspaper had the typical bad news but also had stuff about the Winter Olympics. The Olympics is a refreshing part of the news.

Thank you for reading about my ramblings. I hope everyone has a good day. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Fun Fact Friday

Posted on by Gertie
  • Banana’s are curved because they grow toward the sun.
  • When hippo’s are upset their sweat turns red.
  • A lion’s roar can be heard up to 5 miles away.
  • Bob Dylan’s real name is Robert Zimmerman
  • Manic Monday Sung by the Bangles was written by Prince
  • A sheep, a duck and a rooster where the first passengers in a hot air balloon.
  • The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
  • Birds don’t urinate
  • Slugs have 4 noses
  • The Bible is the most shoplifted book in the worl

A Quiet Thursday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today, has been a quiet day. Junior and I visited my grandma at home as she is in home hospice care at the moment. It was difficult yet rewarding. I love my grandma very much.

After spending time with my grandma Junior and I came back home to have a quiet day. We spent the day watching movies. We also had some intimate moments that we both enjoyed immensely.

If it weren’t for my recovery, I don’t think I would be able to have romantic relationship much less have an intimate moment or two. For me having a relationship with Junior is proof that recovery is well worth it.

Junior and I are now watching the Winter Olympics. Specifically, ice skating. I’m not a big fan of ice skating but it’s one difficult sport. I do appreciate the sport of ice skating.

I better get going to continue to watching the Olympics with Junior. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Photo 1; Day 7: Big

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today’s topic is “BIG” and the first thing I thought of was Junior’s penis. I quickly realized it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to take a picture of it and then post it on my blog. I don’t know the ages of my readers and didn’t want anyone to get upset or angry with me for posting a picture of a penis so I chose not to do so.

IMG_0163The above picture is known as the UW Tower and is the tallest building in my neighborhood. It was the old Safeco Building and I still refer to it as such. The students at the University of Washington (UW) look at me strange when I call it that so I try to call it “The Tower” but old habits die hard sometimes.

Thank you for reading!!! Have a great day!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Thursday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As, I sit here I am struggling to write while listening to music. Music that is helping lessen my anxiety. Anxiety that is caused by the not so lovely PTSD. PTSD that is causing slight depression however I am using skills to fight it off. Mainly, I am reading (and blogging).

Something that I am looking forward to is that the Winter Olympics start today. I love how the Olympics bring the world together. I am not sure what event I am looking forward the most but am looking forward to it.

I think I’m going go and read now. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It’s 3:30 in the morning in my neck of the woods and I am still unable to sleep. So, I have been reading Wonder Woman comics as well as Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am slowly getting through book but immensely enjoying it. Some people call me a “Geek” because of the types of books I read and I am okay with that title. Some people may find it offensive but I don’t.

Something I’ve been doing to get back to sleep is mindfulness and meditation. It helps me relax and most the time get back to sleep. Tonight its not helping so much on the sleep side of things however it is having me be in a relaxed state of mind which is always a good thing.

I’m grateful to have skills to help me through sleepless nights like this. My recovery may depend on me getting sleep however before recovery I would just say “Fuck It” and self harm or attempt suicide because it was getting to be too much to be in my head. Now I know what to do to no be in my own head as much.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now. Have a good night and/or day in you part of the world. Peace Out, World!!!

Venting My Frustrations

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here frustrated at friend, attempting to not get frustrated with him or the experience he is sharing with me via text. It does appear that he is getting frustrated with himself as well as me and my experience with a similar issue especially since it deals with Social Security and Medicaid. I understand where he is coming from and am frustrated for him. It just rubs me the wrong way when he (and others) demean my own experience. I’ve been dealing with Social Security since for twenty plus years and he only ten or so years. I’m feeling like since he is older than me he thinks I don’t know anything. I informed him of my frustration and he is more frustrated.

I’m thinking I need to put this conversation on hold with my friend so I can get some sleep or attempt to do so. I’m going to do some mindfulness and meditation to help me let go of some of this as it is not my issue to fix and I think my friend wants  me to “fix” it for him. This is where I know mindfulness will be helpful for me and my own recovery.

If it weren’t for me being in recovery I wouldn’t know about my own boundaries and that I need to use my DBT skills in this situation. One of which is Mindfulness. Another is to do get sleep and do good self care like blogging. Hell, mindfulness and meditation are good self care activities or at least for me they are.

It is almost one o’clock in the morning for me and I want to get some sleep. Have a good night everyone. I hope you all have some good sleep. Goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!!