Tag Archives: Mental Illness

A Quiet Thursday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today, has been a quiet day. Junior and I visited my grandma at home as she is in home hospice care at the moment. It was difficult yet rewarding. I love my grandma very much.

After spending time with my grandma Junior and I came back home to have a quiet day. We spent the day watching movies. We also had some intimate moments that we both enjoyed immensely.

If it weren’t for my recovery, I don’t think I would be able to have romantic relationship much less have an intimate moment or two. For me having a relationship with Junior is proof that recovery is well worth it.

Junior and I are now watching the Winter Olympics. Specifically, ice skating. I’m not a big fan of ice skating but it’s one difficult sport. I do appreciate the sport of ice skating.

I better get going to continue to watching the Olympics with Junior. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Thursday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As, I sit here I am struggling to write while listening to music. Music that is helping lessen my anxiety. Anxiety that is caused by the not so lovely PTSD. PTSD that is causing slight depression however I am using skills to fight it off. Mainly, I am reading (and blogging).

Something that I am looking forward to is that the Winter Olympics start today. I love how the Olympics bring the world together. I am not sure what event I am looking forward the most but am looking forward to it.

I think I’m going go and read now. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It’s 3:30 in the morning in my neck of the woods and I am still unable to sleep. So, I have been reading Wonder Woman comics as well as Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am slowly getting through book but immensely enjoying it. Some people call me a “Geek” because of the types of books I read and I am okay with that title. Some people may find it offensive but I don’t.

Something I’ve been doing to get back to sleep is mindfulness and meditation. It helps me relax and most the time get back to sleep. Tonight its not helping so much on the sleep side of things however it is having me be in a relaxed state of mind which is always a good thing.

I’m grateful to have skills to help me through sleepless nights like this. My recovery may depend on me getting sleep however before recovery I would just say “Fuck It” and self harm or attempt suicide because it was getting to be too much to be in my head. Now I know what to do to no be in my own head as much.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now. Have a good night and/or day in you part of the world. Peace Out, World!!!

Venting My Frustrations

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here frustrated at friend, attempting to not get frustrated with him or the experience he is sharing with me via text. It does appear that he is getting frustrated with himself as well as me and my experience with a similar issue especially since it deals with Social Security and Medicaid. I understand where he is coming from and am frustrated for him. It just rubs me the wrong way when he (and others) demean my own experience. I’ve been dealing with Social Security since for twenty plus years and he only ten or so years. I’m feeling like since he is older than me he thinks I don’t know anything. I informed him of my frustration and he is more frustrated.

I’m thinking I need to put this conversation on hold with my friend so I can get some sleep or attempt to do so. I’m going to do some mindfulness and meditation to help me let go of some of this as it is not my issue to fix and I think my friend wants  me to “fix” it for him. This is where I know mindfulness will be helpful for me and my own recovery.

If it weren’t for me being in recovery I wouldn’t know about my own boundaries and that I need to use my DBT skills in this situation. One of which is Mindfulness. Another is to do get sleep and do good self care like blogging. Hell, mindfulness and meditation are good self care activities or at least for me they are.

It is almost one o’clock in the morning for me and I want to get some sleep. Have a good night everyone. I hope you all have some good sleep. Goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!!

Wednesday Afternoon Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! So far today has been a good day. The interview I had today went really well. I’m on what they call “the short list” and it is with my former employer. I so want to go back work especially with my former employer.

One of the questions I was asked both yesterday and today was about what I did for self care. I told them I loved to do art. Specifically, painting, collaging, and coloring. I should them one of my haiku poem collages and they were impressed.

I also informed them that I love to read. I was asked today who my favorite author is and favorite genre. I said Orson Scott Card and it is a tie between Sci Fi, Fantasy and Mystery. I think that helped break the ice a little today.

I told the interviewers in both interviews that I start and end the day with a mindfulness and/or meditation practice. I told them that it helps me stay focused and helps me remain calm throughout the day. Hell, it helps me sleep.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated on my end. Happy Hump Day and Peace Out World!!!

Photo 1; Day 6: Solitude

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today’s topic is of solitude and I thought of the perfect picture from Christmas of 2017 in Olympia, Washington.

IMG_0115The above picture is from my hotel room I stayed at while visiting family for the holidays. As you can see I had a white Christmas. I stayed in Olympia, Washington as mentioned which is the state capital. You can see tiny bit of it three quarters of the way up on the left. So the solitude part of this picture was when I walked around the lake while listening to the sounds around me. I went back to the hotel room and had hot chocolate while looking out the window to the scene that is pictured above.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Hump Day, World!!! It’s Wednesday and I am looking forward to today. Lets start with what I will be doing in a couple of hours. I will be going to an interview at my former employer. I know one of the individuals interviewing me as we’ve attended all staff meetings and staff holiday parties. In fact this individual reached out to me to apply and interview. So, I’m a bit excited and anxious since I was the one who was reached out to regarding the job. It is a peer specialist job not with the same team. I’ll be interviewing for their crisis program. So, working with individuals will be challenging however I am up for the challenge.

I had a challenging night of sleep. Not because I was having issue with insomnia but because someone kept pulling the fire alarm. They found out who kept pulling it and well the person ended up going to the Emergency Room to get a psych evaluation. The individual has been having some issues with their mental health so I think it was wise that the police took them to the hospital.

My own mental health is improving which is a great thing. I’m feeling hopeful and am grateful for this emotion. I am relieved that things are starting to get better.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

The Love Between Gertie & I

Posted on by jjuniorz

Hey! As Gertie mentioned last week, they want myself and Mama Bear to post every other Wednesday. I stepped up to the plate to post today and Mama Bear will do it next Wednesday.

I’ve decided to write about the love Gertie and I have. I originally met Gertie when she was found unconscious and unresponsive as well as barely breathing due to a suicide attempt. Gertie’s neighbor found them and called 911 when the engine company was called out to help Gertie. Fortunately, she survived that attempted suicide as well as a handful of others.

If it wasn’t for Gertie being survivor, I wouldn’t have become friends with them. Being friends with them is what helped me fall in with Gertie. Gertie has the endearing way about her that has people go to them as friends and for me it had me fall in love with them.

Thanks for reading. I hope this gives some insight of my love for Gertie. Have a great day.

Experiences Have A Beginning & An End

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’m feeling slightly calmer than I was an hour or two of ago. That is because I used the Calm app and did a few pages in my mindfulness workbook. It appears that todays topic in both avenues of my mindfulness was experiences have a beginning and an end. Mainly talking about letting go of emotions. Both the app and the workbook was discussing on how to let go of emotions and they don’t last forever. Even the good emotions.

This is helping me come to terms with both the negative and positive emotions that a coming up for me in my life. Such as my grandma being in hospice and me having job interviews. I’m hoping that with continued mindfulness and meditation practice that I will just be able to let go of emotions or at least be accepting of them.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful evening and Peace Out World!!!

Tuesday Afternoon, Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I had my interview this morning. They were already running late at 8:30 in the morning but considering what I witnessed in the waiting room I understood. The interviewers were “impressed” how I handled the client crisis and helped with the other clients in the waiting room. I asked the other clients what music they liked and started playing music suggestions from my phone.  I was informed that it helped the need to deal with the crisis at hand without creating a bigger one. I wasn’t doing anything out of the norm for me. I was just doing what was needed at the time. In the interview they asked what ways I would handle a client in crisis in a treatment room. I said I would have art supplies available at hand. Again, I impressed them and wasn’t attempting to do so.

When I got home from the interview I turned on some music and did some art. Specifically, painting about recovery. Like I’ve said in other post, art helps me express my emotions and I must be feeling hopeful.

Thank you for reading. Have a great rest of the day. I know I will. Peace Out, World!!!