Not the Best Night for Sleep for Me

Good Morning, World from Seattle. It is the middle of the night here in Seattle, Washington and I have not received much sleep tonight. Partly because I am on crisis coverage for work on the team I work on. There have been a handful of clients calling in crisis needing to talk and I totally understand. Life can and is challenging at times.

In fact life is challenging for me at the moment due to me dealing with my own type of crisis due to a recent trauma which is the other part of why I am unable to sleep. I am unable to sleep due to insomnia as well as PTSD symptoms such as nightmares which doesn’t help my depression whatsoever.

On that note since I have not been able to sleep due to being on crisis coverage or dealing with my own shit, I have been doing quite a bit. Lets start with the obvious of me spending time with my kitty cat, Billie. Not only do I love Billie but Billie provides unconditional love as well as helps me with mindfulness meditation practices.

Not only does Billie help me with mindfulness meditation practice, Billie also reminds me to do mindfulness meditation practice with the Calm App. I do several mindfulness meditations with the Calm App as well as with Billie and other ways I have learned to do mindfulness meditation practice.

Besides doing mindfulness meditation practices, I have been doing some art as well as some crafts. I have been doing art work by coloring as well as diamond art. The crafts I have been doing happen to be latch hook and cross stitching. Both diamond art and latch hook, I am finally sort of kind of getting the hang of it. I am really enjoying being able to do various types of arts and crafts.

I am also learning something else besides new types of arts and crafts. I am learning about Tarot and Tarot Cards by reading about it in a couple of books. Specifically books for beginners. I also have three sets of Tarot Cards as well as a Tarot Workbook. I also have three or four Tarot Card journals to put in my Tarot Card readings; specifically on myself and once I get comfortable with other people’s readings.

Since I mentioned journals and workbooks I got a couple of new journals I will start writing in. One of which will help me get myself out of my comfort zone. I also have several recovery workbooks, that I have had over the years and have never started and/or finished. So, It is my plan to not just work on the journal stuff along with the tarot stuff but the recovery workbook stuff as I feel like most everything I have mentioned has and will help me with my recovery. That includes working yesterday as well as being crisis coverage till eight in the morning Seattle time today (Monday).

Good thing I don’t have to work later today (Monday) like I normally do but I had three doctors appointments that were all sadly cancelled last Thursday and Friday. I do have a “fourth” appointment which is a follow up appointment due to a recent emergency room visit from self harming myself by hitting a brick wall. My hand still hurts like hell and the bruise is nastier than hell but at least the swelling is going down.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I am sorry it is such a long post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday ahead as I have the day off even though I am going to see my doctor. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Work
  • Read a book about Tarot and Tarot Cards
  • Do an art or craft project
  • Cuddle time with my cat Billie (like I do every chance I get)

Monday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Medication practice with the Calm Ap
  • Dermatology appointment
  • Mammogram appointment
  • Follow up appointment with regular doctor after self harm act last Wednesday that included an emergency room visit.
  • Dinner with a friend
  • An art or craft project
  • Cuddle time with my cat, Billie (like I do every chance I can get)

Tuesday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation practice with the Calm App
  • Work
  • Read a book about Tarot and Tarot Cards
  • An art or craft project
  • Cuddle time with my cat, Billie (like I do every chance I am able to get)

Wednesday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation with the Calm App
  • Work
  • Read a book on Tarot and Tarot Cards
  • An art or craft project
  • Cuddle with my cat, Billie (like I do every chance I can get)

Thursday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation practice with the Calm App
  • Work
  • Read a book on Tarot and Tarot Cards
  • An art or craft project
  • Cuddle time with my cat, Billie (like I do every chance I can get)

Friday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation practice with the Calm App
  • Chores (specifically cleaning my apartment with the help from someone my apartment management referred me to and it is free help)
  • Read a book about Tarot and Tarot Cards
  • Dinner with a friend
  • An art or craft project
  • Cuddle time with my cat, Billie (like I do every chance I can get)

Saturday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation practice with the Calm App.
  • Go to the U-District farmers market with a friend and have a wonderful breakfast sandwich from a local vendor.
  • Do an art or craft project
  • Read a book on Tarot and Tarot Cards
  • Dinner with a friend
  • Cuddle with my cat, Billie (like I do every chance I get)

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Clean apartment (if my concussion is up to it)
  • Do Math
  • Do a recovery workbook
  • Color picture for mom

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Clean apartment as physical ailments allow
  • Do math
  • Do recovery workbooks
  • Just enjoy the day with my cat Billie (especially when he wants attention)
  • Color picture for mom

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Wait for the phone person to fix my land line phone
  • Hang out with my cat Billie
  • Recovery workbooks
  • Apply for jobs
  • Color picture for mom

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Recovery workbooks
  • Job interview
  • Math
  • Apply for jobs
  • Color picture for mom

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Time with Billie (before scary doctors appointments for me)
  • Doctors appointment
  • Recovery workbooks
  • Math
  • Color picture for mom

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Vet check up for Billie’s dental work
  • Recovery Workbooks
  • Apply for jobs
  • Math
  • Watch Movies
  • Wish mom happy birthday

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Color picture for mom
  • Recovery Workbooks
  • Math

My Meds Aren’t Working

Good Morning, Word!!! My medication is not working. Friend and family are saying that it appear that I am on drugs when I am not on drugs. MY meds aren’t working like they are suppose to. My friends and family think I am using drugs when in reality my meds are not working properly. The last thing I want is people thinking I am on drugs.

On that note, I let my doctor, therapist and psychiatrist know vie email and phone call. I know that is a bit much but I just wanted to make sure they were made aware of it. Plus my meds are making me funny and they should know about that. I hope they get back to me soon.

Manic Monday

Good Evening, World from Seattle, Washington. Today has been a Manic Monday for me. First I had to get up early and take an hour and a half bus ride for a job interview. Not sure how it went but if I didn’t get it, I would not be disappointed. So as of right now I a still unemployment, Not liking the fact I’m not working but it’s a way of things.

On to other things I’m glad I brought a book with me as it took me two hours from my job interview to my doctors office via public transportation just like getting to my job interview. I took book to read on the bus as well as I waited for my job interview and my doctor. Thankfully everything was on time today but I got a lot of reading done in my science fiction book.

When I got home, Billie my cat was thrilled to see me. I cuddled with him as I read more of my book. Reading appears to be helping me right now as it helps me now focus on the reality of what is going on in my world and the rest of the world.

I do not have much more to say in thing particular blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Take a walk around the blog
  • Go to my grandpa’s house to spend time with him as well as do laundry 
  • Do workbooks relates to my recovery

Monday

  • Mindfulness medication practice
  • Virtual Doctors appointment
  •  Work
  • Dinner with a friend
  • Work on a workbook for my recovery

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk around the block
  • Work
  • Work on workbook that will help me with my recovery
  • Dinner with another friend

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk around the block
  • Work
  • Attend a 12 step prrotrom

Thursday

  • Mindfulness mindfulness practice
  • Walk around the block
  • Work
  • Work on a workbook that will help me with my recovery

Friday

  • Mindfulness mediation practice
  • Walks around the block
  • Work
  • Dinner with a friend

Saturday

  • Plain is to do nothing all and be lazy

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Take nap due to working all night
  • Spend time with my cat Billie Dean
  • Listen to a podcast
  • Walk in the rain

Monday

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Walk in the rain
  • Listen to a podcast
  • Spend a half an hour cleaning apartment

Tuesday

  • Attend therapy appointment over Zoom
  • Go to see my doctor in person at her office
  • Listen to a podcast

Wednesday

  • Listen to a podcast
  • Go to Target or Walmart to buy new sheets for my bed
  • Attend a Zoom meeting

Thursday

  • Listen to a podcast
  • Attend a Zoom meeting
  • Spend a half an hour cleaning apartment

Friday

  • Listen to a podcast
  • Attend a Zoom meeting
  • Buy cat litter for my cat Billie Dean
  • Stay up all night to sleep all day Saturday (Watch movies and read)

Saturday

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night

Been Exposed & Under Self Quarantine

Good Morning, World!!! It has been a few weeks since I last blogged. There are multiple reasons why I have blogged as well as many excuses but neither the reason or excuse really matter at this moment in time. Or at least they don’t matter to me at the moment.

A lot has happened in the last week alone. I found out last Thursday (July 16th) that I was exposed to Covid-19 the last time I worked which was on Saturday, July 11th. A client of the homeless shelter I work at test positive and am grateful that this person is now at a quarantine site here in the Seattle area.

Anyway since I was exposed, I am under self quarantine and am getting tested later on today (Monday). I made the appointment to get tested right after finding out I was exposed. Another good thing regarding all this is that I had already had a virtual appointment with my doctor made for this past Friday (July 17th) which made it easy for me to talk to my doctor about what to expect regarding the test. She also informed me that she didn’t want me to go work on Saturday (July 18th) till I get tested and the results come back as negative. I informed her that my employer was being very insistent with me going into work to do my regular shift. She and I discussed that if I get fired over going against doctors orders in the midst of a pandemic will make my employer “look bad and is grounds for a lawsuit.” I am just grateful that she has my back and wrote me a note for work. She also advised me to self quarantine which is a no brainer.

Since I am under quarantine till I get tested and the results, I will be spending a lot of time at home. At least I will have my cat, Billie Dean with me. I am so happy that I have Billie especially right now. My doctor and I came up with a plan on things I can do to make sure my mental health doesn’t decline while in self quarantine. We discussed a great deal about my cat Billie Dean and how he will be helpful. I told my doctor that I have plenty of art projects I can do especially in the coloring and collaging genres. I also informed her that I have a lot of reading to catch up on. This brought up the topic of our love of reading and the books I am hoping to read. I also mentioned that I have movies I want to watch and she even suggested some that I might be interested in. We discussed music as well. Specifically we discussed me not playing my flute or harmonica just in case I am positive. This will be challenging for me to do as playing one of my musical instruments especially my flute has been a life saver for me when things get challenging for me. We did discuss that listening to music is an option and will be used. We also discussed me keeping in touch with my therapist and that she will reach out to my therapist and I informed her that I already did which she wasn’t surprised about.

Anyway, my therapist to get back to me this past Friday after talking with my doctor. He was grateful that she and I, both reached out to him regarding me being exposed. We basically discussed similar things my doctor and I talked about regarding keeping myself busy. The last thing he and my doctor want is my mental health to decline while in self quarantine and I don’t blame them. I am worried as well. I am also grateful that we will be doing daily check-ins till I get my test results back. If they come back negative then the daily check-ins will discontinue and I hope my test results will come back negative.

Anyway, I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

A Busy Friday Ahead of Me

Happy Friday Morning, World!!! It is a not so pleasant Friday morning here in Seattle, weather wise. It is one of those days that you just want to stay inside and curl up with a good book while drinking a nice cup of hot chocolate. Sadly, I won’t be able this as I have a busy day ahead of me.

First and fore most I will be going go see my doctor for our regular appointment. My doctor and I have pretty regular appointments to help me stay out of the emergency room for both physical and mental health. It appears to be helping along with seeing my therapist and psychiatrist.

After I see my doctor, I have an appointment with my job coach. Actually, she is my employment specialist but most people understand that term so I just tell people she is my job coach. Today we will be working on finding jobs that are  better fit for me schedule wise.

Since it is Friday, I will be attending my art class. The class that is teaching how to tell stories through comics. The class is called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” I love this class because it involves art, comics and writing which I enjoy doing all three. I will attending the class after seeing my job coach.

On my way home from the art class, I will be picking up some meds. As much as I highly dislike taking meds, I realize that my meds are necessary for me in regards to my recovery. Meds are are only part of the equation for my recovery.

I don’t have much more to say. I hope everyone has a great day ahead of them. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Weekly Check In

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realize it has been a week since I last blogged. I did attempt to post and have plenty of unfinished post to prove that I did attempt to do so. I honestly don’t have any excuses to why didn’t finish the post I started.

I guess I will make this post my weekly check in as I was planning to tell you what my week was like anyway. I guess, I will start with Monday. Monday, I went to my doctors appointment and had my annual wellness check done. It was not a fun experience like always because of my trauma history. Anyway, my doctor wants me to get an ultrasound done because my uterus is enlarged and no I am not pregnant. She did a pregnancy test to make sure I wasn’t even though I already knew due to not being sexually active for well over a year. So, I am waiting on my insurance to “approve” the ultrasound. I am also waiting for insurance to “approve” me for a mammogram even though I am now forty and “shouldn’t need approval” according to the paperwork I have from them but hey we all need to go through this stupid red tape from time to time.

Tuesday, I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner for a med review and that went well. She increased my Ambien to ten milligrams. We briefly discussed how things were going and I was honest with her and informed her about my doctor’s appointment. She thanked me for updating her on my physical health issues.

I also saw my therapist on Tuesday and we ended up discussing a great deal about my annual wellness check up. We discussed this as it was quite triggering to me due to my severe and lengthy trauma history. We also discussed about needing an ultrasound and being “of age” for a mammogram and the emotions that go with all of it. He also brought up the fact that a program called “Path with Art” registration is open for spring classes as he knows I love to do art and be creative as well as trying to build structure to help with my recovery.

Thursday, I went and saw my denturist to get them realigned and adjusted. It went pretty well except my grandpa got upset with the denturist due to the fact the he asked the denturist why I was telling him (my grandpa) that I shouldn’t wear my dentures at night. The denturist explained at length why not. My grandpa was not all that happy with the answer because my grandpa has been wearing his dentures at night for years. My grandpa also brought up some concerns that he and I both had and the denturist put our minds at ease. I am grateful that my grandpa paid for my dentures.

I also saw my therapist for a second time in the same week on Thursday. We discussed shit that was going on in regards to PTSD and anxiety. We also once again discussed signing up for “Path with Art” which I did later in the evening.

In fact when I signed up for Path with Art, I found out I could only take one class which sucks but I understand as it is free and geared toward folks in certain programs/agencies. Part of the registration is to give them your top three choices. My first choice is how to tell a story through comics and I feel like this was (and is) the best first choice for me as I love comics. I hope I get into this particular class as I really want to learn more about comics.

Another thing that happened Thursday was my boss texted me to see if I could work today (Saturday) and I informed him I couldn’t. He said okay and wants to do a one on one supervision with me this coming Wednesday due to not taking shift the last couple of months which I understand why he wants to do it. I am a little fearful that I will be let go but I don’t think that is the case as my employer appears to be cool from my experience and my supervisor did say we were going to talk about availability for his on calls. Plus, if I am to be let go even though it doesn’t seem all that likely at the moment, I will accept the fact about being let go due to the fact of not taking any shifts so in essence, I will be taking responsibility for my own actions.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the potential of being fired but it would be my own fault due to not taking any shifts when I was asked if I could do them. But like I said I don’t think that will be the case as I think they will just give me some kind of warning if it continues and like my supervisor said we will be discussing availability.  Also if it was something more official like being terminated, I am sure he would have sent me an email instead of a text.

I honestly don’t have much more to say except that the weather in Seattle currently sucks. It is windy and rainy outside. It is the type of day to stay inside and read type of day. Or maybe even a binge watch type of day. I most likely will be reading. I really love to read.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you my reader, I don’t think I would continue to blog even though I do enjoy blogging. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!