Tag Archives: Father

Today Marks One Year Since My Mom Died

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today marks one year since my mom died. As expected, it has a challenging day with grief of it being the one-year anniversary of my mom’s death. Not only am I dealing with the grief with the anniversary of my mom’s death but tomorrow in Thanksgiving here in the United States and tomorrow will mark my first Thanksgiving without my dad as he died back in January of this year (2025). So, it has been challenging but on a good note, today I had a regularly scheduled appointment with my therapist. We discussed the grief regarding the one-year anniversary of my mom’s death as well as tomorrow being the first Thanksgiving since my dad died back in January of this year (2025). It was a really productive session with my therapist today as well as a challenging one as grief is never easy to deal with much less talk about.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except to say it is now time to cuddle with my cat, Billie. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Mom & Dad

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Right now, I am really missing my parents. Yesterday marked three months since my mom died and tomorrow marks one month since my dad’s death. Losing both parents is extremely challenging especially when their deaths are so close to each other. Losing both parents so close to each other has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Emotions that I really do not want to deal with and if I do not acknowledge them then the rollercoaster ride just gets worse, so I am acknowledging that I am not liking my emotions at the moment. I just wish my parents were both still alive and accepting the fact that this my new reality is hard. I just hope they both knew how much I loved them.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Parents

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up this morning with some intense sadness. Sadness over losing both of my parents within a two-month period. It sucks that they died so close together but there is nothing I can do about it but radically accept the situation or be in denial. Some moments I am in denial and numb while other moments I radically accept the sadness of losing both of my parents.

Despite dealing with the grief and sadness of losing my parents I am thinking of all the little moments that they tried to make good happy memories for me and with me especially as a child to have as an adult. I have so many of those small moments that it is helping with the sadness. It’s those memories that are helping me accept the fact that my relationship with my parents had been rocky over the years and that we work through a good chunk of the issues we had. I am so happy that I was able to work through some issues I had with my parents.

I do not have anything else to discuss or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sad News, Once Again

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is Saturday evening here in Seattle and I am at a loss of words as I found out this past Wednesday that my dad died in hospice Tuesday night in his sleep. I didn’t post sooner because last Sunday marked two months since my mom died and last Saturday was my mom’s funeral. I don’t know how to feel right now but I have been mostly numb.

My mom’s funeral went well and was lovely. I saw my brother which was awesome but I wish it wasn’t due to my mom’s funeral. The urn my mom’s ashes are in is absolutely beautiful. My uncle and is “sweetie” did a wonderful job planning the funeral.

As far as my dad goes, my grandpa is struggling with the loss of my dad. My uncles and grandpa planned the funeral and it is in a week and half and I am glad I don’t have to wait two months for his funeral like I did for my mom’s. It is just really hard that my dad died two months and two days after my mom.

I do not have much more to discuss or write about in this particular blog post because it is too hard to write right now because I miss my parents. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Today Would’ve Been My Grandma’s 95th Birthday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today would have been my paternal 95th grandma’s birthday if she were still alive. Sadly, she passed away exactly a month after her 88th birthday. That meant she died on Valentines Day. So this Valentines Day will mark seven years since she died. She and my grandpa helped my dad raise me. I owe my grandmother a lot of gratitude and appreciation as she was a motherly figure to me. I miss her so much but I am glad she is no longer suffering.

I do not have much else to write about or discuss in this blog post except that I am glad she and my grandpa helped my dad raise me. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; Do You Have Any Collections?

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
Do you have any collections?
View all responses

Yes, I do have collections. I have a handful of collections however I am going to discuss my favorite collection. My favorite collection happens to be my Wonder Woman comic book collection. It began when I was in kindergarten learning to read that my dad started so I could have an interest in reading and have it be fun. See, my dad has a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and lost his ability to read and he remembers that he enjoyed reading and wanted to make sure I enjoyed it as well especially since I had been diagnosed with Dyslexia. Since comic books have pictures in them my dad thought it would be great but my dad was a single dad and wanted me to have something to inspire me to be a strong woman so he chose Wonder Woman comic books. Having Wonder Woman comic books as a child helped me learn how to read as well as continue the love of reading. As I grew into a teenager it helped me gain friends and a sense of belonging. A sense of belonging that has lasted well into adulthood. I love my dad so much for starting my Wonder Woman comic book collection as it helped me learn to read as well as the unexpected yet positive affects it had on my life.

A Post on What I Have Planned for Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is a beautiful Saturday here in Seattle. I love it when the weather is sunny and going to be in the 70’s. Seattle is a lovely city no matter the type of weather but when it is sunny and the weather is 70 or above then it is that much more prettier.

Today is my dad’s birthday. He turns 63 today. Of course my grandpa and two uncles will be celebrating my dad’s birthday with my dad. My dad doesn’t really care much for family gatherings yet if we don’t celebrate his birthday he tends to be disappointed. I love my dad dearly. I am looking forward to spending time with him and my other family to celebrate my dad on his birthday.

I am glad that I am feeling better than I did on Thursday because if I wasn’t I wouldn’t be able to go to my dad’s birthday celebration as I couldn’t attend Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group due to health reasons. Specifically, I was having some severe digestive problems that were causing me to have diarrhea but I am sure you really didn’t want to know that. I did call both of my group leaders saying I wasn’t going to attend due to not feeling well. I also called both of them a second time to get the homework for the week and neither called me back to do the homework which pisses me off because I feel like I am being punished for being sick and having some health issues. But I know they could have been busy the rest of Thursday as well as yesterday (Friday).

Before going to celebrate my dad birthday with him and other family this evening, I plan on reading. Specifically, I will be reading Yesternight by Cat Winters. I am finding the book really intriguing. I highly recommend the book. Of course I am not finished with book but so far so good which is why I would recommend the book.

I don’t have much more to say at the moment. I hope to post again later. Specifically, I hope to post my weekly check in as it is Saturday. I want to thank you for reading my blog as it greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it weren’t for you my readers and followers I don’t think I would still be blogging. Again, thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a great day and weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Time With Family

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! This is going to be a short post as today has been an emotional day for me and my family. Junior and I hung out with my family today. This was the first time my family has been together since my grandma passed away on Wednesday (February 14th). We went out to eat and shared stories of my grandma. We laughed. We cried. We ate. It was nice having the support of Junior. Having him there helped me a great deal.

The sad thing about this was my dad didn’t attend as it is “too soon” after the death of my grandma. He is struggling a great deal with my grandma’s death. I just hope that his mental health treatment team is aware of what is going so that my dad can grieve in a healthy way.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Have a great Sunday. Have a great week and peace out world!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List; Things I’ve Learned (& Why)

Posted on by Gertie
  1. To play a musical instrument. – When I was in sixth grade I started playing the flute because my best friend started playing it. I stuck with it and played through to my senior year of high school. I was in the junior high and high school band. Being in band is what kept me from dropping out of high school. In fact I am teaching myself to play the harmonica and the recorder.
  2. To have sense of humor. – I learned to have a sense of humor about myself and the world as whole from my dad. My dad told me that the world can be a harsh place and without a sense of humor life would be a lot more difficult. Having a sense of humor has helped make life a lot easier to deal with.
  3. Recovery. – I learned about being in recovery from a number of individuals in my life. One person who gets more credit teaching me about recovery than others is my dad. If it wasn’t for his example of what recovery looks like, I don’t think I would have listened to or looked to the other individuals about recovery. If it wasn’t for being in recovery, I would be completely miserable. Being miserable twenty four hours a day, seven days a week isn’t a way to live life. A part of recovery I learned is that it is non-linear.
  4. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills. – I learned DBT skills as part of my recovery process. I personally think DBT is what saved my life. Without learning these skills, I wouldn’t be in active recovery today.
  5. Meditation & Mindfulness. – I learned about meditation and mindfulness through my friends and DBT. I learned about them to help me be more aware of the present. Being aware of the present is what helps me be more effective in everyday life.
  6. Hope. – Hope is something I learned about throughout my life. In fact the above mentioned items in this list are not only some of the ways I learned about hope but things that help me continue to have hope. Without hope I wouldn’t be in recovery.

I want to thank you for reading. I hope you learned a little something more about me. As you can tell my recovery is highly important to me. Have good day. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out!!!

Daily Prompt: State of Your Year

Posted on by Gertie

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “State of Your Year.” How is this year shaping up so far? Write a post about your biggest challenges and achievements thus far.

It’s the third day of July and that means the year is half over. The year now being officially half over is why I decided to do this particular past daily prompt.

The year didn’t start off on the happiest of notes. If you are a regular reader and/or follower you are aware that I had miscarried a set of twins in January. It was a devastating start to the new year. I was looking forward to being a mama. Needless to say the miscarriage has had me wanting this year to end two weeks into it.

As January turned into February, I realized that I not only wanted the year to be over, I wanted to end my life. I wanted to end my life due to miscarrying. That is when I realized I needed to get help by putting myself into the hospital twice. The first time for two weeks and then a week after I was discharged had to go back in for another five days. I was disappointed in myself that I needed to be hospitalized for psych reasons because it had been nearly three and half years since my last discharge from my last psych hospitalization. The miscarriage hit me harder than a bag of bricks hitting the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

Despite being hit by a bag of bricks, I realized that this particular crisis was different from the rest; I didn’t harm myself in any way. Yes, that means I didn’t attempt suicide nor self-harm. If one thing could come from the sadness of loosing a set of twins and the crisis that came after it, is that I don’t need to self harm nor do I need to go through it alone.

The major thing I have learned this year is that I am not alone and most importantly I know who is truly in my corner. Don’t get me wrong, I have known who has been in my corner for quite some time, I just fully realized on who is in my corner. I also realized that, those of who I thought were in my corner when it came to me being in a crisis weren’t able to do so, like I once thought. Now I know that it doesn’t matter how long you have known someone or how you met that person, it matters that they step up to the plate when a crisis arises.  Sometimes it’s a person you don’t necessarily expect.  An example of someone like that is my friend Susan over at https://bravelybipolar.wordpress.com/.

As the year continues on and the help of many people like Susan, my fiancé, Junior and many others, it is slowly but surely better. Yes, I still have my difficult moments but realize that the initial crisis of the miscarriage is over. It has taken quite some time for it to be over however I have accomplished the fact that I not only not harmed myself in the crisis, I was able to allow others in my life to help me in one of the most darkest hours of my life.

Looking back on my year thus far, I would say that one of my major accomplishments is continuing to live my life as I would have before miscarrying. That means, I continued on going to work, going to my volunteer job at the Warm Line and most importantly spending time with friends and select family members. I also allow myself to grieve over the loss of my children. Amongst the major accomplishment of living my everyday life in the middle of a crisis, I decided to volunteer other places.

Yes, I’m now volunteering not only at the Warm Line and the Mental Health Clubhouse I am a member of but a young adult shelter. I’m doing this because, I not only miss volunteer at the main shelter of the mental health I agency I am now employed at but I want to eventually work with young adults struggling with a mental illness. The reason being is because, I’ve been there. I was a young adult seeking treatment and felt like nobody understood because everyone else to start getting treatment till their late twenties and early thirties if not older. Volunteering at the young adult (18-25) shelter is a way to make sure I want to work with particular age group in the profession sense. What’s the worse thing that can happen? I realize its not the age group I am meant to work with and another thing to put on my résumé. So far I’m loving the fact that I am not only volunteering in a homeless shelter but volunteering with the age group that I am wanting to work with professionally.

As the year continues on, I am looking forward to what it brings professionally. I love my job as a Consumer Advocate however I want to be a Peer Support Specialist. I have been looking at Peer Specialist positions within the agency I work for as well as other agencies however I realize I am more likely to get hired on, if it is at another agency, if I have been at my current employer for at least a year. My one year anniversary at my current employer is September 8, 2015. Since my anniversary is in September, I have decided to wait to late November, early December to apply for Peer Specialist positions due to the fact that I will have been employed for an entire calendar year (January to December) by the time I find out if I get hired for a job. The longer you are at an employer the better it looks to future employers. Not only that, I also need to do a few things done to ensure I will able to get a job as a Peer. They are to get my teeth fixed as well as to get a drivers license. Yes, you read right, I don’t have a drivers license. I have always lived in area’s that have pretty good public transit. Another reason why I want to get a drivers license is because many positions require one. Not only will having a drivers license be helpful to me professionally, so will getting my teeth fixed. People do tend to look at ones smile when it comes to an interview as well as in everyday encounters and that is why I want to get them fixed. Plus it will make me feel better about myself.

Overall, I am feeling better about myself as 2015 continues. Yes, it has not been the best of years so far however, I am going to make sure it ends on a higher note than it did when it started or at least try. We all know that there are things beyond our control. The year may have started badly but I know as it continues, I am making sure there are positives in it. One way I am making it positive besides professionally is by hanging out with awesome people. That is what I am about to do after I end this particular post. I do apologize for it being so long. I hope to blog again tomorrow for the 4th of July. If I am unable to do so, have a Happy 4th of July. Be safe and Peace Out!!!