Tag Archives: Work

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Posted on by Gertie

It’s the end of the work week and I haven’t blogged in nearly a week. I have not only been busy with work but with life in general. I mentioned in my last two blogs that once mental health week was over with, that I would continue educating you on a particular mental health diagnosis. That is what I plan on doing this evening. I plan on educating you on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I have been diagnosed with a mild form of OCD. The information I am about to tell you I got off of the Natation Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website at nami.org.

What is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?

     Obsessions are intrusive, irrational thoughts – unwanted ideas or impulses that repeatedly appear in a person’s mind. Again and again, the person experiences disturbing thoughts, such as “My hands must be contaminated; I need to wash them”; “I may have left the gas stove on; I need to go check it fast”; I am going to injure my child by accident; I need to be very careful or else something bad will happen.” On one level, he or she fears these thoughts might be true. Trying to avoid such thoughts creates great anxiety, distress and dysfunction.

     Compulsions are repetitive riturals such as hand washing, counting, checking, hoarding or arranging. An individual repeats these actions many times throughout the day and performing these actions releases anxiety, but only momentarily. People with OCD feel they mush perform these compulsive rituals or something bad will happen to them or their loved ones.

Most people at one time or another will experience obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder occurs when an individual experiences obsessions and compulsions for more than an hour each day, in a way that interferes with his or her life. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that more than 2 percent of the U.S population, or nearly one out of every 40 people, will be diagnosed with OCD at some point in their lives. The disorder is two or three times more common than schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

OCD is often described as “a disease of doubt.” Individuals living with OCD experience “pathological doubt” because they are unable to distinguish between what is possible, what is probable and what is unlikely to happen.

Who gets OCD?

People from all walks of life can get OCD. It strikes people of all social and ethnic groups and both males and females. Symptoms typically begin in childhood, the teenage years or young adulthood. The sudden appearance of OCD symptoms later in life merits a thorough medical evaluation to ensure that another illness is not the cause of these symptoms.

What causes OCD?

People with OCD can often say “why” they have obsessive thoughts or “why” they behave compulsively, but the thoughts and the behavior continue. A large body of scientific evidence suggest that OCD results from a chemical imbalance in the brain. For years, mental health professionals incorrectly assumed OCD resulted from bad parenting or personality defects. This theory has been disproven over the last few decades. People whose brains are injured sometimes develop OCD, which suggest it is a medical condition. If a placebo pill is given to people who are depressed or who experience panic attacks, nearly 40 percent say they feel better. If a placebo is given to people who experience obsessive-compulsive disorder, only about two percent say they feel better. This also suggest that OCD is a biological condition as opposed to a “personality problem.”

Genetics are thought to be very important in OCD. If you, or your parent or sibling, have OCD, there’s close to a 25 percent chance that another of your immediate family members will have it.

OCD has been found to be connected with dysfunction in certain parts of the brain, can cause the repetitive movements and rigid thinking that effects people with OCD. Successful treatment with medication or behavior therapy changes the activity in these brain regions, which decreases the symptoms of OCD. Two specific chemicals in the brain – a neurotransmitter called serotonin and a hormone called vasopressin – have also been studied by scientist who have found a link between these chemicals and OCD. Researchers believe OCD, anxiety disorders, Tourette’s and eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia, can be triggered by some of the same chemical changes in the brain.

A world-renowned expert, Judith Rapopart M.D., describes OCD by writing, ” something in the brain is stuck, like a broken record.”

Now that I have educated you on OCD, I hope that you have learned something. I got the above information  from NAMI’s website at nami.org.

I plan on blogging on one mental health diagnosis a week so I can be able to continue to educate others on mental illness. I just want to  lessen the stigma of mental illness. I am going to call it an evening. Peace Out!!

Mental Health Araweness Week; Day 7: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) & Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

It’s Day 7 of Mental Health Awareness Week. That means it is the last day and I struggled with what I wanted to discuss today. I really wanted to discuss another diagnosis as well as recovery. With much discussion and consideration with different people in my life, I have chosen to not only talk about Recovery but Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as well. I chose these two topics because I at one time was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and because I have worked so hard in recovery I no longer meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). So you can see the topics of Recovery and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can go hand and hand for me.

I will discuss Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) first. From here on out for the remainder of this blog, Borderline Personality Disorder will be written as BPD. The following information on BPD I got from National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website at nami.org.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness that can be challenging for everyone involved, including the individuals with the illness, as well their friends and family members. BPD is characterized by impulsivity and instability in mood, self-image, and personal relationships. The treatments and longer-term studies of BPD offer hope for good outcomes for most individuals who live with BPD. Ideas to name the condition in a manner that better describes the patter of concerns (e.g., Emotion Dysregulation Disorder) have been advanced but no name change to the condition is planned for the release of DSM-5.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and how is it diagnosed?

Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosed by mental health professionals following a comprehensive psychiatric interview that may include talking with a person’s previous clinicians, review of prior records, a medical evaluation, and when appropriate, interviews with friends and family. There is no specific single medical test (e.g., blood test) to diagnose BPD and a diagnosis is not based on  a single sign or symptom. Rather, BPD is diagnosed by a mental health professional based on patterns of thinking and behavior in an individual. Some people may have “borderline personality traits” which means that they do not meet the criteria for diagnosis with BPD but have some of the symptoms associated with this illness.

Individuals with BPD usually have several of the following symptoms, many which are detailed in the DSM-IV-TR:

  • Marked mood swings with periods of intense depressed mood, irritability and/or anxiety last a few hours to a few days (but not in the context of full-blown episode of major depressive disorder or bipolar disorder).
  • Inappropriate, intense or uncontrollable anger.
  • Impulsive behaviors that result in adverse outcomes and psychological distress, such as excessive spending, sexual encounters, substance use, shoplifting, reckless driving or binge eating.
  • Recurring suicidal threats or non-suicidal self-injurious behavior such as cutting on one’s self.
  • Unstable, intense personal relationships, sometimes alternating between “all good,” idealization, and “all bad,” devaluation.
  • Persistent uncertainty about self-image, long-term goals, friendships and values.
  • Chronic boredom or feelings of emptiness.
  • Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment.

Borderline Personality Disorder is relatively common – about 1 in 20 or 25 individuals will live with this condition. Historically, BPD has been thought to be significantly more common in females, however recent research suggest that males may almost as frequently affect by BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosed in people from each race, ethnicity and economic status.

What is the cause of Borderline Personality Disorder?

The exact causes of BPD remain unknown, although the roles of both environmental and biological factors are though to play a role in people who develop this illness. While no specific gene has been shown to directly cause BPD, a number of different genes have been identified as playing a role in its development. The brain’s functioning, as seen in MRI testing, is often different in people with BPD, suggesting that there is a neurological basis for some of the symptoms associated with BPD.

Neuroimaging studies are not clinically helpful at this time to make the diagnosis and are research tools. A number of hormones (including oxytocin) and signaling molecules within the brain (e.g., neurotransmitters including serotonin) have been shown to potentially play a role in BPD. People who experience traumatic life events (e.g., physical or sexual abuse during childhood) are at increased risk of developing BPD, as are people with certain chronic medical illnesses in childhood.

The connection between BPD and other mental illnesses is well established. People with BPD are at increased risk for anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, eating disorders, and substance abuse. BPD is often misdiagnosed and many people find they wait years to get a proper diagnosis, which leads to a better care plan.

Many people with Borderline Personality Disorder have a first-degree relative with a serious mental illness (e.g., bipolar or schizophrenia). This is likely due to both genetic and environmental factors.

Now that I have bored you about BPD, I want to thank you for reading to this point. Again, I got the following information from NAMI’s website at nami.org.  I will now continue on with the next part of my blog.

The next part of the discussion is Recovery. According to the Webster’s dictionary Recovery is defined as following: noun: The process of combating a disorder (such as alcoholism) or a real or perceived problem. Now that you know the definition of Recovery, I can tell you how recovery looks to me especially when it comes to BPD.

Recovery has been a long and difficult process for me. In fact recovery is a lifelong process for people with any mental health diagnosis. For me, my recovery process in regards to my mental illness (not the eating disorders I struggled with) started 11 years ago this month (October or 2003) when I went into a two year intensive outpatient Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) program. When I was in DBT I learned on ways to learn how to deal with my intense emotions. Most of the emotions I was dealing with and still deal with on occasion, I learn as a child to hold them in. So, holding in my emotions I ended up self-harming by cutting myself. I’m getting a little off topic, when I was in the DBT program I learned the proper skills or tools I needed to express my emotions appropriately. Because I learned how to express my emotions in an appropriate manner I was able to hold down a job at the same employer for 9 1/2 year as well take the training and examination to become a Certified Peer Support Specialist (aka Peer Counselor). Not only was I employed at the same employer for 9 1/2 years I was able to quit that job and become  Consumer Aide with Peer Counselor responsibilities at a mental health agency.

Yes, after I graduated the DBT program I continued with my previous job as well as sought out a new therapist. I have had my current therapist for 6 years this December. My current therapist Diana (pseudonym) and have worked endlessly with the pain of my past. She is the one that encouraged me to get my peer certification as well getting my new job as a Consumer Aide. Diana and the DBT program I graduated from in November of 2005 have played a key role in my recovery. In fact I have come to rely on myself as well as my friends and a select family members as well as people I consider family more than I do my own treatment team. Diana, my current therapist, is the one who declared me a recovered Borderline. As of the summer of last year (2013) I know longer meet the criteria of Borderline. My natural support system will see to that I will never get the diagnosis of BPD back. In fact my natural supports are a key to my recovery.

The reason why they are key to my recover is because like I said earlier recovery is a life long process. See I deal with other mental health diagnoses like the ones I have shared with you this past week. In fact I struggle with a few other diagnoses and will continue to educate you on those tomorrow. Going back to the topic, most mental illness’s are life long. Most of the personality disorders are the only mental health diagnoses you can eventually no longer meet the criteria for and Borderline is one of them. Yes, I will most likely struggle from time to time with my other mental health diagnosis however I have great friends and family as well as a therapist that are all invested in my recovery. They wont give up on me nor will they allow me to give up on myself.

Now that I have practically written a chapter or two of a book I better let you all go. I will continue to keep educating you on different diagnosis’s. I will continue with the ones that deal with. Have a great rest of your weekend I hope that I have educated you all on mental illness during Mental Health Awareness Week. I hope you all will continue to read and/or follow my blog. I hope I was able to convey to you this week that I was hoping to and hope to be able to convey more to you all in other blogs. Thanks for reading. Please do not hesitate to share my blog on social media site just as long as it is done in a respectful manner. Again thank you for reading. It means a great deal to me that you read my blog.

I should really let you go. I will blog again tomorrow and yes I will be blogging about another mental health diagnosis. It will be one that I have been diagnosed with. Again, thank you for reading. Peace out and enjoy your weekend.

Figuring Out How To Succeed At Blogging

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday!!!! Apparently, I’m not reaching as many people as I hoped I would be. I only have 15 followers and don’t get many views. I am just getting frustrated with myself because I am not blogging as regularly as I was wanting to as well as not doing much educating when it comes to mental illness. I was hoping that I would educate people on particular mental health diagnoses but it appears that something is getting in my way in doing that. That something is me. I’m the one that is hindering the progression of this blog. On the positive side, I know that through my blog that I am showing others that recovery is possible (or at least I think I am).

My thinking was (and still is) when I started this blog was to show others that recovery is possible and that their is hope. I know that my blog is succeeding to a point when it comes to showing others that recovery is possible but it’s not succeeding in other ways. Its not succeeding in the number of followers or views I have or get and I think the reason being is the reason I stated earlier in this blog and that is the education part of it. I am hoping that once things start settling down with the new job as well as the new volunteer job that I will be able to start the education part of this blog. It is my hope that I will educate on the diagnosis’s that I have as well the ones I no longer meet the criteria for. I then hope to do some education on the diagnoses that family members and close friends struggle with and then go on from there.

Now that you heard enough about how my blog is not succeeding let get on to other subjects. I will start with my boyfriend. When he got off from work this morning I had made him breakfast. I made him pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs. According to my boyfriend I burned the bacon. He pretty much likes eating bacon raw or at least almost raw. He likes all the fat on it. I do have to say that the fat on the bacon is what makes bacon taste good. After eating breakfast and doing dishes we had some intimate moments. Intimacy is something I personally struggle with because of some severe trauma I experienced as a child and even some trauma I experienced as an adult. With that being said my boyfriend makes me feel safe especially during intimate moments. He is gentle with me and extremely loving.

Speaking of loving, I am loving my new job. Yes, I know a loving partner is completely different than loving your job. I not only love my job, I enjoy it as well. My job gives me great joy even though its not the position I desire. In regards to it not being the position I desire its a foot in the door as well as moving up opportunities.

Since we are on the topic of opportunities, my volunteer job at the Warm Line gives me training opportunities as well as possible career advancement at my current employer and possibly at the Crisis Line where the Warm Line is run out of. Yes, I know what I just said sounds a little selfish but if what I do employment wise as well as volunteering gives me a purpose in life then so be it. I’m improving with being a call taker on the Warm Line and am no longer a deer in head lights. I am finally getting in the grove of things as a call taker.

I so want to share more with you right now but I realize I am hungry and need to figure out what I want to cook for dinner. I’m hoping that my boyfriend will give me some idea’s. Actually, I am hoping that he will do the cooking tonight.  Well, have a good Friday evening everyone. I hope everyone enjoys there weekend and has some fun. Peace out.

Difficult Day At Work

Posted on by Gertie

Well, its Tuesday evening and I’m in my third week of my new job. Today has been the most difficult day yet. The reason being is because we as in my co-workers, boss and I had to call the County Designated Mental Health Professionals (CDMHPs) on three of the residents that live in the housing project we work in. One did not get detained (or hospitalized) while the other two did get detained (hospitalized). Being detained means they were involuntarily hospitalized because of the severity of their mental health symptoms. In 72 hours (not counting weekends or holidays) the clients will go to mental health court see if they will be held for another 14 days or released. Unfortunately, there is a possibility of me having to go to mental health court on Friday. I don’t work Fridays but I was told if I have to go to court I get paid for it. I guess is the down side of working in the mental health field.

I really do like my current job. It so beats working at a grocery store for ten cents above state minimum wage and that was after being there 9 1/2 years. In my current employment I earn two dollars above the state minimum wage. I am glad I made the job change.

I should get going because my boyfriend says dinner is ready. I’m hungry so I’m going to go eat the meal my boyfriend made me. Have good Tuesday evening everyone. Peace Out!!!!

There Are No Cats In America

Posted on by Gertie

It’s Friday night and I am watching one of my favorite childhood movies, An American Tale. Watching this movie brings back a lot of happy memories for me. For people who dealt with horrific childhood trauma having a happy memory is a good thing. That’s why I titled this blog There Are No Cats In America. See one of the songs in An American Tail is titled There Are Cats In America and it so happens it’s my favorite song in the movie. I do have to say another song that I like from this movie is Somewhere Out There. In fact that song brings tears to my eyes. I really enjoy watching movies.

I’m looking at the time and in 1 minute it will officially be Saturday. Besides watching movies this weekend, I will be reading. I will be reading A Tale of Two Cities as well as a bunch of Wonder Woman comic books. I plan on having a nice relaxing weekend. I love reading and watching movies.

Well, Its officially, Saturday, and unfortunately I wont be spending most of today with my boyfriend. The reason being is that he is a Firefighter and his shifts are 24 hours. His shift starts at 7:30 am (pacific time) and ends at 7:30 am (pacific time) the next morning.  He leaves at 7am this morning (Saturday) that means he wont be back till 8 am (pacific time) Sunday morning. With him not being home that means I will be able to do a lot of reading like I mentioned earlier.

I am happy with my life. I am happy that I am with a partner that treats me right. I’m happy that he is established in his career as firefighter. I’m even more happier that I am in career that gives me meaning in my life. I really enjoy working as Consumer Aide in a mental health agency. Granted its not the exact position I would like but its a foot in the door. I love the fact that I am in the mental health field and that I can show others on what recovery from mental illness looks like. I’m happy that my boyfriend and I are in careers that we love and were meant to be in. I am beyond happy that my life is finally coming together even through the struggles of everyday life as well as the struggles with symptoms that like to pop up from time to time.

I should get going and finish watching An American Tail. Well have a good Friday night /Saturday Morning everyone. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Good night and Peace Out!!!!!!!

Ramblings About New Job & Other Stuff

Posted on by Gertie

It’s Tuesday and that means I worked today. Today, I did my shelter orientation. My boss tried to get me out of most of it due to me being a volunteer at the shelter however he couldn’t because its a requirement. He knew I had to be there for some of it but tried to out of the stuff I already knew. I am glad I did the entire orientation today. I saw a great deal of the clients that I miss dearly. When we had to do the coffee counter I dove right in because that’s what I mainly did when I was a volunteer. I also dove right in when I did the lobby office however I got to do employee stuff as well. Unfortunately, a fight broke out between two female clients and I was one of two orienteer’s that were allowed to step in. The only reason why I was allowed to step in was because I was familiar with both clients due to my volunteer work at the shelter. The other orienteer who was allowed to step in was allowed to due to her job title. She is basically on the crisis team. Thankfully, no one got hurt but the aggressor got barred till next Tuesday when the next Bar Review Committee (BRC) happens. Everyone involved had to write a log about it. It was my first time having to write a log and it was a log I really didn’t want to write.   I am really enjoying my job. I am feeling more confident with my new job.

I wish I was as confident with my new volunteer job at the Warm Line as I do with my new job. I’m like a deer in headlights. I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a call taker on the Warm Line. Yes, I know I’ve only had two shifts on the Warm Line but I’m not very good at it. My first night I only took one call and I panicked. My second shift I took three calls. One I didn’t do very well on and the other two I did okay on but need improvement. I’m hoping I do a better job tomorrow evening. The mentor on duty tomorrow is extremely humorous and tells me like it is. I’m happy with that. I really want to do a great job tomorrow. In fact I want to be able to impress mentor however I’m not there to impress him, I’m there to help the callers. My boyfriend told me to not worry about it and that I will get in the grove of things.

Speaking of my boyfriend, when I got home (to his place) he had dinner made for me. He made me enchiladas. I love enchiladas. Its one of my favorite meals. In fact my boyfriend made the tortilla’s for scratch. My boyfriend is an awesome cook. I enjoy cooking however he enjoys it more than I do so I let him cook. His cooking is almost as good as my grandma’s cooking.

I’m getting a little tired and have to get up early to go to appointments and wont be home till late due to my volunteer job at the Warm Line. I’m going to call it a night. Have a goodnight everyone and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out!!!

Just A Blog About The New Job

Posted on by Gertie

It’s an absolutely beautiful Sunday evening in my neck of the woods. So beautiful that my boyfriend and I are going to have dinner outside. We are going to have a grilled chicken salad. Of course the chicken is going to be grilled and the barbeque. I hope we have leftovers so I can take some to work tomorrow.

Speaking of work, I have to remember to take a few things with me tomorrow. A major part of my job is sitting in a little pod like office to let people in the building and that gets boring. I have to remember to take some things to read. I think I’m going to take the book “A Tale of Two Cities” because I haven’t finished reading it yet. The reason why I haven’t finished reading it is that I’ve been busy with life and trying to get a new job. Well, I have that new job and that new job will allow me to read on the job when I am on door duty. I am also going to take a Wonder Woman graphic novel with me. Its one that I have read already but I love Wonder Woman and enjoy rereading any Wonder Woman comic or graphic novel. I am debating weather or not to take some cross-stitching with me to work. I am almost finished with my current cross-stitching project. I really do think I will enjoy my new job wants I get adjusted to what I need to be doing. Plus, I have two more orientations I need to do and fortunately they are both this week. I also have to go to two trainings but the trainings I have to do are not being offered this month so I have to do them next month or whenever they offer them. The trainings I have to do are in Crisis Intervention and CPR. I have to do both every year even if my CPR card is not expired. I know that my new job isn’t the position I want but at least it’s in the field I desire and a foot in the door. Due to agency and union policy I have to be in my current position before be consider an “in-house” applicant. That’s fine with me because I want to be in my position for at least 6 months if not longer because it looks good on the resume’.

Well, I need to get going because my boyfriend said dinner is done and well I am extremely hungry. I hope to blog again sometime in the next few days. Have a wonderful Sunday evening. Peace out!!!!

It’s Been About A Week

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning!!!! It’s a beautiful day Saturday morning in the region of the United States I live in. Yes, it is still morning where I live. It happens to be 11:49am (pacific time) at the moment or least this is time my cell phone and computer say the time is where I am.

Its been about a week since I last blogged. I am extremely sorry that it has been so long that I have blogged. I’ve been busy with various things that I would love to share with you today.

Lets start with my dad. About two weeks ago my family and I were faced with a difficult decision of the possibility of take my dad off of life support or putting him on a tracheostomy. We had a week to decide and we decided to have he tracheostomy done because he was starting to improve extremely well. In fact I am extremely happy that my family and I made that decision because my dad is now in a care facility that specializes in weaning people off a ventilator. He is now off he ventilator during the day. He is on it at night just in case something happens. He is briefly standing up and sitting. Of course this is with the help of physical therapist. The biggest thing everyone is worried about is his swallowing or the lack there of. I am so happy that my dad is doing so well especially since we (as in my family and I) thought he wasn’t going to make it. I love my dad and I know that he is proud of me.

I know he is proud of me because he told me before all is this happened with his health. He is proud of me because of my new job. My new job is going well. It been nothing but orientations last week and they will continue next week. I really think I am going to enjoy my new job. It’s in the field of my desire even if it’s not the particular job I want. I want to tell you more about it but have to go.

I have to go because I have to finish my laundry and do other chores. I have to go to the stupid post office to mail stuff to social security. Oh how I love sending stuff to social security. NOT!! I have to send stuff to social security because I not only work but have disability benefits due to the mental illness I have. I hope that some day I wont need disability benefits.

Well, it is now officially afternoon. It is 12:09 pm (pacific time). Everyone have a wonderful Saturday afternoon. I hope I have time at some point today to blog more about my job. If not today, tomorrow. Peace Out!!!

Apprehension About New Job

Posted on by Gertie

     It’s another amazingly beautiful Sunday evening!!! I know it’s a beautiful day out however I am extremely apprehensive about tomorrow. I start my new job tomorrow and that is why I am so apprehensive about it. I don’t know why I am so apprehensive about starting my new job. It’s in the field I want to be in.

     My boyfriend is trying extremely hard to make sure my apprehension about the new job decreases. He fixed me my favorite meal. My favorite meal is Mac & Cheese (preferably homemade), Ham, and Corn on the Cob. We had Pepsi to drink and for dessert we had my favorite of Strawberry Shortcake. I love my boyfriend and how he tries to calm my nerves. I love the fact that he knows my favorite meal and that he made homemade Mac & Cheese. How many men out there make homemade anything for their girlfriends?

     I think I will keep this particular blog entry short. I need to make sure I have everything ready for my first day on the job tomorrow. I need to make sure I have what I need to give to my new employer. I hope to blog about my first day on the new job tomorrow evening. I really hope I am able to blog about it but not sure how tired I will be. I hope I didn’t bore you all today with this blog entry. I just hope I don’t forget anything I need for my new job. Well, I am going to call it an evening and a night. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday evening everyone. Peace out!!! 

Last Day Of Work At The Grocery Store

Posted on by Gertie

     Well, it is Saturday, September 6, 2014, 11:19pm (pacific time) and today was my last day being employed at the grocery store I was employed at for 9 1/2 years. I no longer work there because of getting a new job as a Consumer Aide at a local mental health agency that I start on Monday, September 8, 2014. I am not sure how to feel about today being my last day at the grocery store.

     The reason why I am unsure of how I am feeling is because I have a number of different emotions on board at the moment. I am a little sad that today was my last day. A little sad because I was employed at the grocery store for 9 1/2 years and my co-workers and customers have become family to me. I’m going to miss seeing them pretty much everyday. Yes, I will still hang out with my co-workers and about a hand full or so customers because they have become family. I’m also happy that today is was my last day because I know being in the grocery store business isn’t the field I was suppose to be in. Plus corporate was and is just expecting too much from there employees and some of what they expect isn’t always in the job description of the particular job class. I am also a little sad because I started working at the grocery store at the beginning of my recovery process with my mental illness.

     Of course starting my new job on Monday just means I am at a different stage in my recovery. I am at a more stable point of my recovery process. My mental illness is finally at a place where I can let people in and start trusting my natural support system. I’m not saying that I didn’t trust them, I’m saying that I had difficulty asking them for help and letting them in. I am in a good place at the moment even though I had to make a difficult decision in regards to my dads current health crisis. (Side Note: I am happy that I made the decision to have my dad get a tracheotomy.)

      Being in a good place means knowing when I am getting tired. I am really tired and need some sleep. Needing some sleep means I need to end the blog for now. It is 11:35pm (pacific time). Have goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace out!!!