Tag Archives: Books

Goals for the Week

Posted on by Gertie

As some of you know, as part of blogging 101 I joined a blogging event. The event I decided to be a part of focus’s on goals. I chose this event because it best corresponds on what my blog is about. So here are my goals for the week with explanation:

1) Write my sponsored child. I haven’t written her in a while and need to. I will most likely send her one of the many post cards I bought specifically to send to her.

2) Sign up for shifts at the young adult shelter I volunteer at. It has been three weeks since my last shift at the homeless shelter.

3) Start reading Speaker of the Dead by Orson Scott Card I love to read and recently finished Enders Game by Orson Scott Card. One of my goals for 2015 is to read twelve books and so far I have only read one book.

4) Figure out what day I want to do my blogging feature. I hope that once I choose a day then I can start doing research for the blogging feature.

5) Work on cross-stitch for 15 minutes. I have taken up cross-stitching and yet to finish the particular piece I am currently working on.

6) Color. While on vacation, I bought be a coloring poster (about 8inch by 12inch) to color. It is a detailed poster and will take me a while. I hope to be able to share the finished product when I am done.

All of the my goals this week ultimately help me and my recovery. The goals I have chosen this week give me some relaxation, and a sense of giving back to my community and yes that help with my recovery.

Before I go the following link is the event I am a part of: http://greenembe.rs/2015/07/27/building-rome-week-30-for-2015/ Have a great day everyone. I hope you all have a great work week. I know I am. Peace Out!!!

107 Questions With 107 Answers

Posted on by Gertie

I got the idea for this post from another blog, which I of course follow. Thank you Marci over at http://marcimentalhealthmore.com/  It means a great deal to be able to share ideas (and sometimes even still them with permission of course) with other bloggers. Yes, I did add, change not include some questions so I could make it geared more to my blog. .

1. Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging for two reasons: 1) to educate those who don’t have a mental illness in hope to lessen the stigma that goes along with it. 2) to show others who do struggle with mental illness that recovery is possible and there is hope.

2. How did you come up with the title of your blog?

I came up with the title, Gertie’s Journey because Gertie is my nickname and I would be discussing my journey along the way.

3. Why not use your real name in your title?

I originally didn’t use my real name because of the stigma that goes with having a mental illness. I now don’t use my real name because I work in the mental health field and need to protect my privacy.

4. Does that mean you have a mental illness?

Yes!!

5. What are your diagnoses?

As of right now my diagnoses are Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), PTSD, OCD and ADHD. So, I’m an Alphabet Soup.  At one point in time I was diagnosed  with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I no longer meet the criteria of BPD and consider myself a Recovered Borderline.

6. Do you consider yourself in recovery?

Yup, I do!!!

7. What do you do to stay in recovery?

Most importantly, I make sure I see my therapist and psychiatric nurse practitioner (ARNP) on the regular basis. I take my meds as prescribed daily. I make sure I go about my regular routine even if I’m struggling. I exercise on the regular basis.

8. How are you, really?

Overall, I am doing pretty good despite having high anxiety due to PTSD symptoms.

9. How are you feeling right now? What are you thinking about?

Umm….I think I just answered this. If you can’t remember go back to the previous question (as I say sarcastically). I’m thinking about what I’m going to have for dinner. I’m also thinking about working on scrapbooks I’m making for people for their holiday gifts. Yes, I know the holidays are six months away.

10. What is your favorite color?

Purple

11. What is your favorite food?

Mac & Cheese, Strawberries, Mexican Food

12. What is your favorite dessert?

Strawberry short cake and peach cobbler

13. How old are you?

Somewhere between 30 and 39. (Said sarcastically) Honestly, I am in my mid-30’s.

14.  What have you learned today?

I learned about Buddhism and meditation from a book I am reading about Buddhism.

15. What do you do?

I am a Consumer Advocate in a supportive housing program at local mental health agency.

16. What are some of your favorite books?

Enders Game by Orson Scott Card; The Stand by Stephen King and J.A Jance books. I also like many poems by Maya Angelou, Langston Hughes and Emily Dickenson

17. Who are some of your favorite authors?

Orson Scott Card, Stephen King, J.A Jance, Emily Dickenson, Langston Hughes and Maya Angelou

18. What are some of your favorite movies?

BIG, Speed, It’s Kind of a Funny Story, comedies, horror, and many movies Robin Williams is in.

19. Who are some of your favorite actors?

Robin Williams, Winona Ryder, Betty White, and Will Smith

20. What kind of music are you into?

I like 80’s and 90’s music and I also like Punk Rock, Grunge, and alternative.

21. Who are some of your favorite musicians?

Nirvana, Tori Amos, K.D. Lang, Kurt Cobian, Amy Grant, Tears for Fears, Journey, Queen, AC DC, and I can continue on my favorite musicians but wont.

22. If you’re going to write a book, what would it be about?

It would be memoir of my life with a mental illness and my recovery.

23. What’s the scariest thing you have ever done?

I think it would have to be starting my recovery with both the eating disorders and my mental health diagnoses.

24. What accomplishment are you most proud of?

Graduating high school, getting my peer specialist certification and being in recover with my mental illness.

25. How did you meet your fiancé?

I don’t remember meeting my fiancé but will tell you how we met. We first met when I had attempted suicide and one of my housemates found me unresponsive and called 911. He was one of the firefighters on duty who responded to the call.

26. Do you have any children?

Sadly, no

27. Have you thought about fostering or adopting?

Yup, Junior and myself want to do foster care in hope of adopting the foster child/ren.

28. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a teacher.

29. What profession are you currently in?

I am in the mental health field.

30. How did you get into your profession?

I got into the field because I have my own mental health issues and want to be an example of what recovery looks like. Plus, I have a peer specialist certification.

31. Would you recommend your profession to other people? Why / Why not?

Honestly, it depends who the person would be because not everyone is fit to work in the mental health field.

32. What do you do for fun?

Camp, hike, rollerblade, walk, read, blog, watch movies, do jigsaw puzzles, do Sudoku puzzles, scrapbook, go to sporting events especially baseball games, going to concerts, listening to music, hang out with friends and select family members, and volunteer.

33. Do you like traveling?

I love it.

34. If you could visit any country in the world, where would you go and why?

Its a tie between Ireland, Australia and New Zealand. I would like to go to Ireland because I am half Irish and its part of my heritage. I want to go to Australia and New Zealand because I learned about it summer school between the 3rd and 4th grades and grew fascinated with both countries.

35. Who are some people you’d like to meet someday?

President Obama, Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, and Sigmund Freud

36. If you could go back in history, who would you like to meet?

Refer to the previous question with the exception of President Obama since he is still alive.

37. If someone asked you to give them a random piece of advice, what would you say?

The future belong to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

38. What’s one of your favorite habits you have?

Going for a daily walk listening to music.

39. What are some things that make you really happy?

Sunny days, humor, my brother, my fiancé, nature, water, and my job

40. What are some things that make you really sad?

My miscarriages, most of my childhood, and how I have treated people in the height of my mental illness.

41. What are some things that scare you?

My PTSD symptoms I deal with on the daily basis. The mental health symptoms I deal with when I’m in crisis.

42. Do you like to plan things out in detail or be spontaneous?

I like both planning things and out and being spontaneous.

43. Are you a religious person?

No but I do consider myself Spiritual. I am on a Spiritual journey and looking into various faiths at this particular stage in my life.

44. Would you rather live in the country or in the city?

I am a city person. I love living in the city.

45. What was your life like growing up?

It wasn’t the best of childhoods.

46. What were you like in high school?

Depends on who you ask.

47. Do you have any brothers or sisters? How many?

Yes, I do. I have one half brother.

48. What’s your favorite part about today, so far?

The sunny weather, the strawberry shortcake I had and reading about Buddhism.

49. Who in your life has influenced you the most? How did they do it?

I’ve had many people who have influenced my life throughout my life and how those people did it is as unique as they are as people.

50. Have you ever tried sushi? (Did you like it?)

No, I have not tried sushi and never plan on trying it.

51. Do you like spicy food?

The spicier the better!!!!

52. How do you like your steak cooked?

Some pink but not a lot of pink.

53. If you were a type of animal, what would you be and why?

I think I would like to be an Orca because they are beautiful, intelligent animals and they get to be in the water all day.

54. What’s one of the strangest things you’ve ever done?

What are you talking about? Everything I do is strange because I am strange.

55. What kind of vacations do you like?

I love camping and any vacation I can learn something new.

56. What are some of your major goals in life?

To continue on my journey of recovery with mental illness.

57. What are some of your smaller goals in life?

To update my résumé and apply for peer support specialist jobs.

58. What do you like least about yourself?

The scars on my arms, legs and torso due to when I use to self harm.

59. What embarrasses you?

My speech impediment especially the stuttering (Its pretty much under control now but it acts up when I am under stress), being in little kid mode and being in a dissociated state.

60. If you could try out any job for a day, what would you like to try?

Being a psychiatrist.

61. What’s your earliest memory?

When I was three and my mom abandoning me.

62. What’s the best decision you ever made?

Being in recovery and choosing to stay in recovery. Trusting my gut with being in a romantic relationship with my fiancé, Junior.

63. Who’s your best / closest friend?

My fiancé, and three people I grew up with and/or went to high school with.

64. What do you think people think of you?

I don’t want to think what others think of me.

65. What were your grades like in school?

They weren’t the best in the world, mainly because of learning disabilities and/or mental health issues.

66. If you could learn one random skill, what would you learn?

To learn American Sign Language (ASL), Spanish and German.

67. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

I’m a little of both.

68. Have you ever taken a personality test? (How did the results turn out?)

Honestly, I’m not sure because, I’ve I had so many different test throughout my life that they all kind of run together. I must have if I was diagnosed for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I am really grateful I no longer meet the criteria for Borderline.

69. Do you enjoy the particular sexual pose of what the number of this question is?

Very much so!!!!!

70. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I notice both a persons eyes and smile.

71. Do you think people can control their own destiny?

To a degree, yes.

72. Do you think all people are equally valuable, or do you think some people in certain situations might be more valuable than others (say, a severely mentally ill patient vs. a doctor who could potentially save hundreds of lives)?

Define value!!

73. Do you think people are basically bad or basically good?

This is a difficult question for me to answer due to the fact that there are many factors to consider.

74. Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, and practices of individuals or groups?

I think it I need to know more before I could answer this question.

75. Do you think God exists?

Another complicated question. Yes, I do think that there is a spiritual being out there. I just don’t know who he, she or they are.

76. Do you think any kind of afterlife exists?

Yup, I am positive there is an afterlife.

77. Do you vote? Why / Why not? If you do vote, how do you usually vote?

Yes, I vote and I don’t disclose how I vote.

78. Do you think gay people choose to be gay? Do you think straight people choose to be straight?

I don’t think we choose our sexual orientation.

79. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when?

Torture is NEVER a good option for any reason.

80. Would you kill an innocent person if you thought it might mean saving a dozen other people?

I would never kill an innocent person.

81. What’s the most money you’ve ever given away?

I rather not disclose. The amount I give away to a charity or person is between me and the charity or person.

82. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve ever made?

Choosing to be in recovery.

83. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?

I’ve done many stupid things that I cant just name one thing.

84. What do you think would be one of the best steps we could take toward ending poverty around the world?

This is a loaded question and difficult to answer. It is something I will have to ponder about.

85. What do you think we could do to best improve the education system?

Pay teachers more, smaller class sizes and bring back fine and preforming arts.

86. In general, what do you think about art?

I love it.

87. What are some of your favorite websites?

Any website that I am able to learn something on.

88. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?

That my ex-step dad wasn’t abusing me when he actually was.

89. What’s something most people don’t know about you?

I cry myself to sleep because I miss the babies I lost through miscarriages.

90. What’s something you wish everyone knew about you?

I love being able to help others.

91. What are some of the first things you do in the morning?

Go to the bathroom, take a shower, eat and take my meds.

92. What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?

Loosing two sets of twins within 14 months of each other due to miscarriage.

93. Do you cry easily?

No.

94. How do you feel about public speaking?

I hate it.

95. Do you like to talk on the phone?

Its better than texting.

96. How many emails do you get each week, roughly?

Depends what account. I have a work email, a personal email, a professional email and an email for this blog.

97. If someone were to make a movie about your life, who would you hope would play you?

I wouldn’t want my life made into a movie so I hope nobody plays me.

98. What’s one of your favorite questions to ask new friends or to get a conversation going?

It depends on the situation I am in.

99. Would you ever sky dive or bungee jump?

I have always wanted to sky dive. When I was younger I wanted to bungee jump but as I get older it becomes less appealing.

100. Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Yup, in junior high.

101. What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled?

My senior prank in high school.

102. What did you do on your 16th birthday?

My friends had a surprise party for me.

103. What do you think is one of the most undervalued professions right now?

Teaching and any profession in the mental health field.

104. How would you explain your basic life philosophy?

When I look back on my life I rather regret the things I do than the things I don’t do.

105. Would you rather be hated or forgotten?

Neither

106. If you knew you would die tomorrow, would you feel cheated today?

I don’t want to know when I am going to die.

107. Now, how do you honestly feel after answering all these questions?

Exhausted but overall still doing well.

What Can I Say, It’s Mothers Day

Posted on by Gertie

As many of you know it’s Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is a source of pain for many us out there in this world of ours. The cause of the pain of Mother’s Day is as different and unique as each of us are as human beings.

For me Mother’s Day has been a source of pain since childhood. A source of pain I wish I could forget or at least no longer be as painful as it has been and currently is. I guess now is as good of time as any to bring up the source of many years of pain, my own mother.

The first memory I have of my childhood was not exactly the happiest and you guessed it, it involves my mother. I was the tender age of three when my mom did what many mothers would not even give a thought; she abandoned me. She didn’t just abandon me, she abandoned my dad. A dad that wasn’t exactly the worlds most perfect dad but a dad that loved me and tried the best of his ability to raise me. With my dad being a single father, that made realize how truly special my own grandmother was in my life.

If it wasn’t for my grandparents helping my dad, my dad wouldn’t have gotten custody of me when my mom decided to reappear into our lives two years late when I was five. At this point in time my dad had already gotten divorced my mom and got custody of me due to the fact that my mom abandoned me. In fact the lawyer that my wonderful grandparents got for my dad to make sure he remained the primary caregiver pointed out to the judge that if mother could leave her sick three year old alone at night as her husband was working didn’t deserve to have custody. Unforantenly, the judge to granted my mother visitation. The visitation was a complicated thing due to the fact that my dad and myself lived in Southern California and my mother lived in Western Washington.

Due to the visitation I spent my summers and Christmas’s in Washington State and the rest of the year in California. That meant as Mother’s Day rolled around, I was going to mother/daughter tea’s with my  grandmother. As I got older it got that much more difficult.

It got more difficult because mother started dating a guy who wasn’t exactly prince charming. He not only beat my mom but decided to take out his anger on me as well. He not only took out his anger me but also desired me in a way grown adults shouldn’t desire children of any age. Yes, that means I was sexually abused. Actually, I was raped by this man. I was put through years of it before he just upped and left my mom and brother.

In fact if it wasn’t for my brother, I would have asked to go to court to ask the judge to take away my mother’s visitation rights away from her. In fact I would have asked the judge to take away her parental rights away. If I would have that means my brother would have ended up in foster care  again and me no longer being able to see him. In fact my brother and I are close and we both call our mother, our egg donor because that is what she ultimately is to the both of us.

Despite all the pain my mother caused me throughout my life, there is a different pain I struggle with. That is the pain of loosing a child. In fact in my case, it’s children. I miscarried two sets of twins within 14 months of each other. This year Mother’s Day is more difficult for me than last year because we (myself, my fiancé, doula, and doctor) were more hopeful and encouraged about how my last pregnancy was progressing verses how my first pregnancy had progressed. I cant help but think how big my first set of twins would be if I didn’t miscarry them. I also cant help but think about my last pregnancy, if I didn’t miscarry back in January (of this year). I wonder if I would still be pregnant or if I would have delivered the twins because this set of twins were due on May 29th (of this year). As any parent knows, there is no greater pain a person can endure than loosing a child. I unfortunately, lost two sets of twins. As much pain I endured as child, the pain of miscarrying two pregnancies is a much great pain to me. The children I miscarried will always be a part of me.

As you can tell by this lengthy blog, Mother’s Day is quite painful for me for many different reasons. As you celebrate your mother’s or are being celebrated as a mother please take a moment of gratitude for the mother you have and/or the child(ren) you have. Not everyone has the blessing of having mother who cares or (a) child(ren) to take care of and love.

Before I end this blog, I would like to take the time out and wish all the Mother’s out there a Happy Mother’s Day. I would especially like to thank my grandma as well as others in my life to stepping into the mother role when I needed it the most. Happy Mother’s Day.

Being Celebrated On My Birthday

Posted on by Gertie

Today, is another Saturday. A Saturday that I wish wasn’t all about me. See, today (March 7th) is my birthday. Birthdays are usually a joyous time for people and most likely not difficult for the birthday person to be celebrated.

I have difficulties with people celebrating me even if it is my birthday. I am not use to it due to my childhood and the trauma I suffered as a child.  The thing is I am no longer a child and I choose the people I have in my life.

I choose the people I have in my life because of my not so good childhood. The people currently in my life are good to me. They love me and care about me. I may have chosen the people in my life but I still feel like I don’t deserve to have them in my life. I have to remember that no matter how difficult my childhood was, that I still deserve to have people in my life that love me for who I am.

It is because of who I am that the people in my life celebrated me today because it was the day I was born. They know that no matter how I feel or what I think that I deserve to be celebrated. Celebrated like everyone should be celebrated.

My birthday started out by my little brother calling me at 12 midnight wishing me a Happy Birthday. My dad then called me at 12:36 am to wish me a Happy Birthday. My dad called me at 12:36 in the morning because today is my 36th birthday.

It being my 36th birthday my fiancé got me three dozen (36) purple roses. Junior got me the purple roses because purple is my favorite color and well he wanted to make sure my day started off well. I am grateful that he was and is so thoughtful.

Right beside the rose’s were baseball tickets to the first two home games to the Seattle Mariners. Junior made sure that I will attend opening day because the Seattle Mariners are playing my favorite team the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. I am so looking forward to seeing a good baseball game against two of my favorite teams. I do have to say that I always root for the  Angels. Junior also got tickets for the second Mariner home game. Yes, the Mariners will be playing the Angels. Junior knows me well enough that when it comes to gifts I prefer experiences over things which is not only why he got be baseball tickets but planned what happened next in my day.

Junior planned a surprise party for me. He planned it extremely well. Junior had invited a number of my friends to the party. In fact he even invited two childhood friends of mine that I knew in California and now live in the Seattle area. Not only did they show up but had various childhood friends mail them cards to give them to me today. Junior also invited people I went to high school with. My high school friends even did the card thing as well. I was surprised as hell that Junior planned the party for me. Actually, I am more surprised that he was able to keep it a secret because he is NOT very good at keeping secrets.

Some how he was able to not only plan the party but able to keep it a secret. Junior had his mom and other family member make an authentic Mexican meal for me. I love Mexican food and Junior knows that. I am also grateful that Junior is Mexican and that his family doesn’t care that I am white and that my family doesn’t care that he is Mexican. I am happy with my relationship and that our families can embrace each others cultures.

Not only was I blessed with Mexican food but was blessed with many other gifts. I received many books as well as a gift card to Barnes and Noble. I also got Wonder Woman pajama’s and many Wonder Woman comic books. I also received a three day pass to Emerald City Comic-con. I of course will be going to the comic-con with one of my best friends.

If it wasn’t for the friends I choose to be in my life and consider family, I would have not had a great birthday like I did today. I may feel like I don’t deserve it but I sure appreciated being loved and cared about. All the people who are currently in my life caring about me don’t give a shit that I have a mental illness. They care about me because I am me and that is why they made sure I had an awesome birthday.

I have less than three hours of my birthday left and I am going to spend the rest of it with Junior. We will be watching movies and most likely be having some intimate moments. I better get going. Have a good night and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out!!

A Lazy Friday

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday!!! Today has been a lazy Friday for me. Thankfully, the weather cooperated with it being a rainy yucky day out. It gave me an excuse to read most of the day. Of course I had music playing in the background as I read. I of course did other things besides read and listen to Christmas music all day. I worked on a Jigsaw puzzle with my boyfriend while listening to Christmas music. We also had some very intimate moments and no we weren’t listening to music. The best part of the day was when my boyfriend fixed me biscuits and gravy and scrambled eggs. I love biscuits and gravy. My boyfriend and I baked chocolate cake, an apple pie, a pumpkin pie and baklava. Of course we had the Christmas music blaring the entire time baking. As you can tell I didn’t get much accomplished today and that’s fine with me.

Even though today was not an accomplished day, yesterday felt like one after I attended a training that my volunteer job put on. In fact its one of the perks of volunteering at the Warm Line is being able to take various types of training that they offer. I guess its a plus that the Warm Line is under the umbrella of the local Crisis Line because of the free trainings. The training was about how Social Justice and what types of things get in the way of how we view ourselves and others and how people cope. I thought is was going to be more geared toward the LGBTQ but it wasn’t and I was disappointed with that. Yes, there was a discussion in the training on LGBTQ but the trainings focus wasn’t entirely on LGBTQ like I was hoping it was going to be. Oh well. I did enjoy it a lot and learned a great deal about myself and others as well as how others may view me. I believe this training will not only help me in my volunteer job at the Warm Line but my current employment as Consumer Aide.

Since we are on the topic of my current employment I am really enjoying it. Its nice to finally have a job that I love with every cell of who I am and knowing that I am making a difference in someone’s life. It’s nice to actually show other’s that recovery from a mental illness is possible.

Recovery for me is so much more fun than not being in recovery. I say this because I am able to enjoy days like today. Through recovery I am learning how much I am able to handle through the holidays. For many people the holidays are extremely difficult especially for those who struggle with a mental illness. I know for me that the holidays will never be easy however I can learn different ways to cope with them as well as to enjoy them and make my own traditions. A tradition that I have started is that I want my Christmas tree to tell people my story or who I am through the ornaments I have on it. Of course most of them are Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments. My grandparents started that when I was born. In fact I get an ornament or two from them every year. One happens to be in a series and started the year I was born. I think that tells a part of who I am. I usually buy between 2 to 4 ornaments a year for my tree plus the one or two my grandparents get me. My tree always looks empty due to the fact of the lack of ornaments it has. I really want my tree to tell people on who I am. Another thing I do is volunteer at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving. See, being in recovery means dealing with the pain of your past with new traditions.

The holidays are not easy for me because I was severely and horrifically abuse as a child my moms (now ex) boyfriend. This (ex) boyfriend happens to be my little brothers father. Anyway, this dude did unthinkable and disgusting things to me. I guess that’s why I tend to struggle during the holidays. I am just happy that I haven’t had a major issue in three years.

I’m grateful that my boyfriend and others have helped me out the last three years. In fact I’ve had many people on my side to make sure I haven’t had a major issue the last three years. These people were there for me when I did have major issues three years ago. Having a great support system is key to being in recovery.

Well its no longer Friday and my boyfriend who happens to be part of my support system wants to have some intimate time. Intimate time usually means sex. I am really happy that I am able to trust him and feel safe with him to have sex.

Since its no longer Friday and my boyfriend and I want to have an intimate moment, I best be going. Have goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. I would say enjoy the rest of your Friday but its now Saturday so enjoy your Saturday as well as your weekend. Peace Out!!

Late Night Hump Day (Wednesday) Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Hump Day!!! Or what’s left of Hump Day. Can you believe that people are unaware that Hump Day is actually Wednesday?

It may still be just another Hump Day (Wednesday) and I have a lot on my mind. At this point in time I am not sure how long or short this blog may be tonight. My mind is full of stuff that I want to discuss with you all but not sure if I will be able to convey it the way I want or if I’m going to be too tired to continue blogging once I get going. I guess I will just go with the flow with this particular blog entry due to the fact of I’m wanting to blog more in hopes to get more followers and/or readers because I want to educate people on mental illness as well as show people who due struggle with a mental illness that recovery is possible.

I might as well as update you all on my new job. I am still loving it. This past Monday (November 17, 2014) I started a Coloring Group. I only had three clients in attendance but it was more than I thought I was going to have. Cool thing about the coloring group is that coloring is one of my Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills. I am hoping that it will eventually become an Art Group. Can you believe it’s been almost three months since I found out I got my current job as a Consumer Aide? Even if you can believe it, I’m still having a hard time believing it and I’ve been working as a Consumer Aide for two and a half months now. I really wasn’t sure I was going to get the job but I am so happy that I got the job for many different reasons.

One of those reasons why I am happy I got my current job is because the holidays are coming up. See my previous employer was at a grocery store. Grocery stores are pure hell to work in during the holidays due to all the food people are buying. The worst time to work at grocery store is the week of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving week is what we call hell week. Hell week usually begins the Saturday before Thanksgiving. The worst day to work is usually the Wednesday before Thanksgiving because its so freakin busy. Working Thanksgiving sucked but at least the customers show gratitude unlike the day before Thanksgiving. Working Black Friday was hell as well because grocery store are usually dead (extremely slow) because everyone is either sleeping in or at retail stores getting “major deals” on items that they may want.

Since we are on the topic of Thanksgiving lets discuss it. Thanksgiving is going to be a little different this year. My boyfriend and I are going to host it at his place. So both his family and my family are going to be in attendance. Mainly because my family (particularly my dad’s side) were trying to make it an “obligation” for me to be in attendance. I highly dislike when both sides of my family do this to me. I’ve been dealing with the issue of what side I’m going to spend what holiday with since I was 3 years old. I am now in my mid thirties. It was much easier when I was under the age of 18 because at least I could say what do the custody papers say. The only reason why I am looking forward to Thanksgiving this year is because I get to spend with my boyfriend, his family and my lil brother.

Another thing I am looking forward to is training I am going to tomorrow. The training I am going to has nothing to do with my current employment but it can help me with future employment opportunities. In fact it is a training that my volunteer job is putting on. Actually, its the local crisis line that is putting it on. See, I volunteer at a local peer run Warm Line and the Warm Line is under the umbrella of the local Crisis Line. The training is available for all the volunteers and staff. In fact the training is on Practicing Social Justice and the topic or discussion will be on the LGBTQ community and mental illness. I’m looking forward to this training for my own reasons. Those reasons aren’t just because it will be helpful but because I consider myself part of the LGBTQ community because I am bi-sexual. Actually, I think I am more pansexual than bi-sexual. I am looking forward to the training tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, tomorrow is almost here.

One thing I am also hoping to do tomorrow is to start reading the book “Catch 22.” I am putting “A Tale of Two Cities” on hold for a moment because I’m having difficulty getting into it. The reason why is the how it’s written and it is triggering my dyslexia. I was finding “A Tale of Two Cities” enjoyable but wanted to put it down for a while. I will pick it back up after I read “Catch 22.”

I have a great deal more I would like to discuss with you but I am getting tired. I am hoping to blog again tomorrow. It is still Hump Day (Wednesday) and am going to call it a night. Enjoy the last two minutes of Hump Day (Wednesday).  Good night and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out!!

100th Blog

Posted on by Gertie

Writing this particular blog is a major milestone; a milestone in the fact that it is my 100th blog. Blogging on the subject of Mental Illness hasn’t been an easy feat. It hasn’t been easy for me to write on the topic of mental illness due to my own struggles with it and the lack of education. I have the lack of education to convey what I desire to tell you in regards to mental illness. Due to my struggles with mental illness I was unable to go to college and now it’s the lack of funds that I am unable to attend college. On the flip side, I am able to convey how one feels as well as how one deals when one struggles with a mental illness. I am however able to convey something on mental illness that and “educated” person cannot because I live with one. Who better to educate others on mental illness than those who struggle with one? Well, maybe those who not only struggle with a mental illness but have an education in field that deals with mental illness.

Dealing with a mental illness is not an easy thing to deal with because of the struggles one must have to endure when it comes to symptoms.  Learning to deal with the symptoms of a mental health diagnosis in a positive way is a start in  the recovery process. Recovery is not only a difficult journey as well as process but a difficult choice. Yes, recovery is a choice, a choice which one must be a willing participant. Of course being in recovery is an effort that others must be included in because going the journey alone just makes the journey not worth the effort to do. Once a person chooses the road to recovery that person will need all the support they can receive.

The support that one receives looks different to everyone’s own recovery. For me and my own recovery my support system is continuing to grow and be more supportive. My support system includes professionals (such as my therapist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, primary care physician, etc.) as well as natural supports (such as my boyfriend, friends, current and past co-workers, selected family members, etc.). If it wasn’t for the continued support of the people I consider my support system, I would not be able to enjoy my life or even be in recovery. Yes, it is choice that I must make and choose to make however without the support I would not be able to continue on the road of recovery.

The point I am trying to make is that one who struggles with a mental illness needs all the positive support they can get especially when they choose to walk in recovery. Choosing recovery is a personal decision not a forced decision. Being forced into recovery (and in most cases treatment) does more harm than good. The last thing we who struggle with mental illness is to be forced to go into treatment. Yes, in some cases it is a good idea to be put into involuntary treatment but in most cases it is NOT a good idea.

My recovery means the world to me. Yes, there might be relapses and bumps in the road but I will have the support of my support network as well as all the skills I have learned throughout the years. If it wasn’t for my recovery I would not have been able to be employed at my previous employer much less get my current job as a consumer aide at a mental health agency. I have worked endlessly to get where I am at and I owe it all to those who have helped me through out the years. It is to those who have helped me through out the years that this blog is dedicated to. If it wasn’t for the help of many people I would have not been able to be posting my 100th blog much less been able to start this blog to share my recovery as well as to educate those who do not have a mental illness. It is my hope that this blog continues to educate people as well as give hope to those who are struggling and that recovery is possible.

I want to thank you for reading and/or following my blog. It means a great deal to me. I hope that with the next hundred blogs that I will able to continue to convey hope and recovery as well as educate on mental illness. Yes, I know I am not a teacher however some of the best educators in my life  were NOT teachers.

I hope to blog again in the next day or so. I am thrilled that I am able to share my life with you as well as be able show people that there is hope and recovery is possible and that people with mental illness are fully capable human beings. Have a good rest of your weekend all. Peace Out and have fun!!!

Just A Lazy Sunday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon!!! I decided to hold off on the educational part of my blog for now. Don’t worry I will get back to. Well, as you all know today, is Sunday. Its been a lazy Sunday. In fact its been a good lazy Sunday.

My boyfriend and I have been having a nice relaxing day together. To start of the nice lazy day, I made him breakfast when he got home from work. I made him some bacon and scrambled eggs. After we ate he went to bed to sleep for a few hours since he had a busy shift. While he napped, I read a little. In fact a read “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens. I’m really enjoying the book. I also read a Wonder Woman graphic novel. If you have been following or reading my blog for a while, you are aware that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. When my boyfriend woke up, we ended up having an intimate moment. After our intimate moment we had lunch and worked on a jigsaw puzzle. My boyfriend and I actually worked on the puzzle for a while when we realized that the Seattle Seahawk and Dallas Cowboy football game was on. So we turned it on to watch it. In fact we are still watching it. My boyfriend in a huge Seahawks fan. When it comes to football my boyfriend and I clash. I am a San Francisco 49er fan. I love sports.

Before I get back to my lazy Sunday to finish watching the Seahawk, Cowboy game I want to let you know how having a lazy day can help with ones mental. For me, I know I just need a day to not have to worry about anything or do anything. Everyone needs a mental break from time to time and that’s what today is for me.

I better getting going because the Cowboys just got touch down and field goal with three minutes left of the game. The Cowboys are in the lead and well my boyfriend and I are not happy about that. Well, I should get going to enjoy the rest of the game. Have a good rest of your Sunday and Peace Out!!

There Are No Cats In America

Posted on by Gertie

It’s Friday night and I am watching one of my favorite childhood movies, An American Tale. Watching this movie brings back a lot of happy memories for me. For people who dealt with horrific childhood trauma having a happy memory is a good thing. That’s why I titled this blog There Are No Cats In America. See one of the songs in An American Tail is titled There Are Cats In America and it so happens it’s my favorite song in the movie. I do have to say another song that I like from this movie is Somewhere Out There. In fact that song brings tears to my eyes. I really enjoy watching movies.

I’m looking at the time and in 1 minute it will officially be Saturday. Besides watching movies this weekend, I will be reading. I will be reading A Tale of Two Cities as well as a bunch of Wonder Woman comic books. I plan on having a nice relaxing weekend. I love reading and watching movies.

Well, Its officially, Saturday, and unfortunately I wont be spending most of today with my boyfriend. The reason being is that he is a Firefighter and his shifts are 24 hours. His shift starts at 7:30 am (pacific time) and ends at 7:30 am (pacific time) the next morning.  He leaves at 7am this morning (Saturday) that means he wont be back till 8 am (pacific time) Sunday morning. With him not being home that means I will be able to do a lot of reading like I mentioned earlier.

I am happy with my life. I am happy that I am with a partner that treats me right. I’m happy that he is established in his career as firefighter. I’m even more happier that I am in career that gives me meaning in my life. I really enjoy working as Consumer Aide in a mental health agency. Granted its not the exact position I would like but its a foot in the door. I love the fact that I am in the mental health field and that I can show others on what recovery from mental illness looks like. I’m happy that my boyfriend and I are in careers that we love and were meant to be in. I am beyond happy that my life is finally coming together even through the struggles of everyday life as well as the struggles with symptoms that like to pop up from time to time.

I should get going and finish watching An American Tail. Well have a good Friday night /Saturday Morning everyone. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Good night and Peace Out!!!!!!!

Just A Blog About The New Job

Posted on by Gertie

It’s an absolutely beautiful Sunday evening in my neck of the woods. So beautiful that my boyfriend and I are going to have dinner outside. We are going to have a grilled chicken salad. Of course the chicken is going to be grilled and the barbeque. I hope we have leftovers so I can take some to work tomorrow.

Speaking of work, I have to remember to take a few things with me tomorrow. A major part of my job is sitting in a little pod like office to let people in the building and that gets boring. I have to remember to take some things to read. I think I’m going to take the book “A Tale of Two Cities” because I haven’t finished reading it yet. The reason why I haven’t finished reading it is that I’ve been busy with life and trying to get a new job. Well, I have that new job and that new job will allow me to read on the job when I am on door duty. I am also going to take a Wonder Woman graphic novel with me. Its one that I have read already but I love Wonder Woman and enjoy rereading any Wonder Woman comic or graphic novel. I am debating weather or not to take some cross-stitching with me to work. I am almost finished with my current cross-stitching project. I really do think I will enjoy my new job wants I get adjusted to what I need to be doing. Plus, I have two more orientations I need to do and fortunately they are both this week. I also have to go to two trainings but the trainings I have to do are not being offered this month so I have to do them next month or whenever they offer them. The trainings I have to do are in Crisis Intervention and CPR. I have to do both every year even if my CPR card is not expired. I know that my new job isn’t the position I want but at least it’s in the field I desire and a foot in the door. Due to agency and union policy I have to be in my current position before be consider an “in-house” applicant. That’s fine with me because I want to be in my position for at least 6 months if not longer because it looks good on the resume’.

Well, I need to get going because my boyfriend said dinner is done and well I am extremely hungry. I hope to blog again sometime in the next few days. Have a wonderful Sunday evening. Peace out!!!!