Tag Archives: Comic Books

It’s Been An Interesting Day

Posted on by Gertie

     Good Monday Evening!!! Today has been an interesting day. On my bus ride to my appointment with my therapist, a fellow passenger passed out because he was so drunk. Of course the bus driver had to stop the bus and check on the dude. The bus driver had to call the police as well as the fire department. The police showed up as well as the fire engine and paramedics. As the firefighters were trying to help the drunk dude came to and hit one of them. The police then tackled the guy and with the help of the paramedics and other firefighters he was handcuffed to the gurney and put in the back of the ambulance. Of course myself and the other passengers had to give witness statements to the police. Finally after everyone gave their statement the bus was on its way again. I got off at my bus stop and walked about a half mile to my appointment. On the walk from the bus stop to my appointment I found $20. Finding money is a rare thing for me.

     I of course made it to my appointment with my therapist on time. In fact I was 45 minutes early. I’m usually an hour early due to OCD tendencies. While waiting for my therapy appointment the admin assistant got me my stuffed Eeyore that I have my therapist hold for me so when I am waiting to see her I can hold on to him. My stuffed Eeyore also sits in on my sessions with me because its easier to talk with a stuffed animal to hold. As I was holding Eeyore, in the waiting room I pulled out a Wonder Woman graphic novel to read. If you are a regular reader or follower of my blog you know I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. About 15 minutes before my session an old high school friend walks into the waiting room of the mental health clinic I see my therapist at. This high school friend was seeking therapy for the first time in her life. She of course was seeing a different clinician. It was nice to “catch up” with an old friend.

    My session with my therapist Diana was quite draining. We discussed what happened on the bus then I pulled out 3 copies of what I wanted to go into my treatment plan. Of course many of things I want to work on can be condensed and we did that. In fact it was getting a bit overwhelming for me. We had to take a break from it and we talked about why it was overwhelming. I had come to the conclusion that I’ve been defined by my mental illness so long that it scares me what it would be like to not be “crazy.” Diana my therapist says that I’ve dealt with my mental illness for so long that now that I am walking in recovery I’m learning what its like to not be “crazy.” She also says that I’m in the process of redefining on who I am. She is absolutely correct. I am redefining who I am. Recovery from a mental illness is difficult work. I still have a great deal to work through so I am no where done with needing treatment but I am an active participant in my treatment planning. I still have to work through all the trauma I’ve been through when I was a child as well as an adult. That’s going to be a long process. So Diana and I still need to finish working my treatment/recovery plan and we both hope that we can continue to work on in in the next session next Monday. I never knew how draining it would be. Working on changing for the better is not only draining and difficult but a good thing. (Side Note: Diana is a pseudonym for my therapist)

   So after my therapy appointment I took the bus home. Thankfully nothing eventful happened on my bus ride home. In fact on my bus ride home, I read A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. I am really enjoying the book. It’s going to take me awhile to read it due to my dyslexia but that is okay with me. Like I’ve said before, I enjoy reading.

   As I am blogging right now, I am at my boyfriends house. He is fixing me dinner. He is a good cook. Not as good as my grandma but good enough. He cooks better than me and I love to cook. Hell, my boyfriend loves to cook as well. He learned to cook from his mom. I learned to cook from my dad and grandma. My paternal grandpa is not a very good cook. My maternal grandpa was an awesome cook. Anyway, my boyfriend is making me spaghetti. I love spaghetti. I should get going. I want to see if my boyfriend will let me help him finish cooking. After dinner we are going to watch a movie. Not sure what movie but it’s going to be a comedy.

   Well, I best be going. I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have a good rest of the evening. Enjoy the rest of your Monday. Well at least enjoy the 4 hours that’s left of Monday. Peace out and enjoy life. 

YIPPEE, I’m On Vacation!!

Posted on by Gertie

     It’s Friday and I would normally be complaining that its my Monday but I am not because I am officially on vacation as of today. Yes, I did work today and it felt like the never ending shift. It always seems that your last day of work before vacation takes forever and a day to finally get over with.

     One thing I plan on doing on my vacation is watching the World Cup. I of course am rooting for my home country of the U.S.A. Tomorrow (Saturday) I am going to watch the Germany/Ghana match. I am rooting for Germany in this particular match because I have a little German in me. On Sunday, my boyfriend and I are going to host a World Cup party at his place when The U.S.A plays Portugal. Of course I will be rooting for the U.S. I will also watch the U.S vs. Germany game on Thursday. I will be rooting for the U.S. Realistically, I’m not sure if the U.S can even beat Portugal much less Germany but will be rooting my heart out for the U.S. I was quite surprised that we (the U.S) beat Ghana especially since Ghana beat us the last two times.

     Another thing I plan on doing is cleaning my apartment. It’s not up to my standards. I will be doing other chores as well. I plan on cleaning my apartment and doing my laundry as well as my other household chore tomorrow when my boyfriend is at work. Plus I just want to get my chores out of the way so I can relax and enjoy my vacation.

     I also plan on going to a baseball game. Baseball is one of my favorite games. My all time favorite baseball teams are The Angles and The Dodgers. Even though I no longer live in California I still follow the Angels and Dodgers and whenever they come and play the team I reside in, I always root for the L.A teams. Even though the Angels and the Dodgers are not going to be in the city I reside in this next week I still plan on going to a baseball game. Yes, I will be rooting for the team in which I currently reside in. I am forever an Angel fan. Yes, I am forever a Dodger fan as well.

    Besides watching some World Cup matches, cleaning my apartment and maybe going to a Mariners game I plan on reading. Of course I will be reading A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens. I am enjoying the book. I told one of my paternal Uncles that I am reading A Tale of Two Cites and he was shocked that I am reading it. I think he shocked because I usually read Science Fiction, Fantasy and Mystery books because they are easier for me to read due to having dyslexia. Sometimes I like shocking people with the things I read. Just wish that reading A Tale of Two Cities wasn’t a shock to my uncle.

    I will also be working on my cross-stitching. I love cross-stitching. It can be frustrating at times but is extremely relaxing. Cross-stitching is one of my favorite hobbies. I enjoy it immensely. Every time I finish a cross-stitching project, I feel a sense of accomplishment.

    Speaking of sense of accomplishment, doing a jigsaw puzzles do that for me as well. My boyfriend and I will be working on jigsaw puzzles this next week. I am hoping that we can get two or three puzzles of 750 pieces or more this week. I’m sure he and I can do it. Doing jigsaw puzzle is another hobby I enjoy doing and its something I enjoy doing with my boyfriend.

    I also hope to catch up on what’s going on with Wonder Woman since I am so far behind at the moment. I really do enjoy collecting and reading comic books especially Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman is a good role model to little girls even though she is only a superhero and not a real person.

    Another thing I a plan on doing is contacting National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. Also known as NAMI. I’m going to see if I can get involved with there peer to peer group as well as get information on in Our Own Voice. I am really hoping that they get me the information I ask for because the last time I did they never sent it to me. 

Since this blog entry is getting a little long I am going to end it for now. I hope I didn’t bore you all. Have a good Friday evening all.

Doctor’s Appointment, Nightmare and Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

     Hey! It’s still Thursday. I did manage to get back to sleep after my horrific nightmare this morning. My boyfriend helped me a great deal with getting me grounded. My boyfriend is a big support to me. I love him with all my heart. Of course reading Wonder Woman comic books helped a great deal with me being able to relax. My boyfriend of course helped me with some relaxation techniques that worked really well.

     I went to my doctors appointment regarding my burned fingers. One of them is healing up just fine. The other two have blisters on them. That means when I go to work tomorrow I have to have gauss on them with a glove over it. I am just happy that I can go to work tomorrow. I do have to see my doctor again next week to see how my fingers are healing. 

     Speaking of work, I am happy that I am able to go to work tomorrow. Tomorrow is my last shift before I go on vacation. I’m not planning anything much during my vacation. I am planning on going to a baseball game with my boyfriend. I love baseball. Baseball is one of my favorite sports. I am also planning on watching the World Cup. I am going to watch the United States play against Portugal on Sunday. Obviously, I will be watching it on T.V. and will be watching it with my boyfriend.  GO USA!!!!

     As I told you in an earlier blog entry the days I see my therapist have changed. I now see my therapist on Mondays. In fact I saw my therapist this past Monday. I am grateful that I see her on Mondays now. Therapy can be quite difficult a great deal of the time.

     I best be going now. I will tell you more on what I will do on my vacation once I am off work tomorrow. I will blog again tomorrow. Until then have a great Thursday. Peace out and have fun in this world of ours.

Nightmares Suck!!!

Posted on by Gertie

     Good morning Thursday! It is 1:46 in the morning pacific time and I am awake from a screaming nightmare. Waking up from a nightmare is not very fun. I am tired as hell. Waking up my boyfriend from my nightmares is not my idea of fun. He is helping me through this difficult moment of waking up from a horrific nightmare. PTSD is a daily struggle. In fact it is a nightly struggle as well. If it wasn’t for his support or the support of my friends when my nightmares act up I would have some pretty lonesome nights. I choose to depend on my support system to help me through difficult moments like my nightmares.

     Another way to help myself through rough times like these is read books such as A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles  Dickens. Most of the time I end up reading a comic book. Mainly I read Wonder Woman comic books to get my mind back on track so I can get back to bed. Sometimes watching comedies like The Cosby Show helps me relax enough to get back to sleep. Sometimes I watch comedy movies to help make me laugh. Laughter make me relax to where I can calm myself down enough so I can eventually get some sleep.

    If it wasn’t for the love and support of my boyfriend supporting me right now I would be dealing with it by myself. I also get support from friends when I ask for it. The hard thing for me is asking for the help. So accepting help from my boyfriend is a major accomplishment for me. Depending on your natural support system is a major sign of the recovery process.

    I think it’s time for me to try to go back to bed and get some sleep. I do have a doctors appointment in the morning regarding my burned fingers. They still hurt like hell. Have a good night sleep all. I will let you all know what my doctor says about my burned fingers after my appointment. Peace out and have a goodnight sleep.

Blogging With Burned Fingers

Posted on by Gertie

     Well its another Wednesday and unfortunately was unable to go to my volunteer job today. I was unable to go because I accidently burned three fingers last night cleaning my stove. The attending physician that saw me last night in the ER called me to see how my fingers were. I told her that they hurt like hell but seem to be doing well. Even the nurse that took care of me last night called to see how my fingers are doing and I told her the same thing I told the doctor. Speaking of doctors I made an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow for a follow from the ER visit regarding my burned fingers.

     Since I didn’t go to my volunteer job today, I continued reading A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens. I am really surprised that I am enjoying the book. I have to admit that I am a little disappointed with the school district that I graduated from because they didn’t require the students in Special Ed English to read the classics like the rest of the students. I was a mainstreamed Special Ed student. That means that most of my classes were regular classes. The only Special Ed class I was in was English because of my dyslexia and other “reading issues.” Don’t get me started on the lack of education I got from the school district I graduated from. The school district I spent most of my school years in was absolutely great but the school district I ended up graduating in was lacking quite a bit. Getting back on topic of reading, I am really enjoy A Tale of Two Cities.

     I also read some comic books. I read four Wonder Woman comics, two Superman comics, two Batman comics, two Spiderman comics and three X-Men comic. . I love comic books. Just like reading “normal” books, reading comics distracts me from a lot of things. It distracts me from the every day stress of life and at times distracts me from the symptoms of my mental illness. I collect all sort of comic books but I mainly collect Wonder Woman. I am a big Wonder Woman fan. I don’t discriminate between the comic book universes because both universes have there great characters.

     After I am done blogging for the evening my boyfriend and I are going to watch documentaries on homelessness. If you have been reading my blog you know that I volunteer at a homeless shelter and that I am passionate about ending homelessness. I really missed going to my volunteer job today at the homeless shelter. I can relate a great deal to most of the clients in the shelter because most of them have a mental illness. Plus at one point in time I was homeless. Thankfully it was only a short amount of time. Yes, I have my favorite clients even though we are not suppose to. A lot of the clients do seek out mental health help as well as help with addictions from alcohol and/or drugs. Unfortunately, some don’t get treatment. Getting treatment or not getting treatment is an entire different blog entry in itself.

     I better get going. My fingers are hurting like hell at the moment. I wasn’t expecting to blog so much today. Word to the wise make sure your burner is completely off when you clean your stove. I really thought I turned the burner of all the way last night when I started cleaning the stove. Well, I need to get going.

     Have a great Wednesday evening everyone. Now it’s time spend time with my boyfriend. Peace out and enjoy the rest of your Wednesday.

Full Moon Friday The 13th 2014

Posted on by Gertie

     Happy Full Moon Friday the 13th!! A full moon landing on Friday the 13th is a pretty uncommon but cool occurrence. The next time a full moon will on Friday the 13th will Friday, August 13, 2049. That’s 35 years away.

     Well, as some of you may be aware with reading my blog I work Fridays. Fridays are my Mondays. I didn’t have a good day at work. I had a co-worker tell me today, “you’re a nobody,” when I was taking a break. My eyes filled with tears and I said, “you’re right I am a nobody.” The look on his face was an oh shit what did I say look. The tears in my eyes were real and what he said to me triggered me greatly. It not only triggered my PTSD but some of the old tapes in my head. After splashing some water on my face I apologized to him for allowing him to get to me and that I would never tell anybody that they are a nobody. My break finished and I went back to work. Apparently he told on himself and told his department manager who told the store manager. So the four of us had a meeting. My co-worker apologized and I accepted it. The store manager asked why I didn’t notify him on what my co-worker said to me. I told the store manager that I didn’t report it to him because I didn’t think it was warranted. My co-worker looked and me and said, “It takes a lot for you to cry and if someone says something that makes you tear up then you should report it. That’s why I tattled on myself because I made you tear up.” I am just grateful that we got it taken care of. I shunned it off as it being Friday the 13th and a full moon.

     When I got home from work I realized that I felt like cutting myself due to being triggered so I took a nice like shower. After the shower I then finished up a cross-stitch project that I was doing. After I was done with the cross-stitch I put it away because I want to frame it and give it to my grandparents. (Side note: My grandparents helped raised me.) So when I put up my finished cross-stitching project for my grandparents I read a Wonder Woman comic book.

     I read the Wonder Woman comic because somehow it gives me a source of strength. I’m not sure why reading Wonder Woman gives me a source of strength but it does. She is the ultimate superhero. For the longest time she was the only female superhero. I wish that she wasn’t the only superhero girls had in the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and even part of the 80’s but am grateful that she was there for us “girls” now women. I thank the feminist movement for making sure she stayed around.

     After I finished my Wonder Woman comic book I picked up the book, The Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens. I read the first 11 pages and realized that I was hungry. I fixed me some left overs and ate. After eating I read another 10 or so pages when I decided blog this particular entry. So far I am enjoying The Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens.

    Just so you all know that because I used the skills I learned I did NOT self harm. I think I was triggered to cut because of what was said to me at work earlier today. I am grateful that I used my skills to help me through the urges to self harm. My recovery means the world to me. Now what to do after I am done with this particular blog entry.

    Since I am planning on ending this particular blog entry I am think I am going to look for jobs in the peer support specialist/peer counseling because I am not working in a grocery store has never been my career path. I never thought I would still be working at a grocery store for nine years. So part of my plans for the rest of the evening is to look to see if there are any positions for peer support specialist/peer counseling. I know I am meant to be a peer counselor.

    Well, now that I bored you with my day I am going to end this blog entry. Have a great Full Moon Friday The 13th. Peace out and have out their in the world.

Therapy, Recovery, and Wonder Woman

Posted on by Gertie

     Hey! It’s Thursday and that means its the day I go see my therapist and I did. In fact I will start seeing her on Mondays again this Monday after I get off work. I have been seeing my therapist for 5 1/2 years now at a local community mental health clinic. Diana, my therapist has been the longest clinician I’ve had and that has helped a great deal in my recovery process. I’m grateful that she has not given up on me or my recovery process. In fact, Diana was the one who told me the summer of 2013 that I no longer meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She officially took it off my chart. It took a lot of work to get it off my chart with her help. Of course I’ve had clinicians in the past who have helped a great deal with me with my recovery process.

     Diana, of course is not my therapist real name. I’ve given her a pseudonym for her privacy as well as the privacy of her past, current and future clients. I did ask if it was okay if I could give her a pseudonym for my blog and said yes. In fact we came up with pseudonym together. We chose the name Diana of Diana Prince because I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. Diana Prince is Wonder Woman’s human name. It was the name we both agreed on. I liked it because Diana (Wonder Woman) is a woman of strength and I see my therapist as a woman of strength. I would tell you why she liked it but I am not sure if I would have her permission to do so and most importantly I want to protect her privacy and her other clients.

     Speaking of Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) I finally got the last five issues. I finally had the money to buy them. I am so behind on my reading and collection of Wonder Woman. I have to figure out the other issue I need to buy. Reading and collecting Wonder Woman comic books has helped me a great deal with my recovery process. It’s one of my many Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills that I use on the daily basis.

     Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is an entire blog entry in itself. I do have to say if it wasn’t for DBT I would not be currently employed nor would I be a recovered Borderline. DBT has given me the skills I need to live a life worth living. DBT has been a major part of my recovery and will continue to be part of my recovery. I hope to explain more about DBT later. I need get going to use my DBT Skills by fixing me and my boyfriend something to eat.

     I guess I will end this blog entry for now and hope to do another blog entry tomorrow. Until then go out and have fun in this world of ours. Peace out and have fun.

The Typical Week For Me

Posted on by Gertie

Hey!! Happy Monday! I just want to share with you guys what a typical week looks like for me. I’m doing this in hopes to have you the reader/follower get to know me better especially since I am new to the blogging thing. It is my goal for this particular entry to show “normal” people that they encounter people who struggle with mental illness on the daily basis even if they may not be aware of it. Mental illness is a hidden disability that many “normal” people don’t realize that they encounter people who struggle with a mental illness while they are going about their daily activities. I also hope that this post can show “normal” people that people who live with a mental illness are not lazy and live a productive life. Another goal for this particular entry it to show those who struggle with a mental illness that recovery is possible and that their is hope.

SIDE NOTE (info relevant for this post):

I work at a major grocery store chain as a courtesy clerk. A courtesy clerk is a bagger or box boy or in my case a box woman. A courtesy clerk bags groceries, cleans, brings in the carts, helps customers out to their cars, price checks, helps customers find items and is basically the peon of the store and gets all the disgusting jobs to do. All times I post are Pacific Time.

For me this is what a typical week looks like.

SUNDAY:

On Sundays, I sleep in and take it easy in the morning. As of lately I’ve been working the early afternoon to evening shift at work. Most Sundays I’m the closing courtesy clerk. Closing courtesy clerks tend to have more responsibilities than other courtesy clerks do. My Sunday afternoon/evening shifts are usually my longest shifts and they seem to go by more quickly than my other shifts at work. The reason being is because that’s when the particular store I work at is the busiest with customers.

MONDAY:

I am the opening courtesy clerk on Mondays. Opening courtesy clerks have the most responsibility than the other courtesy clerks including the closing courtesy clerks. I am usually off by 11am on Mondays which is great because Mondays happen to be my Fridays. When everyone else dreads Mondays, I look forward to them. When I get off on Mondays, I go home and watch the 12noon news and have a small snack. I also use Monday afternoons to make doctor appointments since it is the start of my weekend. I also usually do my laundry on Mondays so I can just get it out of the way and enjoy my weekend.

TUESDAY:

Tuesdays are the days I don’t have anything scheduled or planned. I keep Tuesdays open to do errands if I have any to do as well as to make appointments for the dentist or doctor. Most Tuesdays I end up with nothing scheduled or planned and that’s not always a good thing especially when its a difficult time of year for me regarding my particular diagnosis of the mental illness I deal with. That’s why I end up doing things I enjoy. When the weather is good I usually go someplace where I can be outside preferably by a body of water. That way I can people watch or read. Most of the time I end up reading and on occasion I cross-stitch. Yes, I cross-stitch. I also go to a local comic book store and get the latest Wonder Woman issue. If I already have the issue, I look around and get an issue that I don’t have. If the weather is not so good, I end up doing indoor things such as going to the movies or going to Gameworks. Gameworks is an arcade. I also usually do my weekly grocery shopping done on Tuesday. I also talk to my mother at 6pm every Tuesday. I had give her some boundaries on when she could call me for reasons you will find out in later blogs.

WEDNESDAYS:

Mornings are usually nice and relaxing. My boyfriend and I go and have lunch with one or both of his parents. There are times where both of his parents are working but that’s rare. Even when my boyfriend is working I go and have lunch with his parents. After lunch I go volunteer at a local homeless shelter. There is the occasional Wednesday morning that I will go see my psychiatrist or in my case psychiatric ARNP. After my volunteer job I go to local mom and pop video rental store and rent movies to watch throughout the week. It’s 2 for 1 meaning rent 2 movies for the price of 1.

THURSDAYS:

Thursday mornings are sometimes high anxiety for me because I see my therapist in the early afternoon for an hour. Although, the next two months or so the day I see my therapist is going to change I am already thinking of what to schedule for Thursdays. Since, Thursday mornings are sometimes anxiety provoking my boyfriend and I go walking around a local man-built lake which is 3.3 miles around. We even do it on Thursdays my boyfriend have to work. I then head off to my appointment. Before my appointment I eat lunch at nearby salad place where my appointment is. After my therapy appointment I usually take it easy because therapy and talking about shit is not easy.

FRIDAYS:

I work Fridays. In fact once again I am the opening courtesy clerk. When most everyone else gets excited about Fridays, I dread them because they are my Mondays. I am usually of no later than 1pm on Fridays. Friday evenings I end up going to dinner parties at friends places when I am not hosting them at my place or my boyfriends place.

SATURDAYS:

I again work on Saturdays and once again I am the opening courtesy clerk. I’m usually off by 12:30pm. After work on Saturdays, I usually go to lunch with an old high school friend who teaches high school English. It’s always nice to hang out with good friends.

EVERYDAY:

There are things that I do everyday that I did not mention in the particular days. I spend an hour everyday practicing my flute. I also spend about 45minutes teaching myself how to play the harmonica. I read about 3 to 7 chapters(depending the length) a day in the book I happen to be reading as well as at least 1 comic book. I cross-stitch at least a 1/2 an hour a day.

I hope that my goals for this blog become successful. I also hope that I have shown to “normal” people that they come into contact mentally ill people everyday who don’t appear or act “crazy.” I am sorry that I was so long winded. Have a good Monday everyone.