Tag Archives: Food

Being Celebrated On My Birthday

Posted on by Gertie

Today, is another Saturday. A Saturday that I wish wasn’t all about me. See, today (March 7th) is my birthday. Birthdays are usually a joyous time for people and most likely not difficult for the birthday person to be celebrated.

I have difficulties with people celebrating me even if it is my birthday. I am not use to it due to my childhood and the trauma I suffered as a child.  The thing is I am no longer a child and I choose the people I have in my life.

I choose the people I have in my life because of my not so good childhood. The people currently in my life are good to me. They love me and care about me. I may have chosen the people in my life but I still feel like I don’t deserve to have them in my life. I have to remember that no matter how difficult my childhood was, that I still deserve to have people in my life that love me for who I am.

It is because of who I am that the people in my life celebrated me today because it was the day I was born. They know that no matter how I feel or what I think that I deserve to be celebrated. Celebrated like everyone should be celebrated.

My birthday started out by my little brother calling me at 12 midnight wishing me a Happy Birthday. My dad then called me at 12:36 am to wish me a Happy Birthday. My dad called me at 12:36 in the morning because today is my 36th birthday.

It being my 36th birthday my fiancé got me three dozen (36) purple roses. Junior got me the purple roses because purple is my favorite color and well he wanted to make sure my day started off well. I am grateful that he was and is so thoughtful.

Right beside the rose’s were baseball tickets to the first two home games to the Seattle Mariners. Junior made sure that I will attend opening day because the Seattle Mariners are playing my favorite team the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. I am so looking forward to seeing a good baseball game against two of my favorite teams. I do have to say that I always root for the  Angels. Junior also got tickets for the second Mariner home game. Yes, the Mariners will be playing the Angels. Junior knows me well enough that when it comes to gifts I prefer experiences over things which is not only why he got be baseball tickets but planned what happened next in my day.

Junior planned a surprise party for me. He planned it extremely well. Junior had invited a number of my friends to the party. In fact he even invited two childhood friends of mine that I knew in California and now live in the Seattle area. Not only did they show up but had various childhood friends mail them cards to give them to me today. Junior also invited people I went to high school with. My high school friends even did the card thing as well. I was surprised as hell that Junior planned the party for me. Actually, I am more surprised that he was able to keep it a secret because he is NOT very good at keeping secrets.

Some how he was able to not only plan the party but able to keep it a secret. Junior had his mom and other family member make an authentic Mexican meal for me. I love Mexican food and Junior knows that. I am also grateful that Junior is Mexican and that his family doesn’t care that I am white and that my family doesn’t care that he is Mexican. I am happy with my relationship and that our families can embrace each others cultures.

Not only was I blessed with Mexican food but was blessed with many other gifts. I received many books as well as a gift card to Barnes and Noble. I also got Wonder Woman pajama’s and many Wonder Woman comic books. I also received a three day pass to Emerald City Comic-con. I of course will be going to the comic-con with one of my best friends.

If it wasn’t for the friends I choose to be in my life and consider family, I would have not had a great birthday like I did today. I may feel like I don’t deserve it but I sure appreciated being loved and cared about. All the people who are currently in my life caring about me don’t give a shit that I have a mental illness. They care about me because I am me and that is why they made sure I had an awesome birthday.

I have less than three hours of my birthday left and I am going to spend the rest of it with Junior. We will be watching movies and most likely be having some intimate moments. I better get going. Have a good night and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out!!

Mental Illness, Miscarriage and Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday!!! It’s the start of another weekend and not just any weekend; Superbowl weekend. Like many other people in America, Junior and myself are preparing to watch the Superbowl with friends. In fact we are hosting a Superbowl party. As stressful it is to prepare for such an event, I am looking forward both preparing for it and being a part of the party.

I am looking forward to it, not only because the Seattle Seahawks are going back to the Superbowl but because it is going to be an enormous distraction for both Junior and I. It’s going to be a distraction because, I miscarried. It’s been a rough couple of weeks for both Junior and myself. We were looking forward to becoming parents. We were really hopeful that I would carry to term this pregnancy because I had made it to 20 week mark and ended up miscarrying at 20 1/2 weeks. The reason why Junior and I thought I was in the clear was because I miscarried another set of twins at 19 weeks and were told that once I hit the 20 week mark that the risk of miscarriage goes down substantially. Loosing a child is the greatest pain a person can endure. I know this because, I’ve lost children through miscarriage and have dealt with some severe childhood trauma.

Grieving is not an easy thing to do especially when it comes to loosing a child however it is something I will be able to work through with the help of others. Asking help from others is not an easy thing for me to do, however it is a sign that I am in recovery. I would be lying to you if I told you I wasn’t struggling with the miscarriage because I am struggling with my miscarriage big time. Suicide has even crossed my mind the last couple a weeks. Don’t worry I am NOT going to attempt or commit suicide because I have too much to live for plus I have the skills and support that I need to help me through this pain. Part of my recovery is letting people who love and care about me, help me through this difficult time of my life.

Recovery looks differently to everybody and part of my recovery is this blog. Blogging about the miscarriage is a difficult thing to do. I think miscarriage, just like mental illness is something that people don’t really discuss. I am not really sure why people don’t discuss miscarriages but I know why people don’t discuss mental illness. Mental illness has a lot of shame and stigma attached  to it. It is for that shame and stigma with mental illness is why I share myself with you all (and try to educate). If I wasn’t in recovery, I really don’t think I would be able to keep myself safe from self-harm or suicide in dealing with the miscarriage. It is because of my recovery I am able to be doing as well as I am after loosing a set of twins due to miscarriage.

I was hoping that I would be able to blog more however it is getting a little difficult for me to do so at the moment. I need to go and allow myself to grieve. I hope to be able to blog sometime on Superbowl Sunday. Have good weekend everyone. Peace out and GO SEAHAWKS!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Posted on by Gertie

Merry Christmas!!! I hope everyone out there in the world who celebrates Christmas had a good holiday. Despite the typical family drama on both sides of my family it went fairly well. Time with Jr.’s family went well like always.

Jr. and I are in a hotel room in the town my mother and a brother live in. In fact it feels nice to have a small get away for a couple of days. Jr. and I are going to be spending some much quality time with each other the next couple of days. Our hotel room is looking over the lake and I am loving it. As I am blogging Jr. is taking a much need nap because the both of us have a long couple of days due to the Christmas holiday.

I cant help but think that next year and this time, Jr. and myself are going to have our hands full with two precious little babies. Jr. and I have been thinking on what types of Christmas traditions we want as a family. Of course many of our traditions seemed to be more geared toward when our little ones are older and I think its a good thing to plan for such traditions. Yes, we both are well aware that they will change as the kids grow older and we get to know what their personalities are like.

I am so excited that I am going to be a mama. Feeling my babies kick in my belly is the most amazing feeling in the world. Knowing that I am going to be a mama is an exciting event yet extremely overwhelming at the same time. Jr. is just as excited about becoming a papa as I am becoming a mama. He reads to my belly everyday so he can feel a connection to our children. Connection to our children is extremely important to both Jr. and myself because of the horrific past that I had as a child.

When I was a child I was severely and horrifically abused by my little brother’s father. Unfortunately, the abuse started at Christmas time and in fact was the worst at Christmas time. Christmas time is quite difficult for me due to the abuse however the holidays are slowly getting better as time goes on due to the fact of me working on the pain of the abuse in therapy. I am grateful that I have an awesome therapist that has helped me learn how to deal with the pain. I am also grateful to Jr. and my other natural supports for helping me when times get tough especially around the holidays.

The holiday season may not be easy for me however I realize that it is not easy for many people including those who do not struggle with a mental illness. I’m one of those people that wishes that the holidays were not such a difficult time for many people out there.

One thing that I do every year to make sure my holidays are good one is to read the comic books Christmas With The Superhero’s Volume One and Two.  I also watch A Charlie Brown Christmas as well as Polar Express. I do want I need to do to keep myself healthy and to build positive Christmas memories. Not only that I hope that when my twins are born that I and Jr. will give the positive and happy Christmas memories.

Well, I am going to let you all go for now so you all can have good positive Christmas memories. Not only that I want to give Jr. a good memory by being intimate with him. Peace out and Merry Christmas!!!

Is Thanksgiving Over With Yet?

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Yes, it’s still Thanksgiving. I am absolutely beat tired. I have pretty much have been on the go with Thanksgiving Day stuff since yesterday morning.

My boyfriend and I hosted Thanksgiving dinner and it turned out fairly well. Yes, there was a little family from my side however it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Unfortunately, it isn’t a true holiday gathering without a little drama when it comes to my family. All I can say is that my boyfriends family is pretty much a drama free family which I am so thankful for. The family drama started when Jr.(my boyfriend) and I made an extremely special announcement.

The special announcement is that I am expecting twins. Yes, you read right twins. For the most part everyone was happy for Jr. and I. Well, that is everyone but my mother who started drama and well she was eventually asked to leave due to the stress she was causing me. I don’t need the added stress due to being a high risk pregnant woman. I am high risk for several reasons which I will discuss in another blog entry. Jr. and myself are thrilled we are going to be parents. I have always wanted to be a mama and I am looking forward to being one. I just wish my own mama was thrilled with me becoming one. Thankfully, I have another person I consider a mom whom I call Mama Bear as well as Jr.’s mom. (Side Note: Today marks me being 14 weeks pregnant.)

Now lets get on to other events of today. People started arriving around 11am (pacific time) because of The Turkey Bowl. The Turkey Bowl is a football game where people play football with an uncooked turkey. The game starts with a turkey and at some point in the game an actual football is replaced with the turkey. No, the turkey is not cooked after it is done being played with. Yes, the turkey get thrown out in the garbage at some point during the game. I was a little disappointed that I couldn’t play this year. I obviously couldn’t play today due to being 14 weeks pregnant. I am proud to say that the women slaughtered then men in the annual Turkey Bowl. The final score 24 -3. No the men did NOT let the women win.

The best part of the day for me was the food. Oh how I love being pregnant during the holidays. I’m sure the babies are enjoying it as well. I love to eat even when I am not pregnant. Dinner turned out pretty good considering all the preparing of food and cooking I had to do. Thankfully, I had a lot of help and others brought side dished and baked good that is traditional for them to eat on Thanksgiving.

After dinner we played some board games as well as some card games. We all had a blast playing the games. No not everyone stayed for the games but that was okay with me. Everyone seemed to really enjoy playing the game Apple to Apples. That is an extremely fun and entertaining game.

About two hours after everyone started playing various types for board and card games we turned on the television to watch the Seahawk vs. 49er game. Yes, some people continued to play games but most of us watched the football game. The Seahawks beat the 49ers 19-3. I was kind of hoping for a closer and more competitive game but it didn’t happen. The Seahawks played a great game and the 49ers not so much. I am both a 49er fan and a Seahawk fan. Yes, I know they have intense rivalry and that it is an oxymoron to be a fan of both teams but I don’t give a flying rats ass.

Now that the game is over with and everyone is gone, my boyfriend Jr. and I had some private intimate moments. After the intimate moments, Jr. and myself watched M*A*S*H to help the both of relax after an overwhelming day. In fact Jr. is now in bed because he has to work his regular work shift tomorrow. In fact his shifts are 24 hours which sucks but I am proud to be his girlfriend and the mama of his children. He loves his career and I am grateful that he does what he does. Since he is in bed I continued watching M*A*S*H. I am actually going to end this particular blog entry for now because I want to watch the 11 o’clock news.

Have a continued Happy Thanksgiving or at least the hour that is left of Thanksgiving. Have a good night and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out!!!

Happy Dead Turkey Day

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Dead Turkey Day!!! Now that I have your attention, Happy Thanksgiving. I really prefer saying Happy Dead Turkey Day because today is really all about eating a dead turkey as well as other yummy foods. Its also about spending time with friends and dysfunctional family and watching some good ole American Football.

It has been an extremely busy morning so far and its only 8:30 in the morning (pacific time). I have been up since 5 this morning (pacific time) cooking and baking for Thanksgiving Dinner and the thing is I was up till midnight (pacific time) doing the same thing. I am cooking Thanksgiving Dinner for about 50 to 60 people that my boyfriend and I are hosting for our friends and family. Thankfully, I am getting help with the cooking. Not only am I getting help with the cooking but am having people bring a traditional dish that they ate growing up. The only thing we asked of people bringing food is that they tell us so we don’t have mass amounts of the same dish. Anyway, its been a busy morning and it is just going to get busier as the day goes on.

My boyfriend is the lucky one right now because he is sleeping. He did an overtime shift and got of at 7:30 this morning (pacific time). My boyfriend may be sleeping right now but he will be in charge of the cleaning up after the turkey dinner is over with. Luckily how it goes on both sides of our families is that if you are not involved with the cooking then you have to help out with the clean up with one exception and that is that if you had to work. I think that’s fair enough.

Something my boyfriend and I have planned for our guest besides the dinner is to have some fun and make a day out of it. We plan on having a game of turkey bowl. Turkey bowl is where you play football with an uncooked turkey . Eventually, we replace the turkey with a football and no we do NOT cook the turkey, we throw it away. We also plan on having board games out to play and even might have a tournament or two with the board games. Hopefully, we will do some karaoke at some point. We might do some Christmas caroling. Most importantly we will be watching the San Francisco 49er vs. Seattle Seahawk football game. What’s a Dead Turkey Day (Thanksgiving) without some good ole American Football.

When it comes to who to root for in regards to the football game, I am conflicted. I am conflicted because I grew up in California and was taught to always root for the home team. Since my home team was the Rams and they moved to Saint Louis when I was about nine or ten I picked the 49ers. The 49ers then became my home team. The thing is I’m the only one in my family who was not born and raise in the State of Washington and my entire family is a Seattle Seahawk fan. The thing is that at that time the Seahawks were in the AFC so it was okay to root for the 49ers because the were and still are in the NFC. As a teenager I moved to Washington State with my dad and realized what a gigantic fan base the Seahawks had even though at that time they were a loosing team they kind of grew on me. Then a few years ago the NFL decided to put the Seahawks into the NFC and that what makes it even more complicated now because the rivalry against the 49ers is even greater now.  Now that I live in Seahawk country I am conflicted. Oh how I wish I could choose what team to root for later. I hope you see why I am conflicted on who to root for.

I should get back on topic of Dead Turkey Day. I am overwhelmed with having to do dinner for so many people even though I have plenty of help. My own family is quite overwhelming and well dysfunctional. Not only are the holidays triggering for me due to childhood trauma but my family is triggering for me. Well, my brother is not triggering. The only reason why my dysfunctional family is invited is because my boyfriend and I have some big news for our families. Well, most of his family knows as well as my lil brother but we want it to be a special announcement. I will tell you in another blog that I hope to do later this evening or tonight sometime but no promises.

Well, my self-proclaimed break is over. It is now 9:00 am (pacific time) and I spent the last half an hour blogging and I feel like a slacker for not doing anything when there are others working their asses off. So this means I’m saying ta ta for now. Have a good Dead Turkey Day everyone. Enjoy your food and friends and try to enjoy your dysfunctional families. Peace Out!!!

A Lazy Friday

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday!!! Today has been a lazy Friday for me. Thankfully, the weather cooperated with it being a rainy yucky day out. It gave me an excuse to read most of the day. Of course I had music playing in the background as I read. I of course did other things besides read and listen to Christmas music all day. I worked on a Jigsaw puzzle with my boyfriend while listening to Christmas music. We also had some very intimate moments and no we weren’t listening to music. The best part of the day was when my boyfriend fixed me biscuits and gravy and scrambled eggs. I love biscuits and gravy. My boyfriend and I baked chocolate cake, an apple pie, a pumpkin pie and baklava. Of course we had the Christmas music blaring the entire time baking. As you can tell I didn’t get much accomplished today and that’s fine with me.

Even though today was not an accomplished day, yesterday felt like one after I attended a training that my volunteer job put on. In fact its one of the perks of volunteering at the Warm Line is being able to take various types of training that they offer. I guess its a plus that the Warm Line is under the umbrella of the local Crisis Line because of the free trainings. The training was about how Social Justice and what types of things get in the way of how we view ourselves and others and how people cope. I thought is was going to be more geared toward the LGBTQ but it wasn’t and I was disappointed with that. Yes, there was a discussion in the training on LGBTQ but the trainings focus wasn’t entirely on LGBTQ like I was hoping it was going to be. Oh well. I did enjoy it a lot and learned a great deal about myself and others as well as how others may view me. I believe this training will not only help me in my volunteer job at the Warm Line but my current employment as Consumer Aide.

Since we are on the topic of my current employment I am really enjoying it. Its nice to finally have a job that I love with every cell of who I am and knowing that I am making a difference in someone’s life. It’s nice to actually show other’s that recovery from a mental illness is possible.

Recovery for me is so much more fun than not being in recovery. I say this because I am able to enjoy days like today. Through recovery I am learning how much I am able to handle through the holidays. For many people the holidays are extremely difficult especially for those who struggle with a mental illness. I know for me that the holidays will never be easy however I can learn different ways to cope with them as well as to enjoy them and make my own traditions. A tradition that I have started is that I want my Christmas tree to tell people my story or who I am through the ornaments I have on it. Of course most of them are Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments. My grandparents started that when I was born. In fact I get an ornament or two from them every year. One happens to be in a series and started the year I was born. I think that tells a part of who I am. I usually buy between 2 to 4 ornaments a year for my tree plus the one or two my grandparents get me. My tree always looks empty due to the fact of the lack of ornaments it has. I really want my tree to tell people on who I am. Another thing I do is volunteer at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving. See, being in recovery means dealing with the pain of your past with new traditions.

The holidays are not easy for me because I was severely and horrifically abuse as a child my moms (now ex) boyfriend. This (ex) boyfriend happens to be my little brothers father. Anyway, this dude did unthinkable and disgusting things to me. I guess that’s why I tend to struggle during the holidays. I am just happy that I haven’t had a major issue in three years.

I’m grateful that my boyfriend and others have helped me out the last three years. In fact I’ve had many people on my side to make sure I haven’t had a major issue the last three years. These people were there for me when I did have major issues three years ago. Having a great support system is key to being in recovery.

Well its no longer Friday and my boyfriend who happens to be part of my support system wants to have some intimate time. Intimate time usually means sex. I am really happy that I am able to trust him and feel safe with him to have sex.

Since its no longer Friday and my boyfriend and I want to have an intimate moment, I best be going. Have goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. I would say enjoy the rest of your Friday but its now Saturday so enjoy your Saturday as well as your weekend. Peace Out!!

Happy Halloween

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Halloween!!! Where has the year gone? Its hard to believe how fast this year has flown bye. Before we know it, it will be next year (2015). Enough of how fast this year has gone by.

Now back to Halloween. This evening my boyfriend and I are having a get together with a few friends. We decided have a potluck style get together and watch movies to the wee hours of the night because it just seems more intimate. Of course we are handing out candy. Yes, we still are at 9:47pm (pacific time). As I am blogging, my boyfriend, friends and myself are watching the movie Addams Family Values. After the current movie is over with we will then watch Beetlejuice. I love the movie Beetlejuice. After Beetlejuice are going to watch all the Nightmare On Elm Street movies. Told ya we would be watching movies well into the wee hours of the morning. My boyfriend and I thought it would be nice to have a few friends over to stay the night and watch movies. My boyfriend has plenty of room in place to have people crash and sleep if and when they get tired. The best part of having close friends over is not only the nice company but the food. Oh how I love food.

If it wasn’t for me choosing to be in recovery from my mental illness I would not be able to help host this get together. My recovery means the world to me. In all honesty, watching movies is a skill or a tool I use to help me. I am grateful that I am with a handful of my closest friends and my boyfriend watching movies because my PTSD symptoms are acting up. I’m learning that it’s a good thing that I have such an amazing natural support system. They help me out when I am struggling even if they may not realize it. Many people who struggle with a mental illness don’t have very many people in their lives to help them get through their struggles.

I should get going because we are about to finish Addams Family Values and then watch Beetlejuice. I am hoping that I will start blogging more. I have just been extremely busy with my new job as well as my new volunteer job and just life in general. I hope you all have a good night. Happy Halloween. Peace Out.

Social Media, Boyfriend, & Other Stuff

Posted on by Gertie

I know it has been a week since I last blogged. I do have a good excuse that I am wanting to tell you at a later time. I am still debating whether or not that later time will be sometime in this particular post or not. I am still trying to get adjusted to the idea of why I haven’t blogged in a week even though I did post twice since finding out the good news. I am aware that not blogging for a week hinders me from getting potential readers and/or followers.

When it come to getting more followers and/or readers I have decided to create a twitter account. I didn’t realize that you could create a twitter account if you don’t have a smart (cell) phone. The cell phone I have is a basic tough phone or what I call a dumb dumb phone. I am hoping that starting a twitter account will help increase my blog traffic. If you want to connect with me on twitter you can at @gertiesjourney.

Since I am on the topic of social media I might as well as tell you I am on Facebook as well. You can friend me on it Facebook if you want to at Gerties Journey. In fact I started that account so my followers and regular reader could have another way to connect with me.

Connection with people is a good thing especially when it comes to in person connection. My boyfriend and I have been spending the day with each other. In fact we will be spending the rest of the weekend together because once Monday morning comes around we wont be able to see each other till Tuesday evening because of our jobs. My boyfriend and I have pretty much stayed in most of the day due to yucky, blustery weather. We did go for a walk when it wasn’t so yucky and blustery out. As I mentioned we have spent most of today indoors. My boyfriend and I spent the day watching soccer (football) as well as the World Series.  My boyfriend and of course had to keep warm by the fire when the lights went out for a few hours. While keeping warm by the fire we not only worked on a jigsaw puzzle but had some intimate moments. In fact it was an intense intimate moment. When the electricity came back on we watch a the movie Its Kind Of A Funny Story. In fact the movie is one of my favorite movies. It’s absolutely hilarious.

Speaking of hilarious, my boyfriend and I want to watch Saturday Night Live (SNL). Yes, that means I am going to end this blog for now because SNL is now on. Well, have good night and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out everyone!!!!

100th Blog

Posted on by Gertie

Writing this particular blog is a major milestone; a milestone in the fact that it is my 100th blog. Blogging on the subject of Mental Illness hasn’t been an easy feat. It hasn’t been easy for me to write on the topic of mental illness due to my own struggles with it and the lack of education. I have the lack of education to convey what I desire to tell you in regards to mental illness. Due to my struggles with mental illness I was unable to go to college and now it’s the lack of funds that I am unable to attend college. On the flip side, I am able to convey how one feels as well as how one deals when one struggles with a mental illness. I am however able to convey something on mental illness that and “educated” person cannot because I live with one. Who better to educate others on mental illness than those who struggle with one? Well, maybe those who not only struggle with a mental illness but have an education in field that deals with mental illness.

Dealing with a mental illness is not an easy thing to deal with because of the struggles one must have to endure when it comes to symptoms.  Learning to deal with the symptoms of a mental health diagnosis in a positive way is a start in  the recovery process. Recovery is not only a difficult journey as well as process but a difficult choice. Yes, recovery is a choice, a choice which one must be a willing participant. Of course being in recovery is an effort that others must be included in because going the journey alone just makes the journey not worth the effort to do. Once a person chooses the road to recovery that person will need all the support they can receive.

The support that one receives looks different to everyone’s own recovery. For me and my own recovery my support system is continuing to grow and be more supportive. My support system includes professionals (such as my therapist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, primary care physician, etc.) as well as natural supports (such as my boyfriend, friends, current and past co-workers, selected family members, etc.). If it wasn’t for the continued support of the people I consider my support system, I would not be able to enjoy my life or even be in recovery. Yes, it is choice that I must make and choose to make however without the support I would not be able to continue on the road of recovery.

The point I am trying to make is that one who struggles with a mental illness needs all the positive support they can get especially when they choose to walk in recovery. Choosing recovery is a personal decision not a forced decision. Being forced into recovery (and in most cases treatment) does more harm than good. The last thing we who struggle with mental illness is to be forced to go into treatment. Yes, in some cases it is a good idea to be put into involuntary treatment but in most cases it is NOT a good idea.

My recovery means the world to me. Yes, there might be relapses and bumps in the road but I will have the support of my support network as well as all the skills I have learned throughout the years. If it wasn’t for my recovery I would not have been able to be employed at my previous employer much less get my current job as a consumer aide at a mental health agency. I have worked endlessly to get where I am at and I owe it all to those who have helped me through out the years. It is to those who have helped me through out the years that this blog is dedicated to. If it wasn’t for the help of many people I would have not been able to be posting my 100th blog much less been able to start this blog to share my recovery as well as to educate those who do not have a mental illness. It is my hope that this blog continues to educate people as well as give hope to those who are struggling and that recovery is possible.

I want to thank you for reading and/or following my blog. It means a great deal to me. I hope that with the next hundred blogs that I will able to continue to convey hope and recovery as well as educate on mental illness. Yes, I know I am not a teacher however some of the best educators in my life  were NOT teachers.

I hope to blog again in the next day or so. I am thrilled that I am able to share my life with you as well as be able show people that there is hope and recovery is possible and that people with mental illness are fully capable human beings. Have a good rest of your weekend all. Peace Out and have fun!!!

Figuring Out How To Succeed At Blogging

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday!!!! Apparently, I’m not reaching as many people as I hoped I would be. I only have 15 followers and don’t get many views. I am just getting frustrated with myself because I am not blogging as regularly as I was wanting to as well as not doing much educating when it comes to mental illness. I was hoping that I would educate people on particular mental health diagnoses but it appears that something is getting in my way in doing that. That something is me. I’m the one that is hindering the progression of this blog. On the positive side, I know that through my blog that I am showing others that recovery is possible (or at least I think I am).

My thinking was (and still is) when I started this blog was to show others that recovery is possible and that their is hope. I know that my blog is succeeding to a point when it comes to showing others that recovery is possible but it’s not succeeding in other ways. Its not succeeding in the number of followers or views I have or get and I think the reason being is the reason I stated earlier in this blog and that is the education part of it. I am hoping that once things start settling down with the new job as well as the new volunteer job that I will be able to start the education part of this blog. It is my hope that I will educate on the diagnosis’s that I have as well the ones I no longer meet the criteria for. I then hope to do some education on the diagnoses that family members and close friends struggle with and then go on from there.

Now that you heard enough about how my blog is not succeeding let get on to other subjects. I will start with my boyfriend. When he got off from work this morning I had made him breakfast. I made him pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs. According to my boyfriend I burned the bacon. He pretty much likes eating bacon raw or at least almost raw. He likes all the fat on it. I do have to say that the fat on the bacon is what makes bacon taste good. After eating breakfast and doing dishes we had some intimate moments. Intimacy is something I personally struggle with because of some severe trauma I experienced as a child and even some trauma I experienced as an adult. With that being said my boyfriend makes me feel safe especially during intimate moments. He is gentle with me and extremely loving.

Speaking of loving, I am loving my new job. Yes, I know a loving partner is completely different than loving your job. I not only love my job, I enjoy it as well. My job gives me great joy even though its not the position I desire. In regards to it not being the position I desire its a foot in the door as well as moving up opportunities.

Since we are on the topic of opportunities, my volunteer job at the Warm Line gives me training opportunities as well as possible career advancement at my current employer and possibly at the Crisis Line where the Warm Line is run out of. Yes, I know what I just said sounds a little selfish but if what I do employment wise as well as volunteering gives me a purpose in life then so be it. I’m improving with being a call taker on the Warm Line and am no longer a deer in head lights. I am finally getting in the grove of things as a call taker.

I so want to share more with you right now but I realize I am hungry and need to figure out what I want to cook for dinner. I’m hoping that my boyfriend will give me some idea’s. Actually, I am hoping that he will do the cooking tonight.  Well, have a good Friday evening everyone. I hope everyone enjoys there weekend and has some fun. Peace out.